Correction devoir

[lili1974]

Pouvez vous m'aider à corriger ce texte. c'est un devoir relevé. merci .

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Today, 5 August 2050, the temperatures remain very high under a blazing sun scarcely barely veiled by a light haze.

Thunder storms will erupt over northeastern California. Fires are expected.

However, tomorrow morning, torrential rains will fall on the capital Washington DC for three days non-stop. Floods are to be expected on a major part of the territory.

Avoid going out and stay safe.

On Wednesday, hurricane Kylie will approach the coast and may devastate everything on its way.
Put yourself safe in the bunkers !!

Thursday, the worst is to predict! Vulcanologists fearing an eruption volcano jefferson located in central Oregon in the northwestern United States.

Friday, risks of snowfall that will paralyze the center of the country.

After this apocalypse, a return to normal this weekend. 

However, a significant drop in temperature is to be expected!!!!

As you have just seen, in many parts of the world, precipitation, floods, storms, heat waves and drought are increasing in intensity.

Do not wait until 2045 (two thousand and forty five) to react! 

We can reduce risk by reducing global greenhouse effects and limiting carbon dioxide.

Recall that the climate change policy is put forward by the Kyoto Protocol.

This weather report is over, thank you for listening to me.

Good night!

 

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Pourquoi as-tu créé un nouveau sujet alors qu'il s'agit d'une seconde mouture du premier posté le 25 février ? Il fallait le mettre à la suite dans le même fil de discussion.

Et pourquoi l'avoir mis en caractères d'une aussi grande taille et en gras ? Je les ai réduits et supprimé le gras.

Donc, reprends les indications que je t'ai données y compris sur l'emploi/omission de " the ", les corrections que j'ai faites mardi 27 février et apporte à ton second texte toutes les modifications nécessaires.

Après quoi je fusionnerai ce sujet avec le premier et te dirai si ça va, même si je n'aime pas trop refaire ce que j'ai déjà fait.

[lili1974]

bonjour,  j'ai fait les corrections du devoir que vous avez corrigé. le voici. Je manque de confiance en moi et vu que je dois le présenter devant toute la classe, je panique un peu. vraiment désolé de vous faire lire un second texte mais si vous pouvez m'aider ça serait gentil. merci .

Today 15 December 2045,  temperatures remain very high under a blazing sun barely veiled by a light haze. 

 For the next three days: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday very violent rains are expected in Washington DC for three days non-stop. 

A meteorite rain must fall this Monday morning in the south, in Louisiana.

  Avoid going out and take shelter.

  Morever, in Los Angeles, a hurricane will occur. Starting on Tuesday morning and may be very violent, the most violent ever with also some snow for Tuesday and Wednesday with a very veiled sky.

A clear sky is excepted  on Wednesday in California with a meteorite shower for all the day. 

 Nevertheless, for Tuesday and Friday, Volcano Mount Jefferson in Oregon according to our statistics will wake up with a big eruption which will flood a big part of Oregon

Saturday and Sunday in  Arizona a  maximum drought will take place . It seems  it's the first time something like this happens in the world

             The climate change policy  was put forward by the protocal of Kyoto which aimed to prevent damaging the environment and  the climate, it’s  the reason why greenhouse gas  was prohibited

A regulation was  put in place to avoid all the problems already present like the Arctic and Antarctic ice cap melting, a dramatic elevation of  temperatures as well as  rampaging volcanoes or the multiplication of  hurricanes.

All these disasters were  due to the global warming despite all the climate change policies that were already in place

 This weather report is coming to the end, thanks for listening to me. Good Bye!

 

[Jean B]

Décidément, ou bien c'est moi qui m'exprime mal, ou bien c'est toi qui ne me comprends pas !

Mon message de ce matin concerne ton second texte, pas le premier que  tu as cru bon de remettre ici et dans lequel tu as oublié de rectifier ceci :

A clear sky is excepted  on Wednesday in California with a meteorite shower for all the day. 

Pour faire simple, je mets en rouge ce sur quoi tu dois réfléchir et corriger dans ton second texte ci-après.

Ce que j'ai mis en vert, c'est cadeau !

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
 

Today, 5 August 2050, the temperatures remain very high under a blazing sun scarcely barely < l'un ou l'autre, pas les 2 !  veiled by a light haze. Thunder storms will erupt < mauvais choix de verbe over northeastern California. Fires are expected.
 

However, tomorrow morning, torrential rains will fall on the capital Washington DC for three days non-stop. Floods are to be expected on a major part of the territory.
 

Avoid going out and stay in a safe place.
 

On Wednesday, hurricane Kylie will approach the coast and may devastate everything on its way.
Put yourself safe in the bunkers !! < se mettre à l'abri >= to shelter/to take cover
 

Thursday, the worst is to predict! < infinitif passif = be + V-ed vulcanologists fearing < présent simple an eruption of volcano Jefferson located in central Oregon in the northwestern United States.
 

Friday, risks of snowfall that will paralyze the center of the country.
 

After this apocalypse, a return to normal is expected this weekend. 
 

However, a significant drop in temperatures is to be expected!!!!
 

As you have just seen, in many parts of the world, precipitation, floods, storms, heat waves and drought are increasing in intensity.
 

Do not wait until 2045 (two thousand and forty five) to react! 
 

We can reduce risks by reducing  < un synonyme pour éviter la répétition > lessening global greenhouse effects and limiting carbon dioxide.
 

Recall/Remember that the climate change policy is < le temps ? put forward by the Kyoto Protocol.
 

This weather report is over, thank you for listening to me.
Good night!

Cette fois-ci, c'est nettement plus apocalyptique !

Reviens poster le texte corrigé.

 

 

[lili1974]

Bonjour, j'ai essayé de corriger certaines fautes. Voici mes deux textes. Merci de me dire quel texte dois-je présenter. Merci pour votre aide.

texte1

Today, 15 December 2045, temperatures remain very high under a blazing sun barely veiled by a light haze. 
For the next three days: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday very violent rains are expected in Washington DC for three days non-stop. 
A meteorite rain must fall this Monday morning in the south, in Louisiana.
Avoid going out and take shelter.
Moreover, in Los Angeles, a hurricane will occur. Starting on Tuesday morning and may be very violent, the most violent ever with also some snow for Tuesday and Wednesday with a very veiled sky.

A clear sky is expected on Wednesday in California with a meteorite shower for all the day. 
Nevertheless, for Tuesday and Friday, Volcano Mount Jefferson in Oregon, according to our statistics will wake up with a big eruption which will flood a big part of Oregon
Saturday and Sunday in Arizona a maximum drought will take place. It seems it's the first time something like this happens in the world.
The climate change policy was put forward by the protocol of Kyoto, which aimed to prevent damaging the environment and the climate, it’s the reason why greenhouse gas was  prohibited.

A regulation was  put in place to avoid all the problems already present like the Arctic and Antarctic ice cap melting, a dramatic elevation of  temperatures as well as  rampaging volcanoes or the multiplication of  hurricanes.

All these disasters were  due to the global warming despite all the climate change policies that were already in place

 This weather report is coming to the end, thanks for listening to me. Good Bye!

texte 2

Today, 5 August 2050 temperatures remain very high under a blazing sun barely veiled by a light haze. Thunderstorms will erupt over northeastern California.
Fires are expected.
However, tomorrow morning, torrential rains will fall on the capital, Washington DC for three days non-stop. Floods to be expected on a major part of the territory.
Avoid going out and stay in a safe place. 
On Wednesday, hurricane Kylie will approach the coast and may devastate everything on its way.
Avoid going out and take shelter.
Thursday, the worst was predicted ! Vulcanologists fear an eruption of volcano Jefferson located in central Oregon in the northwestern United States.
Friday, risks of snowfall that will paralyze the center of the country.
After this apocalypse, a return to normal is expected this weekend. 
However, a significant drop in temperatures is to be expected!!!!
As you have just seen, in many parts of the world, precipitation, floods, storms, heat waves and drought are increasing in intensity.
Do not wait until 2045 (two thousand and forty five) to react !
We can reduce risks by lessening global greenhouse effects and limiting carbon dioxide.
Remember that the climate change policy put forward by the Kyoto Protocol.
 This weather report is over, thank you for listening to me.
Good night !

[Jean B]

texte 1 OK

texte 2

[...]//[...]

Thunderstorms will erupt over northeastern California. < Déjà signalé comme verbe inapproprié. Sois donc attentif. Quel verbe emploie-t-on généralement quand un orage survient ? N'as-tu aucun dictionnaire ?
[...]//[...]
 Floods are to be expected on a major part of the territory. < Tu comprends ce que j'écris dans mes annotations ou pas ?
[...]//[...]
Thursday, the worst was is to be predicted ! < Rebelote ! Un infinitif passif, ça te parle ? Vulcanologists fear an eruption of volcano Jefferson located in central Oregon in the northwestern United States.

[...]//[...] Le reste est OK

Ton second texte étant légèrement plus "apocalyptique ", c'est celui que tu présenteras.

[lili1974]

Bonjour, je tiens à vous remercier pour votre aide et de votre patience. merci et bon week-end.