EO Bac-The idea of progress

[Aaseab]

Bonjour,

J'ai fait mon texte pour l'expression orale du bac pour le thème The idea of Progress et la notion Climate fiction.

Qu'en pensez vous? (notamment sur l'expression et si  mes parties sont completes)

The notion I am going to deal with is the idea of progress which refers to a forward movement and a gradual betterment to make the world a better place. It can be social, technical or scientific. In relation to the notion, the subject of my presentation will be Climate Fiction. A genre of novels which deals with imapct of climate change and global warming. It's often about a society in the future where, because of climate change, there is a point of non return. We may wonder to what extent has technological progress made an impact on our environment and what could be the solutions? I would first like to concentrate on the fact that technological progress made a bad impact on our environnment and then I will move on the good progress: technology could save us from the past error. To finish I will talk about the first thing to change if we want to make this world a better palce.

To begin, every days we can see on TV the results of progress on our planet: droughts, rises in températures, desertification, raise of the sea level or ice melting. All this happens because of the humans activities. To illustrate this idea I would like to refer to a movie, Waterworld of Kevin Costner were because of global warming, the ice caps melted, consequently, océans became too high. We can explain that by the fact that there is a greEnhouse effect provoqued by many things as cars, some factories and even spray cans. I think that today it has become vital to reduce carbons emissisons by using for example electrics cars or renewables énergies as photovoltaic or geothermal énergies. So we have to be carreful about our acts

In addition to this, we can hope that if the situation become un precendeted maybe that technology can save us. Perhaps by using renewable énergies or why not robots to make the situation better. It's what happen in the novel The Scorpions Rules of Erin Bow, in which 400 years in the future, after climate change, wars and diseases, an Artificial Intelligence , who saved manking tell us her story. But I think that even if it's a positiv progress we mussn't wait until we need an Artificial Intelligence to change things. Furthermore it' Dangerous because we don't know everything about robots and there is a lot of movies were the robots created by the humans revolt. For this reasons, we have to be careful and think about now and not only about the future.

To finish, I would like to talk about the most efficient solution for me. We have to make the people aware. Of course scientists have demonstrated the existence of greenhouse effect for example but a lot of people aren't really informed about it and some people don't even believe it as Donald Trump. For example, Leonardo di Caprio in his speech for the United Nations talks about the importance of the awareness. Because he's famous, people will be more convinced by what he says. Consequently they will be more interssted about what they can do to change the situation. For example if the people are aware the systems as the limitation of the use of carbon per person , as in the Carbon Diary of Saci LLoyd will be more easily applied. That's why before thinking to change the situaton we have to change the people's mentality.

To conclude, I would like to say that progress, even if it can make the world a better place for us, because our life are easyier, can too have bad conséquences on the environment. Maybe that we can change this by making more progress, by using robots for example but we mussnt wait until the situation become unprecendented to react. The first step is for me to make the people aware and to laern them that they can change the situation even if they haven't a lot of opportunity as our governments.We have to make the world a better place not only for us but a better place for all the future générations.

 

 

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonjour,

J'ai fait mon texte pour l'expression orale du bac pour le thème The idea of Progress et la notion Climate fiction.

Qu'en pensez-vous? (notamment sur l'expression et si  mes parties sont complètes)

Sauf rarissime exception, je n’interviens pas sur le fond ; la forme suffit à m’occuper !

The notion I am going to deal with is the idea of progress which refers to a forward movement and a gradual betterment to make the world a better place. It can be social, technical or scientific. In relation to the notion, the subject of my presentation will be Climate Fiction. A genre of novels which deals with x imapct of x climate change and global warming. It's often about a society in the future where, because of climate change, there is a point of non return. We may wonder to what extent has technological progress has made an impact on our environment and what could be the solutions could be. < wonder introduisant une question indirecte, l’ordre des mots doit rester celui d’une phrase déclarative/affirmative I would first like to concentrate on the fact that technological progress made < plutôt le present perfect a bad impact on our environnment and then I will move on the good progress: technology could save us from the past errors. To finish I will talk about the first thing to change if we want to make this world a better palce.

To begin, every < implique un singulier > days we can see on TV the results of progress on our planet: droughts, rises in températures, desertification, raise of the sea level or ice melting. All this happens because of the humans < adjectif INVARIABLE activities. To illustrate this idea I would like to refer to a movie, Waterworld of  by Kevin Costner were < in which, > je suppose because of global warming, the ice caps melted, consequently, océans level became too high. < As-tu déjà rencontré de nombreux mots d’anglais portant un accent ? We can explain that by the fact that there is a greenhouse effect caused/provoked by many things such as cars, some factories and even spray cans. I think that today it has become vital to reduce carbons emissions by using for example electrics cars or renewables énergies as photovoltaic or geothermal énergies. So we have to be carreful about our acts. < Là, tu accumules des fautes sur des notions de grammaire élémentaire et d’orthographe que je te laisse le soin de corriger toi-même.

In addition to this, we can hope that, if the situation become < Le sujet n’est-il pas singulier ? Donc ?  precendeted, < ??? < Ne disposerais-tu d'aucun dictionnaire ? maybe that technology can may/might save us. Perhaps by using renewable énergies < encore ! or why not robots to make the situation better. It's what happen in the novel The Scorpions Rules of Erin Bow, in which 400 years in the future, after climate change, wars and diseases, an Artificial Intelligence, who saved manking tell us her story. But I think that even if it's a positiv progress we mussn't wait until we need an Artificial Intelligence to change things. Furthermore it' Dangerous because we don't know everything about robots and there is a lot of movies were the robots created by the humans revolt. For this reasons, < Bravo pour l'accord ! we have to be careful and think about now and not only about the future.

To finish, I would like to talk about the most efficient solution for according to me. We have to make the people aware. Of course scientists have demonstrated the existence of greenhouse effect for example but a lot of people aren't really informed about it and some people don't even believe it as Donald Trump. For example, Leonardo di Caprio in his speech for the United Nations talks about the importance of the awareness. Because he's famous, people will be more convinced by what he says. Consequently they will be more interssted about what they can do to change the situation. For example if the people are made aware, the such systems as the limitation of limiting the use of carbon per person, as in the Carbon Diary of Saci LLoyd will be more easily applied. That's why before thinking to change of changing the situaton we have to change the people's minds/mentalities.

To conclude, I would like to say that progress, even if it can make the world a better place for us, because our life are easyier, can too also have bad conséquences on the environment. Maybe that we can change this by making more progress, by using robots for example but we mussnt wait until the situation become unprecendented to react. The first step is for me to make the people aware and to laern < La différence de sens entre learn et teach ? > teach them that they can change the situation even if they haven't a lot of opportunities as our governments. We have to make the world a better place not only for us but a better place for all the future générations. < Es-tu conscient que tu écris en anglais ?

Au boulot !

NB Rectifie ta classe dans ton profil, tu n’es plus en seconde.

 

[Aaseab]

Merci beaucoup pour votre aide precieuse