Notion Espace Et Echange

[alexandrafoot38]

Bonjour, pouvez-vous m'aider svp ? Je viens de finir mon texte sur la notion "spaces and exchanges", si vous pouviez m'aider pour les fautes et me les expliquer je prend note , j'ai une réel envie de progresser en anglais mais j'ai pris beaucoup de retard par rapport aux autres personnes de mon age ! Mais bon je m'accroche comme je peux   voila mon texte : 

 

The notion I'm going to deal with is the notion of spaces and exchanges. In the past, communicating, exchanging information with people abroad or being updated about the evolution of our world was quite complicated because of the distance. But today, our world has never seemed smaller, as transportation and telecommunication have accelerated the rhythm of exchanges between different areas and reduced the scale of our planet. I’m going to illustrate this notion through the example of online social networks to see how they have modified the nature and scale of our exchanges.

 

In our life, we need always to communicate with others people to be a part of the society. So the exchanges it’s very important to be accepted by the others and it’s thanks to the communication that we are aware of what happening in the scale of the world. And the social networks are a good way to rest informed. So we can see 2 examples to see positive and negative point of social networks.

To add to the positive side, Facebook permit to communicate very fast without moving from our home, we are able to exchange information with friends and share pictures and messages. I can say Facebook permit to find all the people who have an account. So we can speak with friend who has moved in another country without anything to pay. As the mobile phone is paying when we call in another country, we can say Facebook is a good alternative to not pay. Facebook create also an exchange between the society and the police. Let’s take a precise example: Jenifer Wilson is a young woman, who was the victim of an aggression in a nightclub. To find his aggressor she played the detective and she discovered him on Facebook. Thanks to pictures, the young woman was able to identify this criminal, which hadn’t been done by the police because the pictures in the security camera weren’t clear. Jenifer Wilson gave the police the aggressor’s address so that they arrested him. The story is the evidence that social networks permit to communicate information faster and to help police.

For the negative point, I can say social networks break up the relationships among individuals in real life because social networks it’s just a virtual relation. So people become withdrawn and prefer their virtual life rather their real life.

Social networks drag also a new progress: the cyberbullying. Now, information is communicated very fast and when you are victim of cyberbullying, everybody knows you and so it’s very difficult to escape from it. To take an example, a girl of 13 year old had put a video on YouTube, but everybody laugh at her. And she had moved to escape from laughs in her college but when she is arrived in his new school, everybody laughs at her because of social networks.

But social networks also present positive aspects, generosity and associations become more and more present thanks to the big number of participants, like the ice bucket challenge which is an association charities. So we can note that social networks create altruism, we can say they have the power to change people. In my opinion social networks can raise awareness people and thanks to it create altruism. But as long as some persons become altruist, some people take advantages of the situation in order to do get you noticed and they met to play narcissistic. That’s why I think social networks create altruism but narcissism too because of his increase.

 

To conclude, I think social networks permit to join a lot of persons in the world very fast and without to pay, and so also a tool for the police. But I think social networks withdrawn people in the virtual world, and create also the cyberbullying. But social networks provide also a new form of generosity with associations. So I think social networks may be a good thing but for me it’s very dangerous.  

 

Merci d'avance votre aide.