Correction Texte

[jogy999]

Bonjour,

voilà je voulais savoir si vous pouviez, s'il vous plait, m'aider à corriger mon texte ?

Firt, unhesitatingly, Henry Ford is the one that represents the most the economic success. The reason that seems obvious to me is related to the respective time of these two characters (Steve Jobs and him). Henry Ford is behind Fordism. In fact it was him who in 1913 first implemented the assembly line for his famous Model T, a system that has helped considerably increase the production to a larger scale and to generate amazing income for the period . He tried to change the society for greater good. He attempted to invent a new vehicle powered by gas. Henry Ford wanted this machine to help people by changing the way people get from place to another. He knew it was going to cost tons of money, but he did it anyway, which is what made him a hero.

Ford embodies the second industrial revolution that is automobile. It's mostly thanks to him that there is mass production.

If he had not invented that, Steve Jobs wouldn't have produced so many Iphones. After all Steve Jobs had just to "ride the computing wave" already well established when he founded the company in 1976 and the Apple Macintosh in 1984 . It embodies the third industrial revolution that is IT , the digital revolution and globalization .

Bill Gates created Microsoft from nothing and took a risk by creating/doing/making his own business.

He put his intelligence and his talents with computers to good use. He worked hard to get Microsoft off the ground.

He invented an operating system that was better than all the other things at the time(de l'époque) then once it became the industry standard he made sure the folks at Microsoft kept improving it.

He expanded on the success with Windows and developed other software applications that are useful (like Word, PowerPoint, Excel) , that helps us a lot in math, physics, and in all other realms.

He has helped thousands people to find a job and every year he gives millions of dollars to charity.

Jeff Bezoz has created Amazon , a website that, thanks to it, we can purchase what we want without moving: people use their car less , there are also less pollution. That helped a lot of people and prices often are better than in stores .

We can also see a bright side : the advanced of technologies and that, it's very good . We can only agree.

But some of these heroes hide a dark side. Indeed a lot a industries employ underpaid people and bosses of this kind of industries fill their pockets on the backs of these poor people. Take for example Apple factories implanted in China where many workers are now sick, poisoned by chemicals used in the manufacturing of our iPhone, iPad and other gadgets that have become indispensable in Westerners' daily . After studying the document on Steve Jobs and searching some information about Apple's factories, I was shocked by the story of a man who is poisoned two years ago while he manufactured iPhones in a factory.

When he discovered he had serious health problems, he sent a letter to Steve Jobs asking him for help for his medical care: a few months later, he did not answer.

Steve Jobs was never interested in the diseases of the poor workers.

To my mind they are all heroes because they have somehow changed the world and made it easier for may people and indeed for the whole world .But unfortunately some hiding a dark side, you should always be careful and should always think about what we buy, what we do to or what we see! Especially/Mainly in the world in which we live ...

Thanks a lot ! : )

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Tiens donc, ça me rappelle quelque chose...

First, unhesitatingly, Henry Ford is the one that best represents the most the economic success. The reason that seems obvious to me is related to the respective time of these two characters (Steve Jobs and him). Henry Ford is behind Fordism. In fact it was him who in 1913 first implemented the assembly line for his famous Model T, a system that has helped considerably increase the production to a larger scale and to generate amazing income for the period. He tried to change the better society for greater good. He attempted to invent a new vehicle powered by gas. Henry Ford wanted this machine to help people by changing the way people they got from one place to another. He knew it was going to cost tons of money, but he did it anyway, which is what made him a hero.

Ford embodies the second industrial revolution that is automobile. It's mostly thanks to him that there is mass production today.

If he had not invented that, Steve Jobs wouldn't have produced so many Iphones. After all Steve Jobs had just to "ride the computing wave" already well established when he founded the company in 1976 and the Apple Macintosh in 1984. It embodies the third industrial revolution that is IT, the digital revolution and globalization.

Bill Gates created Microsoft from nothing and took a risk by developing his own business.

He put his intelligence and his talents with computers to good use. He worked hard to get Microsoft off the ground.

He invented an operating system that was better than all the others things at the time. Then once it became the industry standard he made sure the folks at Microsoft kept improving it.

He expanded on the success with Windows and developed other software applications that are useful (like Word, PowerPoint, Excel), that and help us a lot in maths, physics and in all other realms.

He has helped thousands people to find a job and every year he gives millions of dollars to charities.

Jeff Bezoz has created Amazon, a website that, thanks to it, through which we can purchase what we want without moving: people use their cars less , there are is also less pollution.<La honte soit sur toi !Tu ne te relis donc jamais ? That helped a lot of people and prices often are better than in stores .

We can also see a bright side: the advanced of technology and that, it's is very good. <Il n'y a pas de double sujet en anglais. Mémorise-le. We can only agree.

But some of these heroes hide a dark side. Indeed a lot a industries employ underpaid people and bosses of this kind of industries fill their pockets on the backs of these poor people. Take for example Apple factories implanted established in China where many workers are now sick, poisoned by chemicals used in the manufacturing of our iPhones, iPads and other gadgets that have become indispensable in Westerners' daily lives. After studying the document on Steve Jobs and searching some information about Apple's factories, I was shocked by the story of a man who is was poisoned two years ago while he manufactured iPhones in a factory.

When he discovered he had serious health problems, he sent a letter to Steve Jobs asking him for help for his medical care: a few months later, he did not get an answer.Ou bien tu reprends avec le nom sujet : Steve Jobs did not bother to answer.

Steve Jobs was never interested in the diseases of the poor workers.

To my mind they are all heroes because they have somehow changed the world and made it easier for many people and indeed for the whole world. But unfortunately, some people hiding the dark side of things, you we should always be careful and should always think about what we buy, what we do to or what we see especially in the world in which we live ... Puisque de toute évidence tu te sens impliquée, tu dois conserver le pronom sujet we et ne pas le mixer avec you. Do you get me?

Thanks a lot ! : )

[jogy999]

Bonjour,

je voulais vous remercier pour votre aide ! : ) Merci encore