Aide Pour Correction D'un Texte Svp :)

[melle05]

Bonjour, voila mon expression écrite pourriez vous me la corriger svp

voici la consigne : The last time you went to another planet you came across a different society from the one on earth, although not quite different after all. Describe it through one or two characters and one or two events.

I was so surprised to see me in a country I did not know. I was looking forward to see anything but no creature was offered to me. Finally, I resolved to walk until I meet someone or perhaps few beasts or death. After half an hour's walk I met two very large animal. The first one was standing in front of me, another fled to the hut. (I thought this because after that, I saw him return with a hundred of the same species). They were all very strange, around me. When I was able to see them, I saw they had the same size, figure and face as us. From time to time, they were doing so outlandish rites, probably because I was different from them, that I thought becoming a monster. One of these beasts-men grabbed me by the neck, as do the wolves when they take a sheep, and threw me on his back and took me to their city. I was amazed when I discovered that they were indeed men and to see none of them crawling/ crawl/ to crawl on one's hands and knees. Behind their strange way to stand, walk, dress... they were men like us. After having examined me, they were nice to me. The chief of their tribe greeted me like a king and gave me gifts and one of his wives. Finally, I am glad to be landed on this earth. I would always keep a good memory. I think in my earth I had never met real men expect here because they welcomed me because of my qualities of men and they did not consider my differences. They were just amazed by my culture that they did not know.I realized that we were both men despite the fact that we have different customs. We also have the same values (although they are better than ours!)

I think there are no men in my world. I saw in my life, Italians, French, Russians... Thanks to Montesquieu I also know that we can be Persian. But in my world I've never seen a real man. Now I really know what this word means.

J'ai aussi traduit des phrases :

“We can’t go tomorrow,” I told her. ---> "Nous ne pouvons pas y aller demain", lui dis-je.

“He must be deranged,” I thought. ----> "Il doit être dérangé", pensais-je.

"I’ll phone you next week,” I promised. ----> "Je t'appellerai la semaine prochaine",

“We moved to town two years ago,” he said. ---> "Nous avons déménagé en ville il y a deux ans", dit-il.

“I heard the news yesterday,” she whispered ---> "J'ai entendu les nouvelles hier", murmura-t-il.

1. J’ai dit à Ben qu’il avait l’air fatigué. ---> I told Ben that he seemed tired.

2. Il m’a dit qu’il ne pouvait pas le faire tout seul. ---> He told me that he couldn't do it himself.

3. Elle m’a dit qu’ils l’avaient arrêté il y a deux mois. ---> She told me that they had arrested him two months ago.

4. Il a dit que c’étaient ses affaires. ---> He told me that it was not his business.

5. Je lui ai dit qu’il devrait prendre des vacances. ---> I told him that he should take a break.

Merci de votre aide

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonjour,

Voilà mon expression écrite. Pourriez-vous me la corriger SVP ?

Voici la consigne : The last time you went to another planet you came across a different society from the one on earth, although not quite different after all. Describe it through one or two characters and one or two events.

I was so surprised to see me find myself in a country I did not know. I was looking forward to see anything but no creature was offered to me. Finally, I resolved to walk until I met<concordance des temps someone or perhaps a few beasts or death. After half an hour's walk I met two very large animals. <2, c'est pas un pluriel ?

The first one was standing in front of me, another fled to the hut. (I thought this so because after that, I saw him return immediately with a hundred of the same species). They were all very strange around me. When I was able to could see them, I saw noticed they had the same size, figure and face as us. From time to time, they were doing so outlandish rites, probably because I was different from them, that I thought I was becoming a monster. One of these beast-men grabbed me by the neck, as do the wolves do when they take a sheep, and threw me on his back and took me to their city. I was amazed when I discovered that they were indeed men and to see realized that none of them crawling/ crawl/ to crawled on one's his hands and knees.<l'adjectif possessif doit être accordé (en genre et en nombre) avec le possesseur. Behind their the strange way to stand they stood, walked, dressed... they were men like us. After having examined me, they were nice to me. The chief of their tribe greeted me like a king and gave me gifts and one of his wives. Finally, I am glad to be I landed on this earth. I would will always keep a good memory.<le futur, pas le conditionnel I think in my earth I had never met real men on my earth except here because they welcomed me because of my human qualities of men and they did not consider my differences. They were just amazed by my culture that they did not know.I realized that we were both men despite the fact that we have different customs. We also have the same values (although they are better than ours!)

I think there are no men in my world. I saw in my life, Italians, French, Russians in my lifetime... Thanks to Montesquieu I also know that we can be Persians. But in my world I've never seen a real man. Now I really know what this word means.

J'ai aussi traduit des phrases :

“We can’t go tomorrow,” I told her. ---> "Nous ne pourrons pas y aller demain", lui dis-je.

“He must be deranged,” I thought. ----> "Il doit être dérangé", pensais-je.

"I’ll phone you next week,” I promised. ----> "Je t'appellerai la semaine prochaine", promis-je.

“We moved to town two years ago,” he said. ---> "Nous avons déménagé en ville il y a deux ans", dit-il.

“I heard the news yesterday,” she whispered ---> "J'ai entendu les nouvelles hier", murmura-t-elle. Tu penses à autre chose quand tu fais tes exercices ? Pense à toujours te relire, particulièrement le jour de l'examen.

1. J’ai dit à Ben qu’il avait l’air fatigué. ---> I told Ben that he seemed looked tired.

2. Il m’a dit qu’il ne pouvait pas le faire tout seul. ---> He told me that he couldn't do it himself.

3. Elle m’a dit qu’ils l’avaient arrêté il y a deux mois. ---> She told me that they had arrested him two months ago.

4. Il a dit que c’étaient pas ? ses affaires. ---> He told me that it was not his business.

5. Je lui ai dit qu’il devrait prendre des vacances. ---> I told him that he should take a break.

Merci de votre aide

[melle05]

Il a dit que c’étaient ses affaires. ___> excuses moi je me suis trompe !

j'ai encore du mal avec la concordance des temps, merci pour ta correction

[Jean B]

Il a dit que c’étaient ses affaires. ___> excuses moi je me suis trompe ! OK mais dans ce cas, pourquoi as-tu mis la négation ? =>> "He told me that it was not his business."

j'ai encore du mal avec la concordance des temps, merci pour ta correction You're welcome.