Video application script

[Ruben97115]

Bonjour je suis en DUT GEA, soit BAC +2. On m'a demandé de réaliser une vidéo de candidature en anglais bien sur. J'aimerai avoir la correction de quelqu'un qui s'y connait bien dans le langage professionnel en Anglais. Je sais qu'il y a des termes à ne pas utiliser et qui sont en réalité des fautes récurrentes. Je suis ouvert à toutes suggestions et corrections. 

 

En vous remerciant par avance. 

Ci dessous mon script : 

 

VIDEO APPLICATION

 

Hello, my name is R... C... and I am 19 years old. I have a Bachelor's degree in Economics and Social Sciences, specializing in Social and Political Sciences, ab. Currently, I am training at the University Institute of Technology: a University Degree in Technology in Business and Administration Management, option :  Management of Organizations.

 

Profesional experiences.

 

In September 2017, I participated in a competition to create a fictitious company, of which I still serve as "President". This allowed me to learn to lead, inform, delegate and above all to organize myself.

 

Then in January 2019, I was an intern for a month at The Agricultural Credit in Luynes. I have had the opportunity to carry out independent missions, to take over the counter and the operations attached to it and to control loan files.

 

Currently, I am a sales partner at Carrefour SPDC since June 2019. I manage the return goods of the culture sector. I also help clients navigate the shelves to find books, video games, music and movies.

 

Skills

I master office software such as: word, powerpoint, excel, publisher. In addition, I use Photoshop professional version and sky business management.

 

Language levels: My English and Spanish are intermediate.

 

Extra-curricular

I have been cycling, canoeing and I have been passionate about aquariums for 4 years.

 

Personality

Dynamic, punctual and rigorous are qualities that I have developed throughout my schooling.

 

Key achievement

I set up a lighthouse renovation service within my father's professional activity. This service increased sales by 5%. 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

VIDEO APPLICATION

Hello, my name is R... C... and I am 19 years old.

I have a Bachelor's degree a school leaving certificate (baccalauréat) in Economics and Social Sciences, specializing in Social and Political Sciences, AB. <En majuscules si c'est la mention Currently, I am training at the University Institute of Technology polytechnic in order to get a University Degree in Technology in Business and Administration Management, option :  Management of Organizations.

>> bachelor's degree = licence

>> polytechnic = Institut Universitaire de Technologie

Professional experiences.

In September 2017, I took part in/participated in a competition to create a fictitious company, of which I still serve act as "President". This allowed me to learn how to lead, inform, delegate and above all to organize myself.

Then in January 2019, I was an intern a boarder for a month at The Agricultural Credit Crédit Agricole bank in Luynes. I have had the opportunity to carry out independent missions, to take over the counter and the operations attached to it and to control loan files.

>> intern, c'est uniquement quand on fait médecine

Currently, I am have been (*) a sales partner at Carrefour SPDC since June 2019. I manage the return goods of the culture sector. I also help clients navigate the shelves to find books, video games, music and movies.

>> (*) Il y a prolongement dans le présent de l'action commencée en juin => present perfect

Skills

I master office softwares such as: Word, Powerpoint, Excel, Publisher. In addition, I use Photoshop professional version and Sky business management.

Language levels: My English and Spanish are intermediate.

Extra-curricular

I have been cycling, canoeing and I have been passionate about had a passion for aquariums for 4 years.

Personality

Dynamism, punctuality and rigour are qualities that I have developed throughout my schooling.

>> Emploi de 3 noms puisque ce sont des qualités

Key achievement

I set up a lighthouse renovation service within my father's professional activity. This service increased sales by 5%. 

Tu penses encore trop en français !

Bonne chance pour ta vidéo.

[Ruben97115]

Merci beaucoup, je tâcherai de ne plus répéter ces fautes.