Correction D'un Débat

[noctali]

Bonjour,

J'ai une note d'anglais qui est censée nous remonter la moyenne (d'après notre professeur!). Il s'agit d'un débat à présenter en classe sans aucune note écrite. Auriez-vous l'immense gentillesse de corriger mon travail et celui de ma camarade cela m'aiderait beaucoup.

Merci mille fois !!!!!!

 

Our debate it's about vegetarianism. The question is "Should human eat meat?"

 

• What is your opinion on the matter ?
• Well I think vegetarianism is a very good thing. I'm not vegetarian but I would become it.
• Could you live without meat ? I couldn't. There are many menus containing meat.
• I know. And a lot without too !
• Yes, but I think meat can't be replaced to its taste.
• I recognize that the taste is unique. But I can very well stop eating meat.
• You must have good reasons for this.
• A lot of reasons.
• So tell me ! I would be very interested in your view.
• Well the first reason and the most important for me is that I don't support the fact of sacrificing an animal just for the pleasure of eating meat. I find it terribly cruel.
• But it's nature and nature is cruel. You know the food chain. Small animals are killed by the biggest to survive. It's normal that a lion eat a gazelle. Why do you find it different for humans ?
• There are two differences. The first is for some years, research is demonstrating that animals feel pain the same way humans do. Humans are fully conscious of the suffering they inflicted contrary to the animals. That makes a big difference. Methods of slaughter (abattage) and farming are often cruel. Animals from factory farming endure pain and distress. Do you know that the farmers often give animals antibiotics to keep them alive in the unsanitary conditions ? And do you know which size are their cages ? Sometimes animals have so little place that they can't move. I find these methods unacceptable.
• I completely agree with you on this point. These methods are abominable. But today we can find some meat coming from farms which respect animals. A lot of producers are giving animals a decent life and a quick death. The labels Bio or Naturafarm by Coop (nom du magasin) for example respect these conditions. These ones should be respected by all producers.
• Ok but the second difference we have regarding a carnivorous animal is that we don't need meat to survive.
• Humans are eating meat for millennia, there is a reason for this. Meat is a good sources of protein, iron, vitamins and minerals. We need all these nutriments for all of our body processes. It's particularly important for children, pregnant women and for people with a defective immune system.
• There are plenty of vegetarian sources of protein, vitamins and minerals. For iron spinach is one of the best sources of it. As well a vegetarian diet contains high quantities of fibre and is low in fat which is very healthy. Besides a vegetarian diet reduces the risk for obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes and some types of cancer.
• Well, whatever you say. But you must have good knowledge in nutrition for this. I don't think you can so easily cut out meat of your alimentation without having serious nutritional deficiency.
• It's true you have to learn it. It can be overwhelming at first but it's just a question of habit.
• Let us grant you may be true and that the fact of becoming vegetarians doesn't create deficiencies. Your previous arguments are pertinent but they are too weak to change my mind.
• An another argument to become vegetarian is the environmental protection. Raising animals for food requires a lot of land which causes deforestation. It also requires a lot of water and food. Care must be taken not to use all our resources. Besides factory farming produces greenhouse gas emissions (than all of the cars, planes, and other forms of transportation combined). So by going vegetarian, you can reduce the impact of climate change.
• I understand what you mean. We must be concerned by our environment. But raising animal is only one of many causes of deforestation and pollution. I believe that we can combined the fact of eating meat and be green. I think that the real problem is the way we consume. We produce too much of all and throw too much. It would be judicious to produce less but of better quality. I think that should exist norms about factory farming to protect animals and to assure them a better life. In these conditions eating meat would be ethically acceptable. I'm not ready to become vegetarian but I can easily reduce my consumption.
• I accept your choice even if it's not enough for me. That would be a good thing that most of people can do the same. We eat more meat today than fifty years ago. Reducing meat consumption would be benefit for animals.
• On this point at least we are agreed ! I have nothing against vegetarians. I even think that this is a very good thing. I think everybody should have the choice to eat or not meat. It's just a question of liberty. Thank you this interesting debate.
• Thank you for hearing my arguments.

 

THANK YOU FOR ALL!

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

 

Bonjour,

J'ai une note d'anglais qui est censée nous remonter la moyenne (d'après notre professeur!). Il s'agit d'un débat à présenter en classe sans aucune note écrite. Auriez-vous l'immense gentillesse de corriger mon travail et celui de ma camarade cela m'aiderait beaucoup.

Merci mille fois !!!!!!

 

Our debate it's is about vegetarianism. The question is "Should humans eat meat?" <<Pas de double sujet en anglais.

 

• What is your opinion on the matter?
• Well I think vegetarianism is a very good thing. I'm not a vegetarian but I would like to become it one.<< a/an obligatoire devant un nom concret attribut du sujet
• Could you live without meat? I couldn't. There are many menus containing meat.
• I know. And a lot without too!
• Yes, but I think meat can't be replaced to its taste. <<???   Qu'as-tu voulu dire ?
• I recognize that the taste is unique. But I can very well stop eating meat.
• You must have good reasons for this.
• A lot of reasons.
• So tell me! I would be very interested in to know your point of view.
• Well the first reason and the most important one for me is that I don't support /can't/ bear the fact of sacrificing an animal just for the pleasure of eating meat. I find it terribly cruel.
• But it's nature and nature is cruel. You know the food chain. Small animals are killed by the biggest bigger ones to survive. <<L'emploi du superlatif est erroné ici. Revois la grammaire. It's normal that a lion eats a gazelle. Why do you find it different for humans?
• There are two differences. The first is for some years, that research is has been demonstrating for years that animals feel pain the same way humans do. <<Present perfect quand il y a lien passé-présent. Unlike animals, humans are fully conscious of the sufferings they inflicted on others  contrary to the animals. <<Pourquoi le passé ? C'est hélas toujours d'actualité, non ? That makes a big difference. Methods of slaughter (abattage) and farming are often cruel. Animals from factory farming endure pain and distress. Do you know that the farmers often give animals antibiotics to keep them alive in the unsanitary conditions?<<Revoir les règles d'emploi-omission de "the", c'est primordial.  And do you know which size are their cages? Sometimes animals have so little place that they can't move. I find these methods unacceptable.
• I completely agree with you on this point. These methods are abominable. But today we can find some meat coming from farms which respect animals. A lot of producers are giving animals a decent life and a quick death. The labels Bio or Naturafarm by Coop labels for example respect these conditions. These ones They should be respected by all producers.<<Le pronom n'est pas ambigu puisqu'il remplace le nom employé juste avant.
• OK but the second difference we have regarding a carnivorous animal is that we don't need meat to survive.
• Humans are have been eating meat for millennia, there is a reason / for this / why they do so.<<Voir plus haut. Meat is a good sources of proteins, iron, vitamins and minerals. We need all these nutriments for all of our body processes. It's particularly important for children, pregnant women and for people with a defective immune system.
• There are plenty of vegetarian sources of proteins, vitamins and minerals. For iro, spinach is one of the best sources of it. As well A vegetarian diet also contains high quantities of fibre and is low in fat, which is very healthy. Besides a vegetarian diet reduces the risk for of obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes and some types of cancer.
• Well, whatever you say. But you must have a good knowledge in of nutrition for this. I don't think you can so easily cut out meat of your alimentation diet without having serious nutritional deficiency.
• It's true you have to learn it. It can be overwhelming at first but it's just a question of habit.
• Let us grant you may be true and that the fact of becoming vegetarians doesn't create deficiencies. Your previous arguments are pertinent but they are too weak to change my mind.
• Another argument to become a vegetarian is the environmental protection of the environment. Raising animals for food requires a lot of land, which causes deforestation. It also requires a lot of water and food. Care must be taken not to use all our resources. Besides factory farming produces more greenhouse gas emissions than all of the cars, planes, and other forms of transportation combined. So by going vegetarian, you can reduce the impact of on the climate change.
• I understand what you mean. We must be concerned by our environment. But raising animals is only one of many causes of deforestation and pollution. I believe that we can combined the fact of eating meat and be green.<<modal + base verbale, toujours.  I think that the real problem is the way we consume. We produce too much of all everything and throw too much. It would be judicious to produce less but of better quality. I think that norms should exist norms about factory farming to protect animals and to assure them a better life. <<Pas d'inversion sujet-verbe en anglais In these conditions eating meat would be ethically acceptable. I'm not ready to become a vegetarian but I can easily reduce my consumption.
• I accept your choice even if it's not enough for to me. That would be a good thing that most of people can do the same. We eat more meat today than fifty years ago. Reducing meat consumption would be benefit for beneficial to animals.
• On this point at least we are agreed! I have nothing against vegetarians. I even think that this is a very good thing. I think everybody should have the choice to eat or not meat. It's just a question of liberty. Thank you for this interesting debate.
• Thank you for hearing my arguments.

 

THANK YOU FOR ALL!

[noctali]

Bonjour JRB,

Je vous remercie de tout coeur pour votre correction. Zut, c'est vrai qu'il y a beacoup de fautes...

En tout cas c'est vraiment gentil d'avoir corrigé et surtout d'avoir donné des explications. Je trouve que c'est un débat difficile car il est dur

de trouver des avantages à manger de la viande.

Je dois encore trouver deux ou trois arguments à placer entre deux car selon notre professeur notre débat est un tout petit peu court.

Ah oui et excusez-moi pour la réponse tardive, je n'avais plus d'ordinateur à la maison depuis quelques jours, il avait "grillé".

 

Encore merci et très bon après-midi !

[Jean B]

Avec grand plaisir.

Votre professeur doit être exigeant(e) et c'est tant mieux.