Correction

[Bourbon]

Bonjour,

Je dois avec mon groupe de travail présenter un super héros de notre invention. Je suis chargé de la rédaction des textes pour l'oral. Auriez-vous l'obligeance de corriger mes erreurs, s'il vous plaît ?

Our hero's name is the Diamond knight. She is the alter ego of Aliénor Spencer, the daughter of a very famous knight of the England's kingdom. She travelled through the time. When she arrived in our time, she was impressed by the human's violence. She decided to protect the world and fight the violence. She enlisted in the Britain army. She helped the United Kingdom and she fought the German's army. After the war, she met a young boy called Tim. She had the crunch on him. But, Tim joined a Marxist group and he was killed by the leader of the Marxist group, who want to destroy the capitalist society and the mankind. So, our hero decided to take a revenge in the horror of her husband.

 

Our hero, is small. She has red eyes and she has a long and smooth hair. She looks like a knight because she wears an iron armour. She inherits her armour to this father. She owns an indestructible helmet. According to the History to her family, this helmet belonged to a Viking. She wears an impressive ring which allows her to turn into.

 

We will describe the powers and the abilities of our hero. First of all, her ring enables her to turn into when she wants to put on her armour. Then, she has the ability to make a laser with her eyes. She can to cut in half an enemy with this ability. She has a potion, which allows her to fly. At lastly, she has a huge axe. With her axe, she can kill an enemy quickly.

 

The name of our villain is the black cloak. Before to become a bad guy, he was a political man. He was the leader of a Marxist political organisation. He is the son a very poor farmer. His father was arrested because he did not pay his tax. The black cloak decided to take a revenge. He wants to destroy the capitalist society and the mankind. He is small and he has dark hair. He has the abilities to make a fire bowl with his hand and to fly.

Merci.

[Jean B]

 

Bonjour,

Il y a 4 heures, Bourbon a dit :

Bonjour,

Je dois avec mon groupe de travail présenter un super héros de notre invention. Je suis chargé de la rédaction des textes pour l'oral. Auriez-vous l'obligeance de corriger mes erreurs, s'il vous plaît ?

Our hero's name is the Diamond Knight. She is the alter ego of Aliénor Spencer, the daughter of a very famous knight of the England's kingdom. She travelled through the time. When she arrived in our time, she was impressed by the humans' 1 violence. She decided to protect the world and fight the violence. She enlisted in the Britain 2 British army. She helped the United Kingdom and she fought the German's 2 army. After the war, she met a young boy called Tim. She had the crunch on fell for/fell in love with/ him. But, Tim joined a Marxist group and he was killed by the leader of the Marxist group who wanted 3 to destroy the capitalist society and the mankind. So, our hero decided to take a revenge in the horror 4 honour/memory of her husband.

1 les humains (nom) = humans <===> humain(e) (adjectif) = human

2 Britain = nom <===> British et German = adjectifs

3 respect de la concordance des temps

4 en l'honneur de ou en mémoire de, c'est une déduction personnelle logique. Il faut toujours se relire afin d'éviter ce genre de sottise.

Our hero, is small. She has red eyes and she has a long and smooth hair. She looks like a knight because she wears an iron armour. She inherited 5 her father's 6 armour to this father. She owns an indestructible helmet. According to the history to her family history, 7 this helmet belonged to a Viking. She wears an impressive ring which allows her to turn into xxx. < se transformer en quoi ?

5 dans le contexte, le verbe s'emploie forcément au passé

6 emploi du génitif

7 le nom composé suffit souvent à induire l'idée d'appartenance, il faut y penser

We will describe the powers and the abilities of our hero. First of all, her ring enables her to turn into < bis when she wants to put on her armour. Then, she has the ability to make a laser with her eyes. She can to 8 cut in half an enemy with this ability. She has a potion 9 which allows her to fly. At last / Lastly, she has a huge axe. With her axe, she can kill an enemy quickly.

8 un modal est toujours obligatoirement suivi d'une base verbale, c'est du B.A.-BA de la grammaire de l'anglais.

9 pas de virgule devant un mot charnière tel qu'un pronom relatif

The name of our villain is the Black Cloak. Before to become 10 becoming a bad guy, he was a political man. He was the leader of a Marxist political organisation. He is the son of a very poor farmer. His father was arrested because he did not pay his tax. The Black Cloak decided to take a revenge. He wants to destroy the capitalist society and the mankind. He is small and he has dark hair. He has the abilities to make a fire bowl with his hand and to fly.

Merci.

10 gérondif après une préposition comme before

Urgence absolue : étude approfondie et révision des règles d'emploi/omission du déterminant "the".

Voir pj ci-dessous.

The.doc