Correction d'une lettre please

[coco88]

Bonjour pouvez vous me corriger mon exercice s'il vous plait . Merci d'avance . 

Ps : si vous avez des idées je suis prenante . 

 

                                             SOCOMA TEXTILES,
                                             zone industrielle nord.
                                             59082 Roubaix cedex 02.

Ms. Laura Brown
Purchasing manager
British national stores
214 High Street, Dover,
Sussex D07 3BT.

 

2 November 2015

Dear Ms. Brown

Subject : Our new range of cotton fabrics

 We are pleased to announce that  our my new range of cotton fabrics.  I transmit to you my new  catalog with the entire range and our colors. I am also sending you some samples of our fabrics for you to analyze it and see what you like.

I will be present at the Düsseldorf Exhibition on November 5 to 7 and I will like to meet you to show you my new products. I will make you promotions since you are a new client.

Should you require more information I remain at your disposal. 

Yours sincerely

Laurent Dupond,
Director of Sales.

Enc. New catalog

 

 

[Nicossleboss]

Salut 

We are pleased to announce that  our my new range of cotton fabric ====> Enléve le " my "

I am also sending you some samples of our fabrics for you to analyze it and see what you like. ====> I also send you some samples of our fabrics for you to analyze and check what you like.

I will be present at the Düsseldorf Exhibition on November 5 to 7 and I will like to meet you to show you my new products ===> I will be present to Dusseldorf Exhibition from the 5th of november to the 7th of November and i would be happy to meet you to show you my new products. 

I will make you promotions since you are a new client. ===> I will make you special offers because you are a new custumer.

Should you require more information I remain at your disposal. ====> If you need more informations i remain at your disposal.

 

Voila voila

 

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonne initiative, Nicossleboss, mais il te reste à faire quelques révisions.

BSalut 

We are pleased to announce that  our my new range of cotton fabric is available/on sale. ====>  Enléève le " my " < OK mais après la conjonction "that", on attend une proposition relative. Or, elle était absente.

I am also sending you some samples of our fabrics for you to analyze it and see what you like. ====> I also send you some samples of our fabrics for you to analyze and check what you like. OK

I will be present at the Düsseldorf Exhibition on November 5 to 7 and I will like to meet you to show you my new products ===> I will be present to at the Dusseldorf Exhibition from the 5th of  November 5 to the 7 of November and i I would be happy to meet you to show (you) my new products. < Attention à ne pas créer une faute où il n'y en a pas, la phrase de coco88 est correcte. La foire se tient à Dusseldorf/elle n'en bouge pas = at. --  Le pronom sujet 1ère personne singulier ne s'écrit qu'en I majuscule. -- Les dates ne s'écrivent pas forcément comme elles se disent et le noms des mois prennent tous une majuscule.

I will make you promotions since you are a new client. ===> I will make you special offers because you are a new customer. OK

Should you require more information I remain at your disposal. ====> If you need more informations i I remain at your disposal. < La formulation de coco88 est correcte. Attention : "information" est un indénombrable = des renseignements/informations

 

Voila voila