Bac / expression orale : myths and heroes / correction

[NoctisX55]

Bonsoir,

je souhaiterais que quelqu'un puisse corriger mon texte, s'il vous plaît. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui m'aideront! Néanmoins je tiens à préciser que l'ensemble des expressions orales que je vais postés seront sur les noirs vu qu'on a surtout étudié des documents portant sur leurs situation avant et après le CRM. Mais également afin de pouvoir me concentre sur un seul thème et ainsi avoir la meilleur note possible. De ce fait il y aura énormément de copier-coller de d'autres expressions orales, je signalerai ces dernières en les écrivant en vert.

 

I am going talk about myths and heroes. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: myths and heroes can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief, a tradition or a false notion. A hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon. In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen 3 documents, that show an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King.

How can an ordinary person make the world a better place?

 

The first document is a collection of various articles. This collection is about the situation of Blacks before and during the Civil Rights Movement. In 1896, when the "Jim Crow Laws" were legalized, the Blacks were segregated. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Moreover the members of some organizations, like the Ku-Klux-Klan, organized lynchings against them. They believed in the innate inferiority of the black race. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the Civil Rights Movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Indeed, during March on Washington in 1963, he gave a dream to everybody, a dream named equality. This dream gave hope to a better future, where " black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Even when he accepts the nobel in 1964, he refers to the dramatic events that took place in 1963 in Birminghan. He explains that the Civil Rights Movement deserves to be rewarded because of the way it struggles against violence and injustice. Through this information the author wants to show us that Martin Luther King led the Civil Rights Movement in order to make his dream a reality.

The second document is an autobiographical work by Sidney Poitier. This autobiographical work is about the segregation of the blacks. Poitier tell us that one of his first assignments as a delevery boy was to deliver a package to a wealthy white family. But when he went to deliver the package, he was told to "get around to the back door where" he "belong". Nevertheless he didn't understand why he had to go the back door, and when he extended the package, he was shut the door in his face. Moreover when he came home, he saw his family terrified because of the Ku-Klux-Klan that had been there looking for him.Through this information the author wants to show us the segreagation and the violence underwent by the Blacks.

Finally the third document, I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation and particularly with their growths. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after the Civil Right Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So they are more educated than ever before and their community Is not so much connected to lower income. jn Moreover by the 90s, middle class Black American communities had become well established. Communities such as South Dekalb and Baldwin Hills sprung up across the country and are still growing today. Through this information the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Right Movement.

 

Finally these documents make us realize that Martin Luther King contributed to an improvement in rights for Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since he stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. Thus , for men Martin Luther King is a hero. When whites were thought to be superior to all other races, and segregate the Blacks, he stood up for the blacks' community, and decided to change the world. Nevertheless these document could also be linked with the notion of Idea of Progress since they show an improvement of the world.

 

Petite erreur que j'ai remarqué en me relisant: Thus , for men Martin

Par contre je voudrais avoir votre avis sur le développement du 2e document, j'ai l'impression de l'avoir mal fait. Néanmoins je ne peut pas le rendre plus long sinon je ne rentrerais pas dans le temps impartis lors de l'oral...

 

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

"[Bonsoir,

je souhaiterais que quelqu'un puisse corriger mon texte, s'il vous plaît. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui m'aideront ! Néanmoins je tiens à préciser que l'ensemble des expressions orales que je vais postésr seront sur les noirs vu qu'on a surtout étudié des documents portant sur leurs situation avant et après le CRM. Mais également afin de pouvoir me concentrer sur un seul thème et ainsi avoir la meilleur note possible. De ce fait il y aura énormément de copier-coller de d'autres expressions orales, je signalerai ces dernières en les écrivant en vert.]"

I am going talk about myths and heroes. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: myths and heroes can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief, a tradition or a false notion. A hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon. In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen 3 documents that show an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King.

How can an ordinary person make the world a better place?

 

The first document is a collection of various articles. This collection is about the situation of Blacks before and during the Civil Rights Movement. In 1896, when the "Jim Crow Laws" were legalized, the Blacks were segregated. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Moreover the members of some organizations, like the Ku-Klux-Klan, organized lynchings against them. They believed in the innate inferiority of the black race. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the Civil Rights Movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Indeed, during the March on Washington in 1963, he gave everybody a dream, a dream named equality. This dream gave hope to a better future, where " black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Even when he accepts the nobel in 1964, he refers to the dramatic events that took place in 1963 in Birminghan. He explains that the Civil Rights Movement deserves to be rewarded because of the way it struggles against violence and injustice. Through this information the author wants to show us that Martin Luther King led the Civil Rights Movement in order to make his dream a reality.

The second document is an autobiographical work by Sidney Poitier. This autobiographical work It is about the segregation of the blacks. Poitier tells us that one of his first assignments as a delevery boy was to deliver a package to a wealthy white family. But when he went to deliver the package, he was told to "get around to the back door where" he "belonged". <Concordance des temps Nevertheless he didn't understand why he had to go to the back door, and when he extended held out the package, he was shut the door in his face. Moreover when he came home, he saw his family terrified because of the Ku-Klux-Klan that had been there looking for him.Through this information the author wants to show us the segreagation and the violence underwent by the Blacks.

Finally the third document, I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation and particularly with their growths. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after the Civil Rights Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So they are more educated than ever before and their community Is not so much connected to lower income.  Moreover by the 90s, middle class Black American communities had become well established. Communities such as South Dekalb and Baldwin Hills sprung up across the country and are still growing today. Through this information the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement.<Tu n'as toujours pas intégré ce pluriel !

 

Finally these documents make us realize that Martin Luther King contributed to an improvement in rights for Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since he stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. Thus, to me Martin Luther King is a hero. When whites were thought to be superior to all other races and segregated the Blacks, he stood up for the blacks' community and decided to change the world. Nevertheless these documents could also be linked with the notion of idea of progress since they show an improvement of the world.

 

Good job, as usual.

 

Petite erreur que j'ai remarquée en me relisant: Thus, for men Martin

Par contre je voudrais avoir votre avis sur le développement du 2e document, j'ai l'impression de l'avoir mal fait. Néanmoins je ne peutx pas le rendre plus long sinon je ne rentrerais pas dans le temps impartis lors de l'oral...

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,

ben je ne sais quoi dire si ce n'est un énorme merci pour votre aide ! Qui plus est ce n'est pas la première fois ^^.

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne journée!

[Jean B]

C'est d'autant plus plaisant de lire du bon anglais que c'est rare...

[NoctisX55]

En même c'est grâce à vous que j'ai pu produire ce bon anglais ^^ .

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,

je souhaiterais, une nouvelle fois, demander votre aide afin de corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît. Lorsque je l'ai envoyé, par mail, à ma prof. elle m'a donné quelques recommandations afin de l'améliorer.

 

I am going talk about myths and heroes. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: myths and heroes can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief, a tradition or a false notion. A hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her achievements, a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon. In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen 3 documents that show an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King.

How can an ordinary person make the world a better place?

 

The first document is a collection of various articles. This collection is about the situation of Blacks before and during the Civil Rights Movement. In 1896, when the "Jim Crow Laws" were legalized, the Blacks were segregated. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Moreover the members of some organizations, like the Ku-Klux-Klan, organized lynchings against them. They believed in the innate inferiority of the black race. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the Civil Rights Movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Its strategies were based on nonviolent actions like boycotts, marches and sit-ins. Thus the author shows us the oppression undergone by the Blacks.

The second document, I have chosen is the speech I have a dream of Martin Luther King. His speech, delivered from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, is considered as one of the best speeches ever given. Indeed, from the beginning, he explained the oppression undergone by the Blacks to the world. Moreover he underlined that this situation isn't the wish of the nation's forefathers and in particular of Lincoln. He insisted that “all people are created equal and, although not the case in America at the time, he felt it must be the case for the future.”(là ça vient d'un des sites que j'ai consulté). Thus, during the March on Washington in 1963, he gave everybody a dream, a dream named equality. This dream gave hope to a better future, where " black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness"

Finally the third document, I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation and particularly with their growths. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after the Civil Rights Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So they are more educated than ever before and their community Is not so much connected to lower income. Through this information the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement.

 

Finally these documents make us realize that Martin Luther King contributed to an improvement in the rights of Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since he stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. Thus, to me Martin Luther King is a hero. When whites were thought to be superior to all other races and segregated the Blacks, he stood up for the blacks' community and decided to change the world. And now his speeches, his actions became a myth that all people in the world know, even Barack Obama, 50 years after the speech I have a dream, commend the work of Martin Luther King.

Nevertheless these documents could also be linked with the notion of the idea of progress since they show an improvement of the world.

 

[Jean B]

 

Bonjour, jeune voisin catalan.

Il y a 4 heures, NoctisX55 a dit :

Bonjour,

je souhaiterais, une nouvelle fois, demander votre aide afin de corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît. Lorsque je l'ai envoyé, par mail, à ma prof. elle m'a donné quelques recommandations afin de l'améliorer.

 

I am going to talk about myths and heroes. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion: myths and heroes can be defined as a story about gods or heroes, it can be a popular belief, a tradition or a false notion. A hero can be a mythological figure, a person who is admired for his or her / their / achievements, a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon. In order to illustrate this notion I have chosen 3 documents that show an improvement of the blacks' situation thanks to Martin Luther King.

How can an ordinary person make the world a better place?

 

The first document is a collection of various articles. This collection is about the situation of Blacks before and during the Civil Rights Movement. In 1896, when the "Jim Crow Laws" were legalized, the Blacks were segregated. They didn't have the right to use the same bathrooms, buses, restaurants … in other words the same public accommodations as the Whites. Worse they couldn't freely use the right to vote, to win protection against intimidation and violence. Moreover the members of some organizations, like the Ku-Klux-Klan, organized lynchings against them. They believed in the innate inferiority of the black race. However in the 60s, ordinary citizens campaigned for equal rights and ultimately succeeded in ending legal segregation. It was the Civil Rights Movement “led” by Martin Luther King. Its strategies were based on nonviolent actions like boycotts, marches and sit-ins. Thus the author shows us the oppression undergone by the Blacks.

The second document, I have chosen is the speech I have a dream of by Martin Luther King. His speech, delivered from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, is considered as one of the best speeches ever given. Indeed, from the beginning, he explained the oppression undergone by the Blacks to the world. Moreover he underlined that this situation iswasn't the wish of the nation's forefathers and in particular of Lincoln. He insisted that “all people are created equal and, although not the case in America at the time, he felt it must be the case for the future.”(là ça vient d'un des sites que j'ai consulté). Thus, during the March on Washington in 1963, he gave everybody a dream, a dream named equality. This dream gave hope to for a better future, where " black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness"

Finally the third document, I have chosen is a report from the U.S Census Bureau entitled The African American Middle Class. It deals with the evolution of the Blacks' situation and particularly with their growths. Indeed, it indicates that since the 60s, after the Civil Rights Movement, the black middle class has grown tremendously. And African Americans have moved into more white collar jobs. So they are more educated than ever before and their community Is not so much connected to lower income. Through this information the author wants to show us the social and economic improvement of the Blacks thanks to Martin Luther King and the Civil Rights Movement.

 

Finally these documents make us realize that Martin Luther King contributed to an improvement in the rights of Black people in the USA. A lot of progress has been made since he stood up for the rights of black Americans, there is no more segregation and even the American President is black. Thus, to me Martin Luther King is a hero. When whites were thought to be superior to all other races and segregated the Blacks, he stood up for the blacks' community and decided to change the world. And now his speeches, his actions became a myth that all people in the world know, even Barack Obama, 50 years after the speech I have a dream, commend the work of Martin Luther King.

Nevertheless these documents could also be linked with the notion of the idea of progress since they show an improvement of the world.

 

De toute évidence, tu es un adepte convaincu du célèbre conseil de Nicolas Boileau dans son Art poétique. Je cède volontiers au plaisir de le rappeler ci-dessous :

"Avant donc que d'écrire, apprenez à penser.
Ce que l'on conçoit bien s'énonce clairement,
Et les mots pour le dire arrivent aisément.
Hâtez-vous lentement, et sans perdre courage,
Vingt fois sur le métier remettez votre ouvrage,
Polissez-le sans cesse, et le repolissez,
Ajoutez quelquefois, et souvent effacez."

[NoctisX55]

Bonsoir,

encore et toujours je vous remercie de votre aide! Sinon je vous remercie également de cette citation de Boileau. Et je le sais que trop bien que ceci est mon plus gros défaut ^^'.

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne soirée!

[Jean B]

Il y a 13 heures, NoctisX55 a dit :

[...] Sinon je vous remercie également de cette citation de Boileau. Et je le sais que trop bien que ceci est mon plus gros défaut ^^'.

Ce n'est pas un défaut, bien au contraire. Pour éviter la moindre ambiguïté, j'aurais dû souligner ces 2 vers :

Vingt fois sur le métier remettez votre ouvrage,
Polissez-le sans cesse, et le repolissez,

Voilà qui est fait, rassure-toi sur ta capacité à "repolir l'ouvrage".