Relecture lettre de motivation

[Mody23]

Bonjour,

J'ai rédigé une lettre de motivation pour faire une candidature en tant qu'assistant de langue au Royaume-Uni et j'aimerais qu'elle soit relue avant d'être envoyée. Pouvez-vous m'aider à la corriger ?

Merci !! 

 

Dear Madam, Sir,

Holder of a Bachelor's degree in Sciences of education and currrently in my fist year of Master degree, I submit you my candidature to integrate assistant program of french language in the United Kingdom.

Strong of my school course and my various professional experiences, I was able to integrate for several periods both primary and secondary education and be in contact with children and teenagers. Indeed, I work regularly for school holidays as organiser in various structures welcoming young poeple. I also intervened for nine months, during a civic service with the rights Defender, in colleges with 6^th and 5^th grade classes to promote and educate students about children's rights.

During this one, I acquired many competences and particularly how to adapt my interventions to the public, to communicate and work with different parners or to creat and implement interactive and playful animations, which is for me, a real asset for this post. My academic background also brought me many knowlegde of educational environment and new technologies that I use regularly for my studies.

So, I decided to apply for United Kingdom because on the one hand, it is the second language that I practice since the beginning of my schooling and that I use during my travelling abroard. And on the other hand, I had the opportunity to go to England for several times and I particularly appreciate the lifestyle and the cultural wealth of this country. That's why I chose East Sussex as my first regional choise for the richness of its natural spaces which attract me particularly and its proximity with Brighton and London cities, Essex Country as second choise and Wales because it is a rich historical and culural territory.

During this year as language assistant, i would like not only to discover another culture and develop my linguistic abilities, but also to discover new pedagogies and teaching practices. That would allow me, moreover, to apply all my competences acquired up to now while acquiring and developing new knowledge and a broader vision of educational environment and teaching. Organized by nature, dynamic and appreciating human contact, this new experience would be a personnel and professional enrichment for me.

Thank you for your interest in my candidacy and please accept, Madam, Sir, my best regards.

[Jean B]

 

Bonjour,

Sans vouloir te défriser et même si l'anglais n'est que ta seconde langue, tu es tombée dans le travers qui consiste à écrire tout ton laïus d'abord en français pour ensuite le " traduire ". On voit d'emblée le résultat que ça donne.

J'ai fait du mieux possible pour redonner à ta lettre une forme qui soit à la fois plus pragmatique tout en conservant ton fond, pas facile !

J'espère que ton séjour te permettra de faire la remise à niveau indispensable.

Bonne chance pour ton poste d'assistante.

 

Il y a 4 heures, Mody23 a dit :

Bonjour,

J'ai rédigé une lettre de motivation pour faire une candidature en tant qu'assistant de langue au Royaume-Uni et j'aimerais qu'elle soit relue avant d'être envoyée. Pouvez-vous m'aider à la corriger ?

Merci !! 

 

Dear Sir or Madam,

Holder of Having a bachelor's degree in sciences of education and currrently studying in my for the first year of a master's  degree, I submit you my candidature to integrate wish to apply for assistant program a position of French language assistant in the United Kingdom.

Strong of Armed with my school course and my various professional experience, I was able to integrate for several periods join both primary and secondary education for several periods and be in contact with children and teenagers. Indeed, I work regularly for school holidays as a school holidays organiser in various structures organizations/facilities welcoming young people. I also intervened played a part for nine months, during a civic service with the rights defender, in colleges secondary schools with 6^th first form and 5^th second form pupils grade classes to promote and educate students about children's rights.

During this one that period I acquired many competences skills and I particularly learnt how to adapt my interventions speech to the audience/public, to communicate and work with different partners or to create and implement interactive and playful animations activities, which is for me a real asset for this post. My academic background also provided/brought me many a good/deep knowledge of educational environment and new technologies that I use regularly for my studies.

So I decided to apply for the United Kingdom because, on the one hand, it is the second language that I have been practice using since the beginning of my schooling I started studying/school and that I use during my travelling abroad. And on the other hand, I had the opportunity to go to England for several times and I particularly appreciate the lifestyle and the cultural wealth of this country. That's why I chose East Sussex as my first regional choice for the richness of its natural areas/spaces which attract me particularly and its proximity with Brighton and London cities, Essex Country as a second choice and Wales because it is a rich historical and cultural territory.

During this year as a language assistant, I would like not only to discover not only another culture and develop my linguistic abilities but also (to) discover new pedagogies educational methods and teaching practices. Moreover that would allow me moreover to apply put into practice all my competences the skills that I acquired up to now while acquiring and developing new knowledge and a broader vision of the educational environment and teaching.

Being organized by nature, dynamic and appreciating human contact, this new experience would be a personal and professional enrichment for to me.

Thank you for your interest in my candidacy application. and please accept, Madam, Sir, my best regards.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Signature

 

 

[Mody23]

Oui effectivement, j'ai du rédiger ma lettre en français et en anglais j'ai donc essayé de la traduire sans pour autant faire du mot pour mot, mais je sais que j'ai encore beaucoup de progrès à faire !!

En tout cas merci pour votre réponse !!