Dm Pour Lundi

[Mélanie123]

Bonjour,

J'ai un dm à faire pour lundi dans lequel je dois me mettre dans la peau d'un personne qui quitte son pays pour immigrer aux États-Unis. Je dois écrire une lettre à un membre de ma famille pour lui raconter mon voyage et mes premières semaines aux pays. Je m'excuse déjà pour les grosses fautes qu'il doit y avoir mais j'ai vraiment un niveau d'anglais catastrophique. Voici ma lettre

Dear Mom,

I left Russia for the past three long weeks. I have not had the courage to make big farewell to the friends of the village. I left the house at ten in the morning. I said to my wife: Goodbye. She replied: Farewell, everything runs smoothly. Many of them thought I was saying goodbye to a friend. All, we were concerned about how this would happen long and perilous journey we begin? Some were crying. During the trip I was alone and thoughtful. I saw small groups to form. I have preferred to isolate me, staring into the empty weighing what would happen when I arrived.

When we arrived at Ellis Island, the island that closes New York we spent medical examinations as only people in good health were accepted. I started to work the day after my arrival, I found some trades that allowed me to raise a minimum of money to survive. But the living conditions are so difficult here. I feel alone and the language barrier only accentuate this solitude .. That mom. I would write you again in a few weeks. I embrace you, see you soon

Voilà merci

Mélanie, élève de terminal ES

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Dear Mom,

I left Russia for the past three long weeks ago.<c'est terminé, daté et coupé du présent => prétérit, ce que tu as bien fait, + ago I have not had the didn't have enough courage to make big say farewell to the friends of the village.< le temps du récit est le prétérit, pas le present perfect I left the house at ten in the morning. I said to told my wife: Goodbye. She replied: Farewell, everything runs smoothly. Many of them <ce pronom ne renvoie à aucun nom pluriel précédemment employé people/neighbours thought I was saying goodbye to a friend. We were all concerned about how this would happen long and perilous journey that we were about to begin would go off.<ici, 'how' n'est pas interrogatif mais relatif; en conséquence la proposition qui suit reste de forme déclarative Some were crying. During the trip I was alone and thoughtful. I saw small groups to form. I have preferred to isolate myself,<tu es toujours dans ton récit => prétérit staring into the empty, weighing what would happen when I arrived.

When we arrived at Ellis Island, the island that closes New York???<as-tu déjà vu une île "fermer/barrer une ville" ? Qu'as-tu voulu dire ? we spent medical examinations as only people in good health were accepted. I started to work the day after my arrival, I found some trades that allowed me to raise a minimum of money to survive. But the living conditions are so difficult here. I feel alone and the language barrier only accentuates this solitude/makes this solitude worse... That's all mom.<relis-toi, toujours I would will write you again in a few weeks.< le futur, pas le conditionnel I embrace you < attention aux calques d'expressions françaises, sers-toi d'un bon dictionnaire With love, see you soon

Sans vouloir minimiser tes fautes, ton niveau n'est pas si "catastrophique"; en tous cas, j'ai déjà lu bien pire.

NB Puisque tu n'es plus en troisième, merci de rectifier la classe dans ton profil.

Bonne continuation.

[Mélanie123]

Ouf, vous me rassurez .. Ah oui ! Ça serra fait. Merci beaucoup en tout cas. Bonne soirée

[Mélanie123]

J'ai rajouté quelques phrases car je devais faire 300 mots et j'en étais assez loin .. Voilà la suite :

I still found a man who speaks the same language as me in my job. He left the country for the same reasons as me, so we can confide to each other. In this industry, it is considered as slaves and we get very little money for the number of hours we do in the day. This is not even a month since I left Russia and it already seems very long. I miss my life, my family also. I hope to return soon.

Voilà merci

[Jean B]

J'ai rajouté quelques phrases car je devais faire 300 mots et j'en étais assez loin .. Voilà la suite :

I still found a man who speaks the same language as me in my job. He left the country for the same reasons as me mine, so we can confide to each other. In this industry, it is we are regarded as/considered as to be/ slaves and we get very little money for the number of work hours we do in the day. This is It's not even been a month since I left Russia and it already seems very long. I miss my life, my family also too. I hope to return soon.

Voilà merci