Correction/ Fiche de révision

[NoctisX55]

Bonsoir,

je souhaiterais que quelqu'un s'il a le temps et la gentille puisse me corriger une de mes fiches de révision en Anglais, s'il vous plaît. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui m'aideront!

Fiche de révision Anglais

Places and forms of power

 

I Definition of the notion

The power is the ability to influence the behavior of people, he can be political, financial or military. In order to live together members of a community accept rules, regulations and laws. But that can also lead to conflicts and tensions.

 

II Segregation of the Black

The first African slaves were brought to American in 1619, and most pro-slavery states were in the south (the Confederacy). And even with the declaration of independence in 1776, slavery wasn't abolished. It was abolished with the emancipation proclamation (signed by Lincoln) in 1863 during the Civil War between the Union and the Confederacy (1861-1865). Moreover with the 14^th Amendment (1868), the notion of equality between Blacks and Whites was born. Nevertheless some people didn't like this, and decided to form the Ku Klux Klan in 1866. In the beginning, it was a legal organization but in 1871 it was officially outlawed because of their violent actions. But the root of discrimination didn't disappear, it's confirmed with the practices of “Jim Crow” in 1883, and his legalization in 1896 through the support of the Supreme Court. It marked the beginning of the segregation of the Black, they didn't have the right to use the same bathroom, school, bus … moreover the quality of their facilities was always terrible. But thanks to Civil Right Movement in the 1960 and Martin Luther King, in 1964 the “Jim Crow Laws” were forbidden, moreover it was the beginning of the Affirmative Action Practices. Finally this age of discrimination, segregation is described in some books like The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier or also American Chica of Marie Arana.

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Il y a 16 heures, NoctisX55 a dit :

Bonsoir,

je souhaiterais que quelqu'un s'il a le temps et la gentillesse  puisse me corriger une de mes fiches de révision en anglais, s'il vous plaît. < En français, pas de majuscule aux noms des langues vivantes. Je remercie d'avance ceux ou celles qui m'aideront !

Fiche de révision anglais

Places and forms of power

 

I Definition of the notion

The Power is the ability to influence the behavior of people, he it can be political, financial or military. < Tu commences fort ! Omission de "the" dans la généralité. Quel pouvoir ? Est-il défini de quelque manière que ce soit ? Non. === Rappel : il y a 3 pronoms sujet de la 3ème personne singulier. Relis-toi afin d'éviter ce genre de faute absolument indigne. In order to live together members of a community accept rules, regulations and laws. But that can also lead to conflicts and tensions.

 

II Segregation of the Blacks < C'est un nom, donc tu le mets au pluriel et pas de déterminant s'il te plaît. Pose-toi la question : quels noirs ? Étaient-ils tous concernés ? Bien sûr que non (et heureusement).

The first African slaves were brought to American in 1619 and most pro-slavery states were in the south (the Confederacy). And even with after the declaration of independence in 1776, slavery wasn't abolished. It was abolished with by/following/after the emancipation proclamation (signed by Lincoln) in 1863 during the Civil War between the Union and the Confederacy (1861-1865). Moreover with the 14^th Amendment (1868), the notion of equality between Blacks and Whites was born. Nevertheless some people didn't like this and decided to form the Ku Klux Klan in 1866. In the beginning, it was a legal organization but in 1871 it was officially outlawed because of their violent actions. But the root of discrimination didn't disappear, it's confirmed with the practices of “Jim Crow laws” in 1883, and his their legalization in 1896 through the support of the Supreme Court.< Rappel : un adjectif possessif doit être accordé en genre et en nombre avec son possesseur. It marked the beginning of the segregation of the Blacks, they didn't have the right to use the same bathroom, school, bus … moreover the quality of their facilities was always terrible. But thanks to the Civil Right Movement in the 1960 and Martin Luther King, in 1964 the “Jim Crow Laws” were forbidden, moreover it was the beginning of the Affirmative Action Practices. Finally this age of discrimination, segregation is described in some books like The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier or also American Chica of Marie Arana.

Pour quelle raison avais-tu mis certaines phrases en rouge ? Étaient-elles destinées à te servir de balises ? Je te rappelle que, traditionnellement, le rouge est la couleur réservée aux corrections.

Bonne continuation.

 

 

[NoctisX55]

Bonjour,

ben je ne sais quoi dire si ce n'est un énorme merci pour votre aide. D'autant plus que ce n'est pas la première fois , sinon pour répondre à votre question, les phrases en rouges sont bien destinées à me servir de balises. La prochaine fois, je ferai attention de ne pas les mettre ^^.

 

Sur ce je vous souhaite une bonne journée!