Texte à corriger

[Nova]

Bonjour,

j'ai réalisé un texte mais, comme mon niveau en anglais laisse à désirer, j'aimerais qu'on me corrige celui-ci. Je vous remercie d'avance .

There are so many social network that we have to talk about one in particular. And we choose the bigger one : facebook

Facebook is a new innovation. It offers you an opportunity to interact with a lot of new people. You can sculpt your on-line identity and learn more about how Internet works to create new relationship. It also might be an introduction into market if you want to ‘’market’’ yourself. But it’s important to remember that facebook can also be harmful for youngers and elders. And we will present you all these aspects. We will make a global presentation, then we will see how facebook was created. We will talk about Mark Zuckerberg. We will mention the good and the bad sides of this phenomenom. Finally we are going to tell you about the users of facebook.

To begin with, we will describe facebook.

Facebook is a social network service and website launched in February 2004. Facebook has more than 500 million active users, Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends and exchange messages, including automatic notifications when they update their profile.

Additionally, users can join networks organized by city, workplace, school, and region. The website's name stems from the colloquial name of books given at the start of the academic year by university administrations with the intention of helping students get to know each other better.

The website currently has more than 800 million active users worldwide.

Some of you have probably heard about facebook and may even have a profile page on there . But for those who don’t know what it is, I am going to define facebook : « Facebook is a massivly multiplayer online game in witch every objectif is to collect ''friends'' ».

Facebook has been the subject of controversy. It has been blocked intermittently in several countries including Syria, China and Iran. It has also been banned from many places to discourage employees from wasting time using the service. Privacy has also been an issue, and it has been compromised several times.

Now, Facebook is even available wherever whom we are. Indeed, Iphone, Blackberry and the other smartphones propose an application with direct access to Facebook. Moreover the number of members doesn’t stop to increase, (we can see it on this graph where we are crossed by very few users in 2004 to today more than 800 millions). Among its members we find anonymous, singers, political ...

Afterwards, we will talk about the genesis of Facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003. The site represented a Harvard University version of Hot or Not, according to the Harvard Crimson. That night, Zuckerberg was blogging about a girl who had dumped him and trying to think of something to do to get her off his mind.

Harvard at that time didn’t have a student directory with photos and basic information and the initial site generated 450 visitors and 22,000 photo-views in its first four hours online. That the initial site mirrored people’s physical community -- with their real identities -- represented the key aspects of what later became Facebook.

On February 4, 2004, Zuckerberg launched The Facebook, originally located at thefacebook.com.

Membership was initially restricted to students of Harvard College, and then, more than half the undergraduate population at Harvard was registered on the service. In March 2004, Facebook expanded to Stanford, Columbia, and Yale. Progesively, Facebook was expanded to new college very months.

In short, Mark Zuckerberg founded Facebook with his college roommates and fellow computer science students Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes while he was a student at Harvard University. The website's membership was initially limited to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges in the Boston area, the Ivy League, and Stanford University. It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over.

[yveslouis]

Bonjour,

j'ai réalisé un texte mais, comme mon niveau en anglais laisse à désirer, j'aimerais qu'on me corrige celui-ci. Je vous remercie d'avance .

There are so many social networks that we have to talk about one in particular. (Pourquoi devrions-nous parler d'un réseau social parce qu'il en existe beaucoup ?) And we choose (temps) the bigger (superlatif) one : facebook

Facebook is a new innovation (pléonasme). It offers you an opportunity to interact with a lot of new people. You can sculpt your on-line identity and learn more about how Internet works to create new relationship. It also (place ?) might be an introduction into market if you want to ‘’market’’ yourself. But it’s important to remember that facebook can also be harmful for youngers and elders. And we will present you all these aspects. We will make a global presentation, then we will see how facebook was created. We will talk about Mark Zuckerberg. We will mention the good and the bad sides of this phenomenom. Finally we are going to tell you about the users of facebook facebook users.

To begin with, we will describe facebook.

Facebook is a social network service and website launched in February 2004. Facebook It has more than 500 million active users, (Virgule ?) Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends and exchange messages, including automatic notifications when they update their profile.

Additionally, users can join networks organized by city, workplace, school, and region. The website's name stems from the colloquial name of books given at the start of the academic year by university administrations with the intention of helping students get to know each other better.

The website currently has more than 800 million (500 millions, 800 millions ?) active users worldwide.

Some of you have probably heard about facebook and may even have a profile page on there . But for those who don’t know what it is, I am going to define facebook : « Facebook is a massivly multiplayer online game in witch every objectif is to collect ''friends'' ».

Facebook has been the subject of controversy. It has been blocked intermittently in several countries including Syria, China and Iran. It has also been banned from many places to discourage employees from wasting time using the service. Privacy has also been an issue, and it has been compromised several times.

Now, Facebook is even available wherever whom we are. Indeed, Iphone, Blackberry and the other smartphones propose an application with direct access to Facebook. Moreover the number of members doesn’t stop to increase, (we can see it on this graph where we are crossed (???) by very few users in 2004 to today more than 800 millions). Among its members we find anonymous, singers, political ...

Afterwards, we will talk about the genesis of Facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003. The site represented a Harvard University version of Hot or Not, according to the Harvard Crimson. That night, Zuckerberg was blogging about a girl who had dumped him and trying to think of something to do to get her off his mind.

Harvard at that time didn’t have a student directory with photos and basic information and the initial site generated 450 visitors and 22,000 photo-views in its first four hours online. That the initial site mirrored people’s physical community -- with their real identities -- represented the key aspects of what later became Facebook.

On February 4, 2004, Zuckerberg launched The Facebook, originally located at thefacebook.com.

Membership was initially restricted to students of Harvard College, and then, more than half the undergraduate population at Harvard was registered on the service. In March 2004, Facebook expanded to Stanford, Columbia, and Yale. Progesively, Facebook was expanded to new college very months.

In short, Mark Zuckerberg founded Facebook with his college roommates and fellow computer science students Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes while he was a student at Harvard University. The website's membership was initially limited to Harvard students, but was expanded to other colleges in the Boston area, the Ivy League, and Stanford University. It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over.

[Nova]

Bonjour,

Tout d’ abord, je vous remercie de m’avoir répondu yveslouis.

Pourriez-vous revérifiez si cela est correct ?

And we choose (temps) the bigger (superlatif) one : And we chose the biggest one

It also (place ?) might be an introduction: It might also be an introduction

Facebook is a massivly multiplayer online game in witch every objectif is to collect ''friends'' :

Facebook is a massively multiplayer online game in which every objective is to collect ‘’friends’’

Now, Facebook is even available wherever whom we are : Now, Facebook is even available wherever we are

Moreover the number of members doesn’t stop to increase : Moreover the number of members doesn’t stop increasing

Among its members we find anonymous, singers, political ...: Among its members we find anonymous, singers, politics...

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003: Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, on 2003

It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over: It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, anyone aged 13 and over.

Merci d’avance

[Nova]

• Bonsoir

• Je me permets de faire un double poste car j'aurais la suite de mon texte à faire corriger. Je vous remercie d'avance.

Now, we are going to tell you about Mark Elliot Zuckerberg’s life (born on May 14,on 1984). He is an American computer scientist,software developer and philanthropist best known for creating the social networking site Facebook,of which he is CEO (chief executive officer) and president. It was co-founded as a private company in 2004.In 2010, He was named Time Magazine's Person of the Year

Then we will explain you the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook.

On the one hand, there are positive sides:

Facebook is a popular free social networking website that allows registered users to create profiles, upload photos and video, send messages and keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues. The site,which is available in 37 different languages, includes public features such as:Marketplace - allows members to post, read and respond to classified ads.Groups - allows members who have common interests to find each other and interact.Events - allows members to publicize an event, invite guests and track who plans to attend.Pages - allows members to create and promote a public page built around a specific topic.

Presence technology - allows members to see which contacts are online and chat

- On the other hand, here is the dark side of facebook, the shadow of the colossus

At first ,Facebook applications can provide the personal information needed to create a targeted attack. Smartphones and social networking sites are likely to become the next big target for cyber criminals, according to a security industry report.Symantec's annual threat analysis warns that the technologies are increasingly being used to spread malicious code. Users of Facebook, Twitter and Google's mobile operating system, Android, are said to be particularly vulnerable. However, the number of attacks remains small compared to other online crimes such as e-mail phishing. According to Symantec, known vulnerabilities in mobile operating systems rose from 115 in 2009 to 163 in 2010. In several cases, the security holes were exploited and used to install harmful software on Android handsets - suggesting that criminals now view smartphone hacking as a potentially lucrative area .

At least six different varieties of malware were discovered hidden in applications that were distributed through a Chinese download service.

Several pieces of malware were also found on iPhones, however only devices that had been "jailbroken" to bypass Apple's security were affected.

The company's process of pre-vetting all new applications is believed to have spared its devices from a major attack.

On Facebook and Twitter, Symantec's analysis highlighted several different types of threat.

Among the most prevalent were web links that encourage users to click through to other sites containing malware and rogue applications, designed to collect personal information.

The company estimates that one in six links posted on Facebook pages are connected to malicious software.

User information is said to be particularly valuable in "social engineering" attacks, where criminals use knowledge of an individual to trick them into scams that appear to relate to them personally.

Furthermore, Facebook’s advertising system is invading users privacy.

Facebook has met some controversy over the past few years. It was banned by some governments like China. Facebook heaped criticism on the privacy of the users, teen's suicide, Pro-mafia groups or groups denying the Holocaust.

However, in December 2008, the Supreme Court of the Australian Capital Territory ruled that Facebook is a valid protocol to serve court notices to defendants.

Then, let’s talk about the financing of facebook.

Facebook received its first investment of 500,000 US$ in June 2004 from PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel. A year later, Accel Partners and Greylock Partners each invest 12 and 27 million dollars.

With the sale of social network MySpace in July 2005, many rumors appeared on the possible sale of Facebook. In fact, negotiations took place in March 2006 and Facebook would have refused a 750 million dollars offer from an unknown bidder. It is said that the asking price would be mounted up to 2 billion.

In 2006, Yahoo! enter into negotiations with Facebook. Tenders will reach 1 billion dollars. Later, an internal investigation will consider the price of facebook to 8 billion dollars.

On July 7, 2007, Zuckerberg puts an end to ongoing ( = in progress ) negotiations. He told the press that he was not really looking to sell the company.

Other companies have approached Facebook like Google and Microsoft. In October 2007, Microsoft announced that it had purchased 1.6% of Facebook for $ 240 million, which was at that time valued at 15 billion dollars.

.

Despite much hype, Facebook has yet to float on the stock the market, with many analysts saying that the latest round of investment could actually delay the company from doing so.

Nate Elliott, principal analyst for Forrester Research, believes that Facebook didn’t even need Goldman's cash on the operational front and that the deal was about re-positioning Facebook as tech superbrand, as well as giving the company the chance to give some money back to initial investors and employees without floating.

In August 2008, BusinessWeek reported that the company's total valuation at between 3.75 billion dollars and 5 billion dollars.

Facebook has become the largest social networks in the world. He has continued to innovate and modernize thanks to massive investments which were quickly repaid.

Facebook generated 150 million dollars in 2007

There were also many deals with companies (Sony, Coca Cola…) to advertise on the site in return for money

Finally, we are going to tell you about Facebook’s users

There are more than 800 million active users, 120 million users connect every day, 850 million photos uploaded each month, 5 million video, 2 million event and more than 20 million groups. Each day, more than 5 billion minutes are spent on the site in the world. So we can say that Facebook has become one of the leading social networking sites on the Internet today. There are Hight school students, college students, family members and friend using this tool to simply keep in touch with one another, while other people have come to use Facebook for business purposes. It is simply a multibillion-dollar organization that has affected the way people communicate today. It’s obvious that Facebook has such an eminent control over its users; nevertheless it is the user who must determine whether this is a good or a bad control. You can display a picture of yourself for your profile, you can describe your likes, dislikes and many interests, you can report to your friend whether or not you are listed as single, you can share your birthday, your age, you can let others tag photos of you and you can also post a video of you or your friends. It can be used to track down old childhood chums, to list your top friends or share your mood. Depending on how the user has arranged their personal settings, it is possible to people to whom you have no knowledge of, to view the photos, videos and comments that you or your friend have posted.

To conclude, Facebook is a great innovation that allows users to express their humanity, meet new or former friend and an opportunity to create new communities. It represents a forum in which one can make choices about their identity. That freedom does not suggest that one can do so without consequences. And you have to keep your eyes on your facebook profile to be sure that you won’t get in trouble.

[yveslouis]

Bonjour,

Tout d’ abord, je vous remercie de m’avoir répondu yveslouis.

Pourriez-vous revérifier si cela est correct ?

And we choose (temps) the bigger (superlatif) one : And we chose the biggest one (Le "present perfect" conviendrait mieux : résultat présent d'une action passée)

It also (place ?) might be an introduction: It might also be an introduction OK

Facebook is a massivly multiplayer online game in witch every objectif is to collect ''friends'' :

Facebook is a massively multiplayer online game in which every objective is to collect ‘’friends’’ OK

Now, Facebook is even available wherever whom we are : Now, Facebook is even available wherever we are. OK

Moreover the number of members doesn’t stop to increase : Moreover the number of members doesn’t stop increasing OK

Among its members we find anonymous, singers, political ...: Among its members we find anonymous, singers, politics... OK

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003: Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, on 2003

It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, to anyone aged 13 and over: It later expanded further to include any university student, then high school students, and, finally, anyone aged 13 and over. OK

Merci d’avance

[yveslouis]

• Bonsoir

• Je me permets de faire un double poste car j'aurais la suite de mon texte à faire corriger. Je vous remercie d'avance.

(On place un espace après la virgule ou le point.)

Now, we are going to tell you about Mark Elliot Zuckerberg’s life (born on May 14,on 1984). He is an American computer scientist, software developer and philanthropist best known for creating the social networking site Facebook, of which he is CEO (chief executive officer) and president. It was co-founded as a private company in 2004. In 2010, He was named Time Magazine's Person of the Year

Then we will explain you the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook.

On the one hand, there are positive sides:

Facebook is a popular free social networking website that allows registered users to create profiles, vvv upload photos and video, vvv send messages and vvv keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues. The site, which is available in 37 different languages, includes public features such as: Marketplace - which allows members to post, read and respond to classified ads. Groups- which allows members who have common interests to find each other and interact. Events - which allows members to publicize an event, vvv invite guests and vvv track who plans (temps) to attend. Pages- which allows members to create and promote a public page built around a specific topic.

Presence technology - which allows members to see which contacts are online and chat

- On the other hand, here is the dark side of facebook, the shadow of the colossus.

At first ,Facebook applications can provide the personal information needed to create a targeted attack. Smartphones and social networking sites are likely to become the next big target for cyber criminals, according to a security industry report. Symantec's annual threat analysis warns that the technologies are increasingly being used to spread malicious code. The users of Facebook, Twitter and Google's mobile operating system, Android, are said to be particularly vulnerable. However, the number of attacks remains small compared to other online crimes such as e-mail phishing. According to Symantec, known vulnerabilities in mobile operating systems rose from 115 in 2009 to 163 in 2010. In several cases, the security holes were exploited and used to install harmful software on Android handsets - suggesting that criminals now view smartphone hacking as a potentially lucrative area .

At least six different varieties of malware were discovered hidden in applications that were distributed through a Chinese download service.

Several pieces of malware were also found on iPhones, however only devices that had been "jailbroken" to bypass Apple's security were affected.

The company's process of pre-vetting all new applications is believed to have spared its devices from a major attack.

On Facebook and Twitter, Symantec's analysis highlighted several different types of threat.

Among the most prevalent were web links that encourage users to click through to other sites containing malware and rogue applications, designed to collect personal information.

The company estimates that one in six links posted on Facebook pages are connected to malicious software.

User information is said to be particularly valuable in "social engineering" attacks, where criminals use knowledge of an individual to trick them into scams that appear to relate to them personally.

Furthermore, Facebook’s advertising system is invading users privacy.

Facebook has met some controversy over the past few years. It was banned by some governments like China's. Facebook heaped criticism on the privacy of the users, teen's suicide, Pro-mafia groups or groups denying the Holocaust.

However, in December 2008, the Supreme Court of the Australian Capital Territory ruled that Facebook is a valid protocol to serve court notices to defendants.

To be continued.

[Nova]

Bonjour, tout d’abord merci d’avoir répondu. Pourriez-vous regarder de nouveau si cela est correct ?

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003: Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, on 2003 :

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003: Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, 2003

Now, we are going to tell you about Mark Elliot Zuckerberg’s life (born on May 14,on 1984):

Now, we are going to tell you about Mark Elliot Zuckerberg’s life (born on May 14, 1984)

Facebook is a popular free social networking website that allows registered users to create profiles, vvv upload photos and video, vvv send messages and vvv keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues :

Facebook is a popular free social networking website that allows registered users to create profiles, to upload photos and video, to send messages and to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues

Marketplace - which allows members to post, read and respond to classified ads. Groups which allows members who have common interests to find each other and interact. Events - which allows members to publicize an event : ici je dois vous avouer n’avoir pas compris pourquoi which ne marche pas. J’ai relu un peu les cours sur les pronoms relatifs mais là je vois pas … Pourriez-vous m’éclairer ?

allows members to publicize an event, vvv invite guests and vvv track who plans (temps) to attend:

allows members to publicize an event, to invite guests and to track who planned to attend

The users of Facebook, Twitter and Google's mobile operating system, Android, are said to be particularly vulnerable :

Users of Facebook, Twitter and Google's mobile operating system, Android, are said to be particularly vulnerable

The company estimates that one in six links posted on Facebook pages are connected to malicious software.

The company estimates that one of six links posted in Facebook pages are connected to malicious software.

However, in December 2008, the Supreme Court of the Australian Capital Territory ruled that Facebook is a valid protocol to serve court notices to defendants:

However, in December 2008, the Supreme Court of the Australian Capital Territory ruled that Facebook was a valid protocol to serve court notices to defendants.

Enfin j’ai une dernière question : pour dire les dates en anglais on dit bien ( par exemple ) :

The first of April two thousand and twelve ?

Je vous remercie d’avance pour votre réponse

[Nova]

Bonjour,

je fais un double poste car j'ai une question:

y-a-t-il une différence entre '' I work as a teacher '' et '' I work like a teacher''.

Je vous remercie d'avance

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

y-a-t-il une différence entre '' I work as a teacher '' et '' I work like a teacher''.

[Nova]

^{Merci JRB , pourriez-vous également regarder une dernière fois la correction de mon texte qui se trouve juste au dessus de mon dernier post ?}

^{Merci d'avance ^^}

[Jean B]

^{Merci JRB , pourriez-vous également regarder une dernière fois la correction de mon texte qui se trouve juste au dessus de mon dernier post ?}

^{Merci d'avance ^^}

[Nova]

Bonjour

En fait la première phrase correspond à celle du texte du dessus ( celle où vous m'aviez dit où il y avait l'erreur) et la deuxième phrase est la phrase corrigée.

Désolé c'est vrai que ce n'est pas très agréable à lire mais je ne voyais pas d'autres dispositions possibles.

Je vous remercie d'avance

[Nova]

Bonjour,

Pourriez-vous revérifier ces phrases s'il vous plait ?

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, in 2003: Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, 2003

Now, we are going to tell you about Mark Elliot Zuckerberg’s life (born on May 14, 1984)

Facebook is a popular free social networking website that allows registered users to create profiles, to upload photos and video, to send messages and to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues

The site, which is available in 37 different languages, includes public features such as:Marketplace - which allows members to post, read and respond to classified ads. Groups which allows members who have common interests to find each other and interact. Events - which allows members to publicize an event : ici je dois vous avouer n’avoir pas compris pourquoi which ne marche pas. J’ai relu un peu les cours sur les pronoms relatifs mais là je vois pas … Pourriez-vous m’éclairer ?

It allows members to publicize an event, to invite guests and to track who planned to attend

Users of Facebook, Twitter and Google's mobile operating system, Android, are said to be particularly vulnerable

The company estimates that one of six links posted in Facebook pages are connected to malicious software.

However, in December 2008, the Supreme Court of the Australian Capital Territory ruled that Facebook was a valid protocol to serve court notices to defendants.

Enfin j’ai une dernière question : pour dire les dates en anglais on dit bien ( par exemple ) :

The first of April two thousand and twelve ?

Je vous remercie d’avance pour votre réponse

merci d'avance

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facemash on October 28, 2003.

Now, we are going to tell you about Mark Elliot Zuckerberg’s life (born on May 14, 1984)

Facebook is a popular free social networking website that allows registered users to create profiles, to upload photos and video, to send messages and to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues.

The site, which is available in 37 different languages, includes public features such as: Marketplace which allows members to post, read and respond to classified ads, Groups which allows members who have common interests to find each other and interact, Events which allows members to publicize an event. : ici je dois vous avouer n’avoir pas compris pourquoi which ne marche pas. J’ai relu un peu les cours sur les pronoms relatifs mais là je vois pas … Pourriez-vous m’éclairer ?

[Nova]

Rebonjour

Euh , donc c'est bien correct si on dit

The first of April two thousand and twelve ?

Merci d'avance

[Jean B]

Est-ce une manie chez toi de doubler la question, surtout quand elle est inutile ?

[Nova]

Bonjour,

Pardonnez-moi, mais votre réponse m'avait semblé ambiguë. Et puis d’après un proverbe chinois :

Celui qui pose une question risque cinq minutes d'avoir l'air bête. Celui qui ne pose pas de question restera bête toute sa vie.

Bref, je vous remercie pour toutes vos réponses et votre aide précieuse.