Besoin D'aide Pour D'éventuelles Fautes

[Juu71]

Bonjour , alors je suis en terminale ES et j'ai une expression écrite a faire pour lundi j'ai pris le sujet :

''Imagine the conversation between Eilis and her mother before she leaves to go abroad''

aucun problème pour écrire la conversation mais je pense et je suis certaine d'avoir fait des fautes j'aimerai donc de l'aide pour cela . Merci d'avance

voila ce que j'ai fais

Eilis looked at her mother , she was in her room . She seems very tired and maybe a little sad.

''I will miss you'' her mother said

Eilis smiled at her mother and replied.

''I will miss you too mom, it's hard to left you, the house, the country...''

''I know Eilis, but if you stay here you can't be riche or happy, America is an opportunity for you''

''I'm really happy to hear you say that''

''why?'' tell her mother

''Maybe .. because when Father flood was coming you was not really glad to left me go in America. I think you don't agree with him''

''Oh Eilis Father flood have good argument!''

''Definitely yes, he is a very good person''

''You are too Eilis, you are a great person''

''Mom when do you think I can return in Ireland?''

''Maybe in 6 month, when you are installing and you have a money''

''Father Flood will be here when I will be in Brooklyn?''

''I think yes Eilis''

Eili's mother start to have tears and Eilis felt ill at ease''

''Don't cry mom, one day you can come in America, I believe you can left Ireland like me''

''Eilis Are you listen Father Flood? He said America would me a great opportunity, especially if you were young , and I know I'm not too young''

Eilis looking up to heaven and say to her mother:

''Yes it's will be great and I promise if I become rich and famous .. I buy for you a boat in order to come see me when you want''

Her mother smiled and laugh a little. Eilis breaks the silence:

''Mom I had to go''

Her mother makes a hug at her and start to cry . Eilis takes her luggage and go outside, she was on her way for her new life''

[Ezehkiel Jones]

Hello' !

Quelques fautes, effectivement !

Eilis looked at her mother , she was in her room . She seemed (tu racontes au passé, tu ne peux donc pas conjuguer au présent) very tired and maybe a little sad.

''I'm gonna miss you'' (Forme contractée de "I'm going to", on dit plutôt en anglais "tu vas me manquer" que "tu me manqueras", et la forme contractée car c'est un dialogue, c'est plus authentique) her mother said

Eilis smiled at her mother and replied.

''I'm gonna miss you too mom, it's hard to leave (left au prétérit) you, the house, the country...''

''I know Eilis, but if you stay here, you can't be rich or happy. America is an opportunity for you''

''I'm really happy to hear you say that''

''Why?'' asked her mother

''Maybe .. because when Father flood was coming (je ne comprends pas, que voulais tu dire ?) you wasn't (dialogue, donc contraction plus authentique) really glad to let (to let someone go) me go in America. I think you don't agree with him''

''Oh Eilis Father flood (?) has (troisième personne du singulier) good arguments!''

''Yes, definitely (on inverse plutôt), he's a very good person''

''So are you (Très authentique pour dire "Comme toi" so+auxiliaire+sujet) Eilis, you're a great person''

''Mom, when do you think I can go back (plus courant) in Ireland?''

''Maybe in 6 month, when you are settled and you have enough money (quand tu seras installée et que tu auras suffisamment d'argent, ou si tu ne tiens pas au "suffisamment" tu peux enlever "enough" mais rien devant money''

''Will Father Flood (toujours pas) be here when I am (subordonnée temporelle, toujours au présent) in Brooklyn?''

''I think so (I think so=Je pense que oui / I don't think so=Je ne pense pas.) Eilis''

Eili's mother started to weep (larmoyer, pleurer) and Eilis felt uncomfortable (ill at ease, c'est du mot à mot, ça n'existe pas en anglais)

''Don't cry mom, someday you will come in America, I believe you can leave Ireland like me''

''Eilis, Do you listen to Father Flood ? He said America would be a great opportunity, especially if you are young , and I know I'm not that young (Je ne suis pas/plus si jeune)''

Eilis looked at the heaven and said to her mother:

''Yes it will be great and I promise if I become rich and famous .. I will offer you a boat so that you can visit me whenever you want''

Her mother smiled and laughed a little. Eilis broke (préterit) the silence:

''Mom I have to (ou "gotta" à prononcer "Gadeu", forme contractée, plus authentique) go''

Her mother hugged her (to hug se suffit en lui-même) and started to cry . Eilis grabbed her luggage and went outside. She was going to start a brand new life. (elle allait débuter une toute nouvelle vie)

Espérant t'avoir aidé et attendant d'être éclairci sur le "Father Flood"...

Kindest regards,

[Juu71]

bonjour merci beaucoup pour tout! c'est vraiment très gentil d'avoir même expliquer et tout! Father Flood est enfaite un personnage , qui était présent dans le texte avant puisque le dialogue est en fait une suite

donc je pense qu'après reflexion a la ligne 'Maybe .. because when Father flood was coming il serait plus juste d'écrire ''Maybe .. because when Father flood came je pense?

[Ezehkiel Jones]

Hello' !

Oui exactement!

Et j'ai eu un doute pour cette phrase: ''Oh Eilis Father flood has good arguments!''

Je ne savais pas si tu voulais dire qu'il a de bons arguments, sous-entendu en général, das ce cas c'est bien "has", ou bien s'il avait de bons arguments, sous-entendu lors d'un débat par exemple, et là en revanche c'est "had".

Et fait attention à la ponctuation !

See you soon,

[Juu71]

Hello' !

Oui exactement!

Et j'ai eu un doute pour cette phrase: ''Oh Eilis Father flood has good arguments!''

Je ne savais pas si tu voulais dire qu'il a de bons arguments, sous-entendu en général, das ce cas c'est bien "has", ou bien s'il avait de bons arguments, sous-entendu lors d'un débat par exemple, et là en revanche c'est "had".

Et fait attention à la ponctuation !

See you soon,