Besoin D'aide Pour Une Relecture De Mon Thème D'anglais

[tnolad]

Bonjour,

Serait il possible que quelqu’un puisse jeter un coup d’oeil sur mon thème et me corrige les fautes que j’ai pu faire dans mon thème car j’ai des doutes sur certaines tournures et accords. Voici le texte que j’ai composé.

Since january 1^st, it’s forbidden smoking in restaurants, in pubs but also in nightclubs. I am a smoker that’s why I didn’t agree with this law. But today I am agree because I was in nightclub last Saturday and and I was surprised to find that it’s really pleasant to not smell cigarette ‘s smoke. Nowadays , it’s important to become aware of the danger of the cigarette for health. So I think this law was unavoidable and I find that the state had right to insist for a law. Now, I think the people will get used to this practical. The night-club’s manager constructed a room which is devoted for the smokers. Moreover , for the person who works in this place , and who isn’t a smoker, I think that it’s best condition to work. In the restaurant before , we could smell cigarette’s smoke when we ate. Now there isn’t risks . When , we pass in the street , we see people , in front of the pub , and we can say that the place of the terrace is becoming expensive. I think that this law can to do reduce the cigarette’s consumption because for example , when I was in nightclub , I didn’t want to enter in the room because because , there was a lot smoke and we couldn’t see the persons and so I didn’t smoke . The fight against smoking is a priority of public health: a regular smoker on two dies from tobacco and 5 000 persons are victims of passive tobacco addiction every year in France. However, I noticed since the application of the decree, there are many smokers who drop their butts on the ground on pavings. Indeed all the persons who put their cigarette in ashtrays throw them on sidewalks now.I think that at this moment, it is necessary to sensitize people on this fact.

Merci beaucoup par avance et bonne soirée à tout le monde.

[yveslouis]

Since january 1st, <it’s forbidden> smoking IS FORBIDDEN in restaurants, in pubs but also in nightclubs. I am a smoker that’s why I didn’t agree with this law. But today I <am> agree because I was in A nightclub last Saturday and <and> I was surprised to find that it’s really pleasant <to> not TO smell cigarette< ‘s> smoke. Nowadays , it’s important to become aware of the danger of the cigarette for health. So I think this law was unavoidable and I <find> THINK that the <state> GOVERNMENT <had> WAS right <to> IN insistING for a law. Now, I think <the> people will get used to this <practical> PRACTISE. The night<->club<’s> manager <constructed> HAD a room BUILT which is devoted for <the> smokers. Moreover , for the personS who work<s> in this place , and who <isn’t a> AREN'T smokerS, I think that it’s <best> BETTER WORKING conditionS <to work>. In the restaurant <before> , we could smell cigarette< ‘s> smoke <when> WHILE we <ate> WERE EATING. Now there is<n’t> NO risk<s> . When , we pass in the street , we see people , in front of the pub , and we can say that the place of the terrace is becoming expensive (???). I think that this law can <to> (Oh !!!) <do> reduce the CONSUMPTION OF cigarette<’>s <consumption> because for example , when I was in A nightclub , I didn’t want to enter <in> the room because <because, > there was a lot OF smoke and we couldn’t see the persons and so I didn’t smoke . The fight against smoking is a priority of public health: a regular smoker <on> OUT OF two dies from tobacco and 5 000 persons are victims of passive tobacco addiction every year in France. However, I HAVE noticed, since the application of the decree, THAT there are many smokers who drop their butts on the ground <on> OR paving<s>. Indeed all the persons who USED TO put their cigaretteS in ashtrays throw them on sidewalks now. I think that at this moment, it is necessary to <sensitize> TO MAKE people AWARE OF this fact.

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