Relecture CV

[Mody23]

Bonjour, 
Je suis en train de créer mon CV en anglais et j'aimerais savoir si celui-ci est correct. Mon problème est que pour plusieurs éléments de mon CV je ne trouve pas d'équivalent en anglais. J'ai donc peur d'avoir traduit du mot pour mot ou de ne pas utiliser les bons termes et que finalement cela n'ait aucun sens en anglais. Par exemple : un service civique, le PSC1, le défenseur des droits ou encore le Brevet de Surveillant de Baignade ... J'aimerais donc avoir vos avis  
 

Merci d'avance.

Professional skills
• Educational methods
• Teamwork and partnership
• Professional discretion
• Administrative management
• Needs assessment
• Project development
• Collective action
• Deductive skills and analytical mind

Qualifications
• English ( B1 level )
• Internet
• Computer tool 

Interest
• Sport : basketball, tennis, running, bodybuilding, swimming
• Outdoor activities : rollerblade, cycling, amusement park ...
• Volunteer work on sporting and solidarity events
• Travel, tourism, cultural discovery

Education
December 2016 Civic values training
(2 days) With xxx association 

November 2016 First Aid and CPR Certification

October 2016 Chlldren's rights training course 
(1 month) With the rights defender

June 2015 Bachelor's Degree in educational sciences, with honours at XXXXX University
Module included : « education, social work, health and disability »

April 2015 Lifeguard qualification

June 2011 British A-level in Health and social sciences, with honours at XXXXXXX high School

Work experience

Education adviser
November to At XXXXXX Hight School  
December 2017  
- surveillance and supervisory
- administrative management
- educational support 

Ambassadress of children's rights,
In civic service with the rights defender

October 2016 to In primary school, middle school, welfare centres,
June 2017 leisure centres (youth centre)

- cold calling
- diary management 
- working collaboration 
- activity creation for children
- writting activity report
- sterring group participation 

Group leader, health assistant and lifeguard

August 2017 Holiday abroad in Greece, Agence nature
July 2017 Holiday abroad in England, Agence nature
August 2016 Youth centre, with The education league
July 2016 Holiday abroad in Greece, with Cousins
July 2015 Camping holidays, with xxx
June 2015 Youth centre, with xxx

- daily life organisation
- group management and animation 
- sporting and cultural activities
- swimming spot organisation
- medical monitoring

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Seulement quelques petits détails où les ? indiquent soit des corrections ou suggestions en vert, soit mon incompréhension en rouge.

Bonjour, 
Je suis en train de créer mon CV en anglais et j'aimerais savoir si celui-ci est correct. Mon problème est que pour plusieurs éléments de mon CV je ne trouve pas d'équivalent en anglais. J'ai donc peur d'avoir traduit du mot pour mot ou de ne pas utiliser les bons termes et que finalement cela n'ait aucun sens en anglais. Par exemple : un service civique, le PSC1, le défenseur des droits ou encore le Brevet de Surveillant de Baignade ... J'aimerais donc avoir vos avis  
 

Merci d'avance.

Professional skills
• Educational methods
• Teamwork and partnership
• Professional discretion
• Administrative management
• Needs assessment
• Project development
• Collective action
• Deductive skills and analytical mind

Qualifications
• English ( B1 level )
• Internet
• Computer tool  < ?  Si tu as une bonne maîtrise de l’outil informatique, tu pourrais écrire (I am) Good with computers, tout simplement.

Interest
• Sport : basketball, tennis, running, bodybuilding, swimming
• Outdoor activities : rollerblade, cycling, amusement park ...
• Volunteer work on sporting and solidarity events
• Travel, tourism, cultural discovery

Education
December 2016 Civic values training
(2 days) with xxx association 

November 2016 First-aid and CPR certification

October 2016 Children's rights training course 
(1 month) with the rights defender

June 2015 Bachelor's honours degree in educational sciences at XXXXX university
Module included : « education, social work, health and disability »

April 2015 Lifeguard qualification

June 2011 British A-level in health and social sciences, with honours at XXXXXXX high school

Work experience

Education adviser
From November to December 2017 < ? at XXXXXX high school  

- surveillance and supervisory post = poste de surveillante
- administrative management
- educational support 

Ambassadress of children's rights representative,
in civic service with the rights defender

From October 2016 to June 2017 < ? in primary school, middle school, welfare centres,
leisure centres (youth centre)

- cold calling
- diary management 
- working collaboration 
- activity creation for children
- writing activity report
- sterring < ? group participation 

Group leader, health assistant and lifeguard

August 2017 Holiday abroad in Greece, Agence nature
July 2017 Holiday abroad in England, Agence nature
August 2016 Youth centre, with The education league
July 2016 Holiday abroad in Greece, with cousins
July 2015 Camping holidays, with xxx
June 2015 Youth centre, with xxx

- daily life organization
- group management and animation leadership
- sporting and cultural activities
- swimming spot organization
- medical monitoring

 

 

 

[Mody23]

Super Merci !! 

Sur les passages que vous n'avez pas compris de voulais dire :

- de novembre à décembre 2017 ( j'ai traduit par " from november to december 2017" ?)

- "sterring group participation" , je voulais dire "participation à des comités de pilotage" mais en recherchant à nouveau le bon terme est plutôt " participation in steering committee" 

Pourrais-je avoir également une relecture de mon texte suivant ? merci beaucoup. 

 

I'm currently studying for the first year of a master's degree in sciences of education.

I have a bachelor's degree in sciences of education during which I've work on different themes in linked with education, children disability and academic system organisation.

I intervened in both primary and secondary education during my various professional experience as school monitor or during work placement. 

Moreover, I work regularly as a school holidays organiser in various organisation welcoming young people.

It allow me to acquire many skills and particularly learnt how to adapt my speech to the audience, to communicate and work with different partners or to create and implement interactive and playful activities.

In my private life, I'm volunteer on sporting and solidarity events or during local events.

I like to spend time with people and participate at local festivals and sports events. I also like to practice sport activities and discover new things.

I traveled in England and in Greece twice during holidays abroad with teenagers. ( est ce bien comme cela que l'on dit : “ je suis partie en Angleterre et deux fois en grèce lors de séjours avec des jeunes” ?)

For my fist travel in Greece, I've done a cruise with two other organisers and with teenagers during summer. We was living on a boat and every day we discover a new island. 

In my second travel, we lived for 3 weeks on a Greece island and we did a lot of nautical activities.

And I've also travel in England and visit several town to discover English culture and its lifestyle.

As I say previously, I usually go abroad on summer. And during my academic years i've lived in my own flat next to the university.

First, I would like to participate in EVS project to discover another culture and develop my linguistic abilities I would like to share my experience and exchange about education methods, and i think that a EVS is a good way to meet new people and new friends and to discover new things. 

I think at the beginning the biggest difficulty will be the language but I really want to improve and learn this language.

I'm not afraid about living in a foreign country because during my previous trips I didn't have time to discover all the wealth of the countries that I visited. So, I would like to stay for several months in the same country ti have the time to immerse myself in its culture.

I am someone organised and orderly for my business, bur when I live with other people, I like that everyone participate in order to the common parts aren't messy. 

I can drive a car and maybe mine (if it's possible) to be autonomous but otherwise I like playing activities and sharing time with other people. And I don't have any inconvenience to move by walking or by bike !!

This projects deals with education and that's the domaine which interest me. It's a new work experience which allow me sharing ideas and experience. I would like to work in education with children or teenager but not as teacher at school. That's why I'm very interesting about working in an innovative and inspirational outdoor environment. In addition, I lived in a rural areas and I particularly like outdoor activities. 

Thanks to my experiences, I have good interpersonal skills with children. I have also developed educational skills in various contexts, using games or activities for example.

I was group leader in different organisations. So I'have already worked with children 3 years up to 18 years old teenagers. I learnt how to make adapted activities according to the age of children and the environment. During summer camps I learned how to take care of the acts of daily life with children and to take care of their requests.

I think the main qualities for working with children is to be patient, appreciate human contact but it also important to be able to show authority when it is necessary.

During this period, I would like to discover an other culture and develop my linguistic abilities but also, to discover and exchange about educational methods. 

This experience would allow me to put into practice all the skills that I acquired up to now, while acquiring and developing new knowledge and a broader vision of the educational environment and work with children.

I'm very motivated to participate to his project because it is really in connection with my professional project and I think it will be a real enrichment for me.

[Jean B]

Il y a 18 heures, Mody23 a dit :

Super Merci !! 

Sur les passages que vous n'avez pas compris de voulais dire :

- de novembre à décembre 2017 ( j'ai traduit par " from november to december 2017" ?) < Tu es sûre que c'est toi ? Relis ton premier texte et compare le avec ma réponse !

- "sterring group participation" , je voulais dire "participation à des comités de pilotage" mais en recherchant à nouveau le bon terme est plutôt " participation in steering committee" < Là, je suis d'accord. Moralité : relis-toi toujours attentivement, personne n'est à l'abri d'une faute de frappe.

Pourrais-je avoir également une relecture de mon texte suivant ? merci beaucoup. < OK mais plus tard.

 

[Jean B]

I am currently studying for the first year of a master's degree in sciences of education. < Pas de contraction verbale dans ce type de lettre.

I have a bachelor's degree in sciences of education during which I have worked < present perfect on different themes in linked with education, children disability and academic system organization.

I intervened in both primary and secondary schools/education during my various professional experience as a school monitor or during work placement. 

Moreover, I work regularly as a school holidays organizer in various organizations welcoming young people. < Sauf erreur, tu écris en anglais britannique dont il faut respecter l'orthographe.

It allow The job enables me to acquire many skills and particularly I learnt how to adapt my speech to the audience, to communicate and work with different partners or to create and implement interactive and playful activities.

In my private life, I am volunteer on sporting and solidarity events or during local events.

I like to spend time with people and participate at take part in local festivals and sports events. I also like to do sport/practise sport activities and discover new things.

I travelled in England and in Greece twice during holidays abroad with teenagers. < redondance puisque Angleterre + Grèce = étranger

For my fist travel in Greece, I've done < C’est du passé révolu = prétérit > went on a cruise with two other organizers and (with) teenagers during the summer. We was < sujet pluriel > were living on a boat and every day we discovered a new island.  << Vivre à bord d’un navire en croisière, ça s’apparente à une lapalissade !

In During my second travel, we lived for 3 weeks on a Greece Greek  island and we did a lot of nautical water-based recreational activities.

And I have also travelled in England and visited several towns to discover the English culture and its lifestyle. < Quel cumul  en une seule phrase !

-       On ne commence jamais une phrase écrite par un connecteur logique, c’est grammaticalement fautif.

-       Le present perfect pour établir le bilan actuel d’un résultat lié à un évènement du passé.

-       Il ne s’agit pas d’une culture quelconque mais de la culture anglaise =>> déterminant.

As I say < On ne dit rien par écrit ! > mentioned/wrote previously, I usually go abroad on in the summer and during my < Elles ne t’appartiennent pas > the academic years I have lived in my own flat next to the university.

First, I would like to participate take part in the European Voluntary Service project to discover another culture and develop my linguistic abilities. Nouvelle phrase > I would like to share my experience and exchange about educational methods and so i < fatiguée ? > I think that a EVS is a good way to meet new people and new friends and to discover new things. 

I think at the beginning that the biggest difficulty at the beginning will be the language but I really want to improve and learn this language so as to become fluent.

I am not afraid about of living in a foreign country because during my previous trips I did not have time to discover all the wealth of the countries that I visited. So I would like to stay for several months in the same country to have the enough time to immerse myself in its culture.

I am someone organized and orderly for my business but, when I live with other people, I like that everyone participate to take part in order to so that the common parts are not left messy/untidy. 

I can drive a car and maybe mine (if it is possible) to be autonomous independent but otherwise I like playing activities and sharing time with other people. And I don't have any inconvenience no objection to move by walking or by biking!

This projects deals with education and that's it is the field/domain which interests me. It would be a new work experience which allow < C’est encore de l’irréel = conditionnel > would enable me to share ideas and experience. I would like to work in education with children or teenagers but not as a teacher at school. That is why I would be < encore le conditionnel de convenance very interested < intéressée, pas intéressante about working to work in an innovative and inspirational outdoor environment. In addition, I lived in a rural areas and I particularly like outdoor activities. 

Thanks to my past experience, I have good interpersonal skills with children. I have also developed educational skills in various contexts, using games or activities for example.

I was a group leader in different organizations. So I also have already worked with 3 year-old children up to 18 year-old teenagers. I learnt how to make adapted activities according to the age of children and the environment. During summer camps I learned how to take care of the acts of daily life with children and to take care of their requests.

I think the main qualities for working with children is to be patient, < Le sujet est pluriel > are patience appreciate and human contact but it is also important to be able to show authority when it is necessary.

During this period, I would like to discover another culture and develop my linguistic abilities but also (to) discover and exchange about educational methods. 

This experience would allow enable me to put into practice all the skills that I acquired up to now while acquiring and developing new knowledge and a broader vision of the educational environment and work with children.

I am very motivated to participate to take part in this project because it is really in connection with my professional project future prospects and I think it will would be a real personal enrichment for me.

Conseil que j’ai répété ici des centaines de fois :

-       ne jamais écrire un laïus d’abord en français pour le «traduire » ensuite. C’est contradictoire puisque les deux langues n’obéissent pas aux mêmes règles syntaxiques ni lexicales. Sauf erreur de ma part, j'ai l'impression que c'est ce que tu as fait.

-       oublier la langue maternelle pour écrire directement dans la langue étrangère après avoir mobilisé ses connaissances sera toujours beaucoup plus authentique, même si le résultat est entaché de fautes.

Bonne chance pour ton projet.

 

 

[Mody23]

Merci beaucoup pour votre aide et pour vos explications détaillées sur mes erreurs. J'en prends notes pour mes prochains documents