Aide, correction d'un petit texte

[Lyova]

I'll tell you the story of an Air Canada pilot who rescued a small dog last week.
At the Tel Aviv-Toronto flight, as the aircraft had to cross the Atlantic, the pilot notices a fault in the heating system in the hold, where the dog is located, a French bulldog. He knows that the temperature can drop to -50 ° C at altitude and that the dog's life is in danger. But he does not hesitate for a second to divert his plane to save the dog's life. He is landing emergency in Frankfurt.
This operation costs fuel costs 9000 euros and 75 minutes late. But Simba, aged 7 years, has survived. To the delight of its owner. She told herself: This is my dog is like my child, he is everything to me!
Finally, each driver is resposable of all lives aboard his plane, human or animal.

 

Merci infiniment !

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Au minimum, jeune homme, on commence toujours par dire "Bonjour". Souviens-t'en.

I'llm going to tell you the story of an Air Canada pilot who rescued a small dog last week. * Le présent be V-ing plutôt que will + BV quand la décision est déjà prise.
At During the Tel Aviv-Toronto flight, as the aircraft had to cross the Atlantic, the pilot notices noticed a fault in the heating system in of the hold where the dog is was located, a French bulldog. He knows knew that the temperature can drop to -50 ° C at high altitude/high up and that the dog's life is was in danger. Yet/But he does did not hesitate for a second to divert his plane to save the dog's life. He is landing made an emergency landing in Frankfurt.
This operation costs fuel costs cost 9000 euros worth of  fuel and led to a 75 minutes late delay. But Simba, aged 7 years, has survived to the delight of its owner. She told herself said: This is my dog, he is like my child, he is everything to me!
Finally, each every driver pilot is resposable responsible of for all lives aboard his plane, either humans or animals.

Merci infiniment !

* Faute récurrente dont il faut vite te corriger : l'emploi du présent dans un récit.

Au contraire, un récit, c'est le rapport/la relation d'un événement antérieur/passé/terminé/sans lien avec le présent. Il faut donc employer le prétérit. Mémorise-le.

 

 

[Lyova]

Merci beaucoup pour votre aide ! Et pour les commentaires.

Excusez moi.... J'ai envoyé le message sans même dire bonjour...En effet c'est pas grand chose par rapport a ce que je vous ai demandé. J'ai voulu modifier mon message mais je n'ai pas réussi. Savez-vous comment le faire ou c'est impossible? 

Je vous remercie encore une fois pour votre aide.

[Jean B]

C'est avec plaisir et merci pour avoir fait amende honorable.

Pour modifier, tu dois cliquer sur le bouton "Éditer" au bas du message puis, afin de valider la modification, cliquer sur le bouton "Enregistrer". Mais, comme tu es nouvellement inscrit, j'ignore si tu y as accès. Tu peux toujours essayer.

[Lyova]

Il me semble que je ne peux pas, c'est pas grave merci pour l'info !