Respect Du Commerce Éthique - Lettre

[ruedesetoiles]

Bonjour,

 

On me demande de rédiger une lettre au Comité International Olympique pour m'assurer que les produits pour promouvoir les JO sont fabriqués dans des conditions qui respectent le commerce éthique. Je dois donner mon point de vue et convaincre le CIO. Je suis présidente d'un organisme local qui lutte contre les ateliers clandestins.

 

Pouvez-vous corriger ma lettre ?

 

Dear Sir,

 

                I have just been elected President of the Students Against Sweatshops Organisation. The aim of this organization is to fight against the exploitation of garment workers in sweatshops in emerging countries.

 

                I am writing to you to share my concern with regard to working conditions in which produced goods for the Olympic Games. Today, many subcontractors in Asian and African countries exploit their garment workers. These workers produce goods in extremely harsh working and for a crummy salary conditions. They work long hours, in insalubrious housing without running water and they can not proper health care.

 

                New research shows that licensed goods bearing the logo of the 2012 games have been made in factories which do not respect the rights of workers. Furthermore, this report was indicative of the presence of many children as young as 12 years old, as well as older people. These workers earned 14 P/hour, or half the legal minimum wage in China. They made to work up to 15 hours per day, seven days a week producing Olympic merchandise.

 

                My goal is therefore to make sure sportswear and merchandise sold to promote the next Olympic Games are manufactured in working conditions that respect ethical trading and fundamental rights.

Thank you for your attention.

 

 

Yours sincerely,

---

Merci beaucoup

 

 

 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

 

Dear Sir,

 

                I have just been elected President of the Students Against Sweatshops Organization. The aim of this organization is It aims to fight against the exploitation of garment workers in sweatshops in emerging countries.

 

                I am writing to you to share my concern with regard to the working conditions in which produced goods are made/produced for the Olympic Games. Today many subcontractors in Asian and African countries exploit their garment workers. These workers produce goods in extremely harsh working conditions and for a crummy salary conditions. They work long hours in insalubrious housing without running water and they cannot have proper health care.<<Le modal employé sans verbe ne signifie rien. Relis-toi !

 

                New research shows that licensed goods bearing the logo of the 2012 games have been made in factories which do not respect the rights of workers. Furthermore, this report was indicative of the presence of many children as young as 12 years old, as well as older people. These workers earned 14 P/hour, or half the legal minimum wage in China. They were made to work up to 15 hours per day, seven days a week producing Olympic merchandise. <<Rappel construction passive : auxiliaire be (conjugué au temps voulu) + participe passé du verbe.

 

                My goal is therefore to make sure sportswear and merchandise sold to promote the next Olympic Games are manufactured in working conditions that respect ethical trading and fundamental rights.

Thank you for your attention.

 

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Les différences constatées dans les polices de caractères m'amènent à me demander si tu n'as pas repiqué tout ou partie de cette lettre sur le Web. J'espère me tromper.

PS Ce forum étant exclusivement réservé à la langue de Shakespeare, il est inutile de mentionner "anglais" dans le titre du sujet ; je l'ai donc supprimé.

[ruedesetoiles]

Bonjour JRB,

 

Merci pour ta correction et rassure-toi, je n'ai rien copié sur le Web. Les différences de police s'explique par le fait que dans mon énoncé, on m'a fournit un document, un extrait d'article en complément pour m'aider à rédiger ma lettre. C'est de ce document que j'ai tiré certaines phrases comme par exemple les résultats de l'étude (--> les enfants de 12 ans qui travaillent 15 heures par jour entre autre) dont je fais part dans ma lettre. Mon travail est entièrement personnel, et j'y tiens parce que c'est important ; dans le monde du travail on ne peut pas toujours copier le travail des autres et il faut savoir travailler par soi-même.

 

Merci encore de ta correction.