Correction De Fautes

[Jelo]

Bonjour/bonsoir 

alors voila j'ai un sujet d'expression écrite a rendre ce lundi il suffisait de continuer l'histoire du texte qu'on avait étudié (c'était un extrait du livre de Toni Morrison , Sula. J'ai fais mon sujet d'expression mais j'ai aussi fait des fautes que je ne pense pas voir par moi même alors j'en appelle a l'aide de quelqu'un qui puisse par ailleurs m'expliquer si possible mes erreurs . 

Merci d'avance

 

Nel and her mother are steel in the train with the two black soldiers. She looked at her mother.

‘’Mom are you okay?’’

Helene smiled at her daughter.

‘’Yes I’m okay don’t worry’’

The two black soldiers who had been watching the scene with the conductor looked at Nel.

‘’It’s not a good idea to be there with us’’ said one of them

Helene stop smiled.

‘’I don’t understand what you mean’’

‘’I mean you are with us and we are colored’’

‘’We are not too different , I’m a human like you’’ said Helene

Nel watched the scene in silence, maybe the conductor come back and her mom and the two black soldiers will have problems.

‘’Many people don’t think like you , colored and white people are separated in public places you know…’’ said the soldiers

‘’It’s really sad.. and unfair!’’

The two black soldiers start laugh. Helene felt embarrassed.

‘’It’s not a Joke’’ said Nel

The two black soldiers stop laugh and smiled at Nel.

‘’We know but we will not cry..’’

‘’Why white people and you are separated in public places? I don’t understand !’’ shouted Nel

‘’Nel speak loudly!’’ said her mother

Nel blew.

‘’What happens here?’’ said the conductor who had just arrived.

‘’Nothing sir , it’s okay’’ replied Helene

The conductor shook the head and went away.

‘’because we are colored people and be colored is not good’’ said one of the two black soldiers

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

 

Nel and her mother are steel in the train with the two black soldiers.<<Pourquoi ce présent quand tout le reste est au passé ? N'est-ce pas un récit ? She looked at her mother.

‘’Mom are you okay?’’

Helene smiled at her daughter.

‘’Yes I’m okay, don’t worry’’

The two black soldiers who had been watching the scene with the conductor looked at Nel.

‘’It’s not a good idea to be there with us’’ said one of them

Helene stop smiled stopped smiling. <<cesser de faire qqch = to stop + v-ing, mémorise-le.

‘’I don’t understand what you mean’’

‘’I mean you are with us and we are colored’’

‘’We are not too different , I’m a human like you’’ said Helene

Nel watched the scene in silence, maybe the conductor would come back and her mom and the two black soldiers will would have problems some trouble/get into trouble. <<maybe induit une supposition/hypothèse, donc le conditionnel

‘’Many people don’t think like you, colored and white people are separated in public places you know…’’ said the soldiers

‘’It’s really sad.. and unfair!’’

The two black soldiers start laugh  started laughing <<voir plus haut Helene felt embarrassed.

‘’It’s not a Joke’’ said Nel

The two black soldiers stop laugh << bis !  and smiled at Nel.

‘’We know but we will not cry..’’

‘’Why are white people and you are << aïe, aïe, aïe ! separated in public places? I don’t understand !’’ shouted Nel

‘’Nel speak loudly!’’ said her mother

Nel blew.<< ???

‘’What's going on happens here?’’ said the conductor who had just arrived.

‘’Nothing sir , it’s okay’’ replied Helene

The conductor shook the his head and went away.<<l'anglais emploie systématiquement un adjectif possessif devant les parties du corps humain.

‘’because we are colored people and be being colored is not good’’ said one of the two black soldiers << seul un gérondif (v-ing) peut prendre la fonction sujet d'un verbe, pas une base verbale.

 

Conclusion : quelques révisions ne seront pas superflues.