Lettre

[Fiona766]

Bonjour Monsieur,

Stanislas, mon petit frère, est en troisième et veut intégrer une section européenne dans le même établissement en seconde l'an prochain.

Il me livre sa lettre de motivation et je vous la recopie. Cordialement Fiona.

I'm currently in year 9 in the secondary school St Joseph. I would like to tursue my course in your school.

I like speaking english vey much as listenning to the BBC or watching films in original version. That's why I would join the European section from the year 10 in order to improve my skills.

Moreover, I like travelling. This summer I will go to england for one week in a family. I think it's important to acquire a good English level more particurlarly in international relations.

In addition, I plan in the future to suty law and I know it is possible to get a diploma which combines law and English. That would be very interessant.

Sa lettre lui semble peu étoffée, si vous avez des conseils vous pouvez lui en donner. Fiona & Stan.

[Jean B]

Bonjour, Fiona.

Voici la lettre de Stan revue et légèrement remaniée.

I am currently in year 9 at St Joseph secondary school. I would like to carry on studying in your school because I think it could help me get an even better level. That is the reason why I would like to join the European section from year 10 in order to improve my skills.

I like speaking English vey much as well as listening to the BBC or watching films in the original version.

Moreover, I like travelling. This summer I will stay with a family for one week in England and I will do my best to store up as much useful information as I can. I think it is important to acquire a good level in English, more particularly regarding international relations. As I want to improve both my oral work and written papers, I think studying in your school would certainly help me reach my goal.

In addition, I plan to study law in the future and I know it is possible to get a diploma which combines law and English. So I think that being fluent in English would certainly be a great asset.

I am aware of the excellent reputation of your European section and it would be an honor to be given tne opportunity to join it.

I look forward to hearing fom you.

Yours sincerely,

Sa lettre lui semble peu étoffée, si vous avez des conseils vous pouvez lui en donner. Fiona & Stan.

[Browyn]

"I like speaking english very much as listenning to the BBC or watching films in original version."

Pourquoi un "as" ici ? Plutôt "and" non ?

Sinon, personnellement, j'aurais construit la lettre à l'envers. C'est à dire que j'aurais commencé de la même manière : "I'm currently in year 9 in the secondary school St Joseph." Mais ensuite, au lieu de dire tout de suite que j'aimerais intégrer l'école, j'aurais parlé du pourquoi je veux intégrer cette école. Donc j'aurais commencé par dire que j'aimerais faire des études de droit, que j'aime voyager etc... et que donc l'apprentissage de l'anglais m'est indispensable c'est pourquoi j'aimerais intégrer votre école... Après c'est une vision personnelle de la construction d'une lettre de motivation... !

[Fiona766]

Bonsoir Monsieur,

Tout d'abord je vous remercie d'avoir corrigé et ajouté quelques expressions. C'est vraiment gentil. Je suis pétrifié à l'idée que ce soit refusé.

Je comptais ajouter:

subject: Application for the integration with the European section in your high school

Pour parler d'histoire et qui me passionne, c'est vrai: My curiosity is not limited to travel. History is one of my best subject. Last year I saw the film 'The king's speech' in original version. I found it very interesting and persuaded me to know more about this royal dynasty and their influence in the United Kingdom.

Merci encore de votre soutien, je vous tiendrai au courant. Ma soeur me dit que ce ne sera pas bien grave si je ne suis pas pris en section européenne, c'est vrai mais j'aimerais vraiment en faire partie. Cordialement Stanislas.

[Jean B]

Object: Application to join the European section in your high school

My curiosity is not limited to travel. History is one of my best subjects. Last year I watched the film 'The King's speech' in the original version. I found it very interesting and it persuaded me to know more about this royal dynasty and their influence in the United Kingdom.

[Fiona766]

bonsoir Monsieur,

Je vous remercie de votre aide . Je pense que j'aurai un oral et je vais préparer une présentation, je la posterai et vous me direz ce que vous en pensez. Si j'ai d'autres éléments à écrire dans ma lettre je vous les posterai également.

Bonne fin de journée,

Stanislas.