Paving The Way

[mimi4521]

Paving the way

Bonsoir, est ce que vous pouvez me corriger mes fautes et me dire ce que j'ai écrit est bien. Merci d'avance

Sujet :

Tommie Smith wrote : " We opened the door for them (i.e. today's students) and showed them the way."

Discuss to what extent individuals can show the way to others. Back up your opinion with examples from history.

In the past their had people considered as inferior because the society do a portrait of an ideal man, how must this human must be intellectually, physically and moraly but in the world he exists human who have different culture because they live in an other country and in this place they haven't got the same things.

They are pepople with phisical different ( colour of their skin, eyes...) they have to adapted in the climate..... But they are many others discrimination (distinction between women and men) who are deleted because people fight againt this kind of discrimination.

Tommie Smith main with his quotation that the way who take our ancestores influence in your behavior.

If anybody stand up for their rights people haven't got the courage to protest and change the laws, for exemple Rosa Parks followed the way open by Clodette Colvin against the segregation.

Our parents who educated you and transmit you our culture. They have to be tolerent open and talk about respect with other person, who can be different. They learn you how to contain with others.

In school professor develop your critical mind, they learn you new hings and what can be just an injust.

They musn't judge people if you don't know. They so have your appoppriate opinion.

In school their are divarcy nationality and origine : they have rights.

The professor teaches us to be a future person. Who can change the laws if they are injust and opposed againts the government when he do things not good.

Thus their are different people who can influe us : our parents, our teachers...

[devas29]

Je ne corrige pas tout je souligne les (nombreuses) erreurs.

Il te faut sérieusement revoir les bases et être plus rigoureuse dans l'orthographe et le choix du vocabulaire.

In the past their had people considered/ there were people considered as inferior because the society do a portrait of an ideal man, how must this human must be intellectually, physically and moraly but in the world he exists human who have different culture because they live in an other country and in this place they haven't got the same things. outre le fait que c'est très mal exprimé il y a mélange entre singulier et pluriel il faut être cohérent! aussi "he" n'est pas un pronom impersonnel il renvoie systématiquement à une personne !!! il y a : there is / there are (programme 6ème !)

They are pepople with phisical orthographe! different adjectif! ( colour of their skin, eyes...) they have to adapted in the climate..... But they are many others discrimination (distinction between women and men) who uniquement pour les personnes ! are deleted voc because people fight againt this kind of discrimination.

Tommie Smith main ?? with his quotation that the way who take our ancestores influence in your behavior.

If anybody stands up for their rights people haven't got the courage to protest and change the laws, for exemple Rosa Parks followed the way opened by Clodette Colvin against the segregation.

Our parents who educated you pas cohérent avec our ! and transmit temps! you our sens? de qui parle t-on ?? la culture de qui??culture. They have to be tolerent orthographe ! open and talk about respect with other person, who can be different. They learn you how to contain voc with others.

In school professor voc/ teachers develop your critical mind, they learn you new things and what can be just and injust .voc

They qui ?? musn't judge people if you cohérence avec they?? don't know. They so have your appoppriate opinion. ouh là là...

In school their are divarcy nationality and origine : they qui ?? have rights.

The professor utilisé pour l'université ! teaches us to be a future person mal dit. Who can change the laws if they are injust and opposed againts the government when he do things not good.

Thus their are different people who can influe us : our parents, our teachers...

[mimi4521]

Merci de votre correction et conseils!!!!!!

J'ai fait une correction, j'espère que cette fois si il n'y aura pas de fautes. Vous pourriez s'il vous plaît me donner des exemples de personnes historique ? Merci.

In the past there were people considered as inferior because the society do a portrait of an ideal man, how this human must be intellectually, physically and moraly but in the world there are humans different, because they live in an other country and in this place they haven't got the same things.

They are people witth physical appearence different ???? adjectif! ( colour of their skin, eyes...) they have to adapt in the climate..... But there are many others discrimination (distinction between women and men) which are deleted because people fight against this kind of discrimination.

Tommie Smith mean with his quotation that the way taken by ancestors influence in your behavior.

If anybody stands up for their rights people haven't got the courage to protest and change the laws, for exemple Rosa Parks followed the way opened by Clodette Colvin against segregation.

Our parents who educated their children and transmited their culture. They have to be tolerent, open and learn to their children respect, to other person, who can be different. They learn how to contain (comporter) with others.

At the school teachers develop your critical mind, they learn you new things and what can be just and injust (injuste)

Teachers their learn if they don’t know the person they musn't judge him. They must have their appropriate opinion..

At the school there are divarcy nationality and origine : Even if the colour of their skin is different they have the same rights.

The teachers teach us how to be a future person and bring in the world work. Who can change the laws if they are injust and opposed againts the government when he take decision whitout the consent ( consentement) of the population or when people protest againts things they can be injust.

Thus there are different people who can influe us : our parents, our teachers..They are person important for be a futur person responsable ???