Ts : Expression Écrite Besoin D'aide

[Mllx123]

Bonjour a vous, je viens vous demandé un peut d'aide pour un devoir que je doit rendre en anglais ( sachant que j'ai vraiment du mal avec cette matière que sa soit à l'écrit ou à l'oral )

Alors le sujet est celui-ci : "would you like to study abroad ? where would you like to go and why ?" (400 mots au minimum )

j'ai commencé à faire l'introduction, et je voulais que vous me corrigiez mes erreurs ( en étant très indulgent svp )

alors voilà ce que j'ai fais :

Today, there are many students who choose to study abroad, because when student succeed in their "baccalaureat", they are faced with this question :" Would you like to study abroad ? " Most of them consider it as a good opportunity not to missed . I will answer this question along two lines : first, we'll see that they are a benefit to study foreign country . Then we'll see why I could hesitate to go and where .

cordialement

[Surrender Dorothy]

Bonjour,

Alors, voici mes explications:

-en italique: ton texte

-en majuscule: mes choix

-entre parenthèses: mes explications de traduction

Today NOWADAYS (Je trouve que nowadays traduit plus l'expression "de nos jours" et moins "aujourd'hui, à ce jour" )there are many students who choose to study abroad (phrase correcte mais qui fait très mot à mot, pas très naturel) MORE AND MORE (Many = beaucoup / more and more = de plus en plus : en fait je trouve que more en more donne plus l'impression que c'est un phénomène de plus en plus fréquent. Ca donne l'impression que tu expliques pourquoi tu as décidé de choisir ce sujet.) STUDENTS DECIDE TO STUDY ABROAD.

Because when student succeed in their "baccalaureat", they are faced with this question : "Would you like to study abroad?".

INDEED, (Je préfère utiliser "en effet" que "car". Ca permet de donner plus de poids à ton argumentation.) FOLLOWING A BACCALAUREATE'S DEGREE (après obtention du bac), STUDENTS (attention à ne pas oublier le S: a student / students : un étudiant/des étudiants) CAN (ce modal montre que ce n'est pas toujours le cas mais que cette situation est de plus en plus fréquente) BE FACED WITH THIS QUESTION: "Would you like to study (A YEAR) abroad?".

Most of them consider it as a good opportunity not to missed.

MOST OF THEM REGARD (implique l'idée de projection dans ce pays étranger. Je trouve que consider fait trop calqué sur le français et peut facilement avoir un autre sens.) THIS AS AN UNMISSABLE OPPORTUNITY/ AN OPPORTUNITY THAT MUST NOT GO TO WASTE.

I will answer this question along two lines: first, we'll see that they are a benefit to study foreign country. Then, we'll see why I could hesitate to go and where.

I WILL ADDRESS/ ANSWER THIS QUESTION IN TWO PARTS. FIRSTLY, POSITIVE ASPECTS OF STUDYING ABROAD WILL BE DISCUSSED. THEN, I WILL EXPRESS MY OWN DOUBTS ABOUT THE IDEA THAT STUDENTS SHOULD GO ABROAD.

(Les correcteurs n'aiment pas trop l'utilisation de WE. )

Voilà.

Au plaisir de te relire.

Bonne journée.

D.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Alors le sujet est celui-ci : "would you like to study abroad ? where would you like to go and why ?" (400 mots au minimum )

Today, there are many students who choose to study abroad, because when student succeed in their "baccalaureat", they are faced with this question :" Would you like to study abroad ? " Most of them consider it as a good opportunity not to missed . I will answer this question along two lines : first, we'll see that they are a benefit to study foreign country . Then we'll see why I could hesitate to go and where .

[Mllx123]

bonjour, alors j'ai effectué quelque modification en prenant en compte vos remarques :

Est-ce correcte pour une introduction

The fact to Studying abroad can open our eyes and help us to appreciate our differences. Nowadays, more and more students decide to study abroad. So there are many students who choose this way of learning. Before I take the school leaving examination next june, I am often asked whether I would like to study abroad. I think this is a good opportunity not to be wasted.

PROBLEMATIQUE "would you like study abroad ?"

To answer to this question. I will tell you about two different aspects : First of all, I will show you the benefits of this kind of adventure in another country, far from my everydaylife.

And then, I will tell you about disadvantages that I could meet and so causes that make me hesitate to choose this experience.

[Jean B]

Attention aux calques du français qui sont à éviter comme la peste.

The fact to < Cela alourdit la phrase inutilement. Le gérondif sujet suffit amplement à exprimer ce que tu souhaites dire > Studying abroad can open our eyes minds and help us to appreciate our differences. Nowadays more and more students decide to study abroad. So there are many students who choose this way of learning. < C'est plus ou moins une répétition de la phrase précédente, non ? Before I take the school leaving examination next june, I am often asked whether I would like to study abroad. I think this is a good opportunity not to be wasted.

PROBLEMATIQUE "would you like study abroad ?"

To answer to < answer est transitif direct this question I will tell you about two different aspects : First of all, I will show you the benefits advantages of this kind of adventure in another country, far from my everyday life. < en 2 mots car everyday est adjectif

And then, I will tell you about the disadvantages that I could meet with and so causes (that) could make me hesitate to choose this experience.

[Mllx123]

Intro : Studying abroad can open our minds and help us toappreciate our differences . Today, there are many students who choose this way of learning. But if I succeed my a Level, I will be confronted to the same situation, and I will ask me the same question : "Would I like to study abroad ? "

To answer to this question. I will tell you about two different aspects : First of all, I will show you the benefits of this kind of adventure in another country, far from my everydaylife.

And then, I will tell you about disadvantages that I could meet and so causes that make me hesitate to choose this experience.

I- To me (To my mind), Enrol in a university in a foreign country can offer great advantages because it helps us to improve our language skills,to become independent,. Studying Abroad is a great experience because it allows us to learn more about other cultures and become more sensitive to cultural differences it also permit us to travel and see new places, so to learn something about another culture and another way of life . It remains an extraordinary experience because it allows us to interact with foreign people . Studying in a foreign country May signify that you are open minded and it prove your wish and determination to discover the world, a world which is all around us, full of wealth . Furthermore, the other reason which encourage me to study abroad is the possibility to have a better job, a better career, to have opportunities. If I succeed my exam,I will be able to study and to live abroad, and as I'm very curious it could be something interesting for me to discover new horizons/prospects, to meet new people and to learn about their origins, their culture, religion and way of life. It could permit me to compare my life and their one, and then to have the choice of my future life, to ask me what I would like to do, how I would like to live, with which values.

II- However, this experience implies to leave my family, my friends, my habits and my everyday life. It's difficult for me to imagine that I have to leave the place where I spent my childhood. I will be far from where I was born, from all my landmarks and the adaptation could be difficult because of the language barrier, even if english is an international language, in all country it's a different vocabulary and accent. It's something very scary for a student, to be alone with our bad english in a country where all is different, and nobody to help us. Even if I'm afraid of it, for me, the United-States are a dream : the American dream.

CONCLUSION : To put it in a nutshell , yes I enjoy to go to study abroad, I know I would be able to overcome my fears for to realize my dream to go to the United States particularly New York because I might go sightseeing . This adventure still remains a thrilling challenge but so enriching

[Mllx123]

J'ai écrit la suite que j'ai envoyé dans le message précédents pourriez-vous me dire si j'ai effectué des erreurs ou non ?