Correction Texte

[jogy999]

Hello, I have done my homework and I would like to know if you could help me to correct it.

At the beginning of the extract of “Bowling for Columbine “ we can see a man who wants to open an account in a bank that entitles him to a free gun. The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms. The bank carries out any all checks required before giving him the rifle. Than I find it shoking when this man goes to the barber with his gun in his hands to buy bullets while getting a haircut. Then we saw the Michigan Militia in a camp and told that the right to bear arms is an American tradition and an unarmed man is not responsible for and must defend his family and those who don’t do so fail in their duty to America.

In fact if you don’t have weapons you’re not a man and I find it completely absurd ! We also learn that everyone has a gun in the militia even women. Arms markets and games with guns are very common and children as well as senios like to participate. In Virgin , in a little town of Utah a law requires all citizens to own a gun. The excerpt shows even a blind person has a weapon. I think it’s uncredible and dangerous. He can kill anyone during a bulgary for example.

The National Rifle Association (NRA) is an American non-profit, with the aim of promoting firearms in the United States and the defense of the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. The NRA defends free trade in firearms, survival training, skills shooting, and sports shooting. They are well-trained. The organization which was established in 1871 in the State of New York as the American Rifle Association today boasts nearly four million members.

Gun violence is associated with a high rate of fatalities in the United States; it is an intensely debated political issue in the United States as, since the 1970s, the political right has assumed a stance of individual rights to possess guns. Gun-related violence is most common in poor urban areas and frequently associated with gang violence, often involving male juveniles or young adult males. In many American’video games, weapons are common as the Colt 45 that many gangs use.In 2009, according to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, 67% of all homicides in the United States were perpetrated using a firearm. Indeed on the Brady Campaign’s poster we can see that the number of deaths by firearms is on average 50 to 600 times higher in America than in most countries.The statistics are ghastly. Indeed, 17 people died in Finland against nine thousand in the United States in one year and there are on average 250 million firearms which are circulating in the country. However it is estimated that a gunman has 22 times more lucky to kill a family member than a potential aggressor.

Unlike other countries where the sale of firearms is heavily regulated, in America this sale is free (we can purchase them) and people are entitled to guns.This is enshrined in the Constitution. Indeed the U.S. Constitution contains 27 amendments and the Second amendment makes the carrying of weapons legally "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." In fact The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution is the part of the United States Bill of Rights that protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, along with the rest of the Bill of Rights. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that the Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess and carry firearms.This amendment allows U.S. citizens to freely hold one or more weapons and use them just as freely. The poster copes with this problem and militates in favour of the abolition of free movement of weapons in America.

What strikes me the most is that many killings occurred in the USA because of the weapons (for example the incident which occurred at Columbine or the one at Newton Elementary School on December the 14, 2012 which killed 27 people). It's very appalling. After that an idea grows up : arm teachers with guns. I think it’s very stupid and crazy !

To sum up I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without using weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrongly !

Thank you for helping out .

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

At the beginning of the extract of “Bowling for Columbine “ we can see a man who wants to open an account in a bank that entitles him to a free gun. The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms. The bank carries out any all checks required before giving him the rifle. Than I find it shocking am shocked when this man goes to the barber's with his gun in his hands to buy bullets while getting a haircut. Then we saw see the Michigan Militia in a camp and are told that the right to bear arms is an American tradition and an unarmed man is not responsible for regarded irresponsible and must defend his family and those who don’t do so fail in their duty to America. <Tu as commencé par un présent, il est logique de continuer par le présent.

< find a surtout le sens de trouver qqch que l'on avait perdu. Méfie-toi des calques d'expressions françaises.

In fact if you don’t have weapons you’re not a man and I find think it is completely absurd! We also learn that everyone has a gun in the militia even women. Arms markets and games with guns are very common and children as well as senios like to participate. In Virgin, in a little town of in Utah, a law requires all citizens to own a gun. The excerpt shows even a blind person has a weapon. I think it’s incredible and dangerous. He can might kill anyone during a burglary for example. <Même si c'est du domaine du possible, ça reste une éventualité =>> may/might plutôt que can/could, selon le degré de probabilité qu'on y accorde.

The National Rifle Association (NRA) is an American non-profit one, with the aim of promoting firearms in the United States and the defense of the Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States. The NRA defends free trade in firearms, survival training, skills shooting, and sports shooting. They are well-trained. The organization which was established in 1871 in the State of New York as the American Rifle Association today boasts nearly four million members.

Gun violence is associated with a high rate of fatalities in the United States; it is an intensely debated political issue in the United States as, since the 1970s, the political right has assumed a stance of individual rights to possess guns. Gun-related violence is most common in poor urban areas and frequently associated with gang violence, often involving male juveniles or young adult males. In many American video games, weapons are common as the Colt 45 that many gangs use. In 2009, according to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, 67% of all homicides in the United States were perpetrated using a firearm. Indeed on the Brady Campaign’s poster we can see that the number of deaths by firearms is on average 50 to 600 times higher in America than in most countries.The statistics are ghastly. Indeed, 17 people died in Finland against nine thousand in the United States in one year and there are on average 250 million firearms which are circulating in the country. However it is estimated that a gunman has 22 times more lucky chances to kill a family member than a potential aggressor.

Unlike other countries where the sale of firearms is heavily regulated, in America this sale it is free in America (we can purchase them) and people are entitled to guns. <Petit problème de construction This is enshrined in the Constitution. Indeed the U.S. Constitution contains 27 amendments and the Second amendment makes the carrying of weapons legally <L'adjectif, pas l'adverbe "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." In fact The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution is the part of the United States Bill of Rights that protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, along with the rest of the Bill of Rights. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that the Second Amendment protects an individual's right to possess and carry firearms.This amendment allows U.S. citizens to freely hold one or more weapons and use them just as freely. The poster copes with this problem and militates in favour of the abolition of free movement of weapons in America.

What strikes me the most is that many killings occurred in the USA because of the weapons (for example the incident which occurred at Columbine or the one at Newton Elementary School on December the 14, 2012 which killed 27 people). It's very appalling. After that an idea is growing up: arming teachers with guns. I think it’s very stupid and crazy! < Dans une date, the se prononce à l'oral mais ne s'écrit pas.

To sum up I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without using weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrongly!

NB Pense à réactualiser ton profil car je doute que tu sois encore en CE1. Merci.