Essay About Privacy

[CarenHermy]

Hello everyone !

I made an essay about privacy. This is the following subject :

"Modern technology enables anyone to invae people's privacy. Does this worry you ? Explain"

Could you just let me know about my mistakes without correcting them ? Thank you in advance for your help. The remarks about my work are welcome because this could help me to improve my work.

Nowadays, people tend to be more and more interested in modern technology. It is true that it easily brings the knowledge and the information about everything. It also permits many things to make our lives easier; however, this evolution can prove itself to be scary. This has lead to a matter of privacy that is currently becoming important and grave because of modern technology. It is useful to consider that we can’t keep getting worried about this, but privacy is not as important as life itself.

We can approve that today, we can’t do anything without being observed. The instance of internet is interesting. Anybody can be able to know which websites we are on and this might be embarrassing or personal for some of us. Furthermore, the cameras in London give the sensation that we are always spied and people must feel frustrated in the end. This can be worrying because privacy is a right that everybody could take advantage of.

However, this matter is nothing compared to the happiness of living. Being alive and a good health is much more important than passing our time thinking of cameras that are having a look on us. Moreover, those can be advantageous because this modern technology was mainly made to protect people from danger. It can avoid terrible things like rapes or vandalism even if the sensation of being watched is unpleasant.

In a nutshell, we can conclude that privacy can worry people because others are able to spy everybody’s life. Nevertheless, it is nothing compared to the importance of being healthy and safe. It would be interesting to wonder if the installation of numerous cameras in France is a good idea.

[Jean B]

Hello,

Here is some help as required.

Nowadays, people tend to be more and more interested in modern technology. It is true that it easily brings the(le nom qui suit n'est pas déterminé) knowledge and the(idem) information about everything. It also permits many things to make our lives easier; however, this evolution can prove itself to be scary. This has lead(verbe irrégulier) to a matter of privacy that is currently becoming important and grave(impropriété de terme) because of modern technology. It is useful to consider that we can’t keep getting worried about this, but privacy is not as important as life itself.

We can approve that today we can’t do anything without being observed. The instance of internet is interesting. Anybody can be able to know which websites we are on and this might be embarrassing or personal(impropriété) for some of us. Furthermore, the cameras in London give the sensation that we are always spied and people must feel frustrated in the end. This can be worrying because privacy is a right that everybody could take advantage of.

However, this matter is nothing compared to the happiness of living. Being alive and a good health(à remplacer par l'adjectif) is much more important than passing(impropriété) our time thinking of cameras that are having a look on us. Moreover, those can be advantageous because this modern technology was mainly made to protect people from danger. It can avoid terrible things like rapes or vandalism even if the sensation of being watched is unpleasant.

In a nutshell, we can conclude that privacy can worry people because others are able to spy everybody’s life. Nevertheless, it is nothing compared to the importance of being healthy and safe. It would be interesting to wonder if the installation of numerous cameras in France is a good idea.

[CarenHermy]

Merci J'ai eu 17/20 à celui-ci sans avoir corrigé les fautes car je n'ai pas pu venir sur le net avant de rendre ma copie :-)

Merci à nouveau

[Jean B]

Merci J'ai eu 17/20 à celui-ci sans avoir corrigé les fautes car je n'ai pas pu venir sur le net avant de rendre ma copie :-)

Merci à nouveau

[yveslouis]

Bonjour.

Je trouve JRB bien sévère.

Pourtant, j'aurais corrigé aussi "...wonder <if> WHETHER..."

Serais-je, moi aussi, trop sévère ?

[Jean B]

Bonjour.

Je trouve JRB bien sévère.

Pourtant, j'aurais corrigé aussi "...wonder <if> WHETHER..."

Serais-je, moi aussi, trop sévère ?