Oral - Progress

[adrin2]

Bonjour à tous ! J'ai mon oral ce vendredi aimerais savoir si vous pourriez m'aider à corriger ma présentation. Je vous remercie par avance ! 

INTRODUCTION: 
The notion I’m going to speak about is progress, first of all I’m going to define this notion: the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place.
In order to illustrate this notion, I’ve chosen to talk about women’s rights, my presentation will deal with this question:
How have the rights of women evolved? / How have women's rights evolved?
At first, I will talk about the inequality between men and women in the past, then about the fights for women rights, and finally I will deal about the situation today.

I-    Women's rights in the 16th century

The first document is an extract from the book “The Taming of the Shrew” by Shakespeare dating back to 1593. This text exposes a misogynist vision of society, in which there is no equality between men and women and they are totally submitted to their husbands. What is surprising here is that this monologue is uttered by woman who teaches, advises other women and who praises the power of men. But her speech appears very unnatural because she exaggerates the details of women's submission. she is actually saying what their husbands want to hear. This speech can be ironic. With this extract we understand that women did not have rights at that time.

II-    The fights for women's rights: The suffragettes

At the end of the nineteenth century women had no place in national politics. Women have been considered to be inferior than men, their roles were seen to be childrearing and taking care of home and considered as intellectually subordinates as we show the poster “A women’s Mind is Magnified”. That’s why in 1903 the creation by Emmeline Pankhurst, of the Women’s social and political union WSPU, where she encouraged women to speak up against male domination.
The suffragettes used demonstrations and violent actions as arson attacks, window-breaking for to obtain the right to vote. These actions of suffragettes were repressed and they were sent to prison. Aber few women dared to commit to the cause for fear of their husbands’ and neighbour’s reactions. Indeed, in 1928 the conditions of votes become the same for men and women which marks a social progress in UK. So, the suffragette’s movement allowed numerous progress for the women in UK

III-    And now?

The rights of women have progressed, today almost every country in the world women have the right to vote, women have the same rights as men and they are equal. However, many progress remains to be accomplished particularly about wages and sexual harassment. 
In 2017, after the scandal Weinstein, Time has chosen women “Person of the year”. The cover represents all women in the world. This cover give hope to certain women that, change is possible when they make her voice heard. It’s a progress against women harassment.

CONCLUSION: To conclude, for centuries, women rights have evolved, many countries in the world defend women’s rights but it remains progress to be made in different areas as wages, sexism or harassment. We may wonder what will be the future struggles for women's rights?

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Bonjour à tous ! J'ai mon oral ce vendredi aimerais savoir si vous pourriez m'aider à corriger ma présentation. Je vous remercie par avance ! 

INTRODUCTION: 
The notion I’m going to speak about is progress, first of all I’m going to define this notion: the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change, a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place.
In order to illustrate this notion, I’ve chosen to talk about women’s rights, my presentation will deal with this question:
How have the rights of women evolved? / How have women's rights evolved?
At first, I will talk about the inequality between men and women in the past, then about the fights for women rights, and finally I will deal about the situation today.

I-    Women's rights in the 16th century

The first document is an extract from the book “The Taming of the Shrew” by Shakespeare dating back to 1593. This text exposes a misogynist vision of society in which there is no equality between men and women and they who are totally submitted to their husbands. What is surprising here is that this monologue is uttered by a woman who teaches, advises other women and who praises the power of men. But her speech appears very unnatural because she exaggerates the details of women's submission. She is actually saying what their husbands want to hear. This speech can be ironic. With this extract we understand that women did not have rights at that time.

II-    The fights for women's rights: The suffragettes

At the end of the nineteenth century women had no place in national politics. Women have been were considered to be inferior than to men, their roles were seen to be limited/restricted to childrearing and taking care of home and considered as intellectually subordinates as we show shown on/by the poster “A women’s Mind is Magnified”. That’s why in 1903 the creation by Emmeline Pankhurst, of the Women’s social and political union WSPU, where she encouraged women to speak up against male domination.
The suffragettes used demonstrations and violent actions as arson attacks, window-breaking for   to obtain the right to vote. < As-tu besoin d'une explication ?  These actions of suffragettes were repressed and they were sent to prison. A few women dared to commit to the cause for fear of their husbands’ and neighbour’s reactions. Indeed, in 1928 the conditions of votes became the same for men and women, which marks a social progress in the UK. So, the suffragette’s movement allowed numerous progress for the women in the UK.

III-    And now What about nowadays? = Et aujourd’hui/de nos jours ?

The rights of women have progressed, today in almost every country in the world women have the right to vote, women have the same rights as men and they are equal. However, many progress remains to be accomplished particularly about wages and sexual harassment. 
In 2017, after the scandal (1) Weinstein scandal, Time has chosen (2) chose women “Person of the year”. The cover represents all women in the world. This cover gives  < Relis-toi toujours hope to certain women that change is possible when they make her (3) their voices heard. It’s a progress against women harassment.

(1) Dans un nom composé de nom + nom, celui des deux qui qualifie l’autre et prend donc valeur d’adjectif épithète se place naturellement DEVANT.

(2)  Même si c’est récent, 2017 c’est du passé révolu = prétérit.

(3)  L’adjectif possessif doit être accordé en nombre avec le sujet possesseur = 3^ème personne du pluriel.

CONCLUSION: To conclude, for centuries, women rights have evolved, many countries in the world defend women’s rights but it remains there is still progress to be made in different areas as wages, sexism or harassment. We may wonder what will be the future struggles for women's rights will be. <to wonder what… = se demander ce que/ce qui… établit une question indirecte dont la construction doit rester celle d’une déclarative/affirmative, surtout pas interrogative car what est pronom relatif ici, pas interrogatif.

Bonne chance pour ton oral.

 

 

 

 

[adrin2]

Hello JRB,

Thank you so much for your corrections and very important advices! 

 

[Jean B]

My pleasure!