Correction D'une Suite De Texte

[lauranna]

Bonjour,

Mon devoir est de créer la suite d'un texte.

Le texte qu'il faut finir :

At last, D-Day arrived. I had turned eighteen, the supposedage of freedom and my father was laying on my shoulders the worst burden I could think of. Worse, he didn’t even realize it. Worst of all, he was overjoyed.

“Here we are, Jim. You’ve got the keys, I’m going to show you around and make you visit every corner. Remember the fate of this empire is in your hands now.” He declared solemnly when we reached the threshold.

Voici mon texte :

It was the first time I went into his empire : it was a wonderful factory who produced pastries. Every time my father had came back from work with some delicious dessert but I had not think one time it can come from the

factory of my father, for me dad was a owner of a factory but he didn’t talk of what his was made. I asked him why didn’t show me that before and he answered “My son, I wanted to let you surprise, when I was eighteen my father given me his empire I was not prepared like you and now I am the best producer of the state of pastries and today I want you to live the same thing !” I was a little scared because I didn’t know how to managed but it was the best surprised my father can offered me for my birthday. So we started to visited the factory: there was a place where there is only chocolate, every kind of chocolate, it is a paradise, another for the conception, there was a lot of thing but the best for me it was the place where we tasted all the dessert before being delivered to the bakeries of the states. Four year later I created The Chocolate Guiness Cake and now it’s the most popular cake in our country.

Now my son, Mark, you know the story and you are eighteen today so it’s your turn to manage the factory “From father to son” take it care please.”

Merci d'avance

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonjour,

Mon devoir est de créer la suite d'un texte.

At last, D-Day arrived. I had turned eighteen, the supposed age of freedom and my father was laying on my shoulders the worst burden I could think of. Worse, he didn’t even realize it. Worst of all, he was overjoyed.

“Here we are, Jim. You’ve got the keys, I’m going to show you around and make you visit every corner. Remember the fate of this empire is in your hands now.” He declared solemnly when we reached the threshold.

It was the first time I went into his empire : it was a wonderful factory who which produced pastries. <Révise les pronoms relatifs ! Every time My father had always came come back from work with some delicious desserts but I had not never once think thought one time it can could come from the factory of my father.- past perfect = auxiliaire had + participe passé du verbe

- une fois = once - deux fois = twice - trois, quatre, cinq, etc. fois = three, four, five etc. times jusqu'à l'infini Nouvelle phrase> for To me dad was a the owner of a factory but he didn’t talk of what his he was made making. Tu confonds prétérit simple passif et prétérit progressif actif. Comment est-ce possible ? I asked him why he didn’t show hadn't shown me that before and he answered <action passée antérieure à une autre = past perfect. Exactement comme le plus-que-parfait français. “My son, I wanted it to let you be a surprise. My father given gave me his empire when I was eighteen but I was not prepared like you. Nouvelle phrase> Now I am the best pastry producer of in the state of pastries and today I want you to live the same thing !” - Révise les verbes irréguliers qu'il faut tous connaître sans la moindre hésitation. - L'anglais, pas plus que le français, ne s'écrit " au kilomètre " ! Tu sembles également ignorer l'usage des mots de liaison. -Toutes les fois que possible, utilise un nom composé plutôt que of + nom qui exprime surtout une possession.I was a little scared because I didn’t know how to managed but it was the best surprised my father can could offered me for my birthday . to + base verbale, c'est du B.A-BA - modal + base verbale, c'est aussi du B.A-BA So we started to visited <Idem the factory : there was a place where there is was only chocolate, every kind of chocolate, it is was a paradise, another one for the conception design, there was were a lot of things but the best for to me it was the place where we tasted all the desserts before being they were delivered to the bakeries of the states. Four years later I created The Chocolate Guiness Cake and now it’s the most popular cake in our country. Now my son, Mark, you know the story and you are eighteen today so it’s your turn to manage the factory “From father to son” take it care of it please.”