Texte sur Tim Hortons

[lauranna]

Bonjour,

J'adresse se message particulierement a JRB. Certes le devoirs que j'ai posté jeudi etait une copie du site Tim Hortons et de Wikipedia.

Tout d'abord, je tenais a m'excuser d'avoir posté cette copie en le fesant passé pour mon devoirs

Et aussi, j'en ai refait un ecrit seulement par moi.

Serait ce possible d'avoir une correction ?

Voici mon texte:

I’m going to present the Canadian chain of restaurant Tim Hortons. It was founded by the famous ice hockey player: Tim Horton and a businessman called Ron Joyce. But when Tim Horton died in an accident Ron Joyce bought the actions of Horton and he became the only owner.

The first Tim Hortons opened in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. On the firsts establishment there was just coffee and donuts with two creations: The apple fried and the Dutchie. Who stay until now some of the best products.

The big change was in 1976 with the TIMBITS. It’s delicious donut dough balls fried. When they arrived they immediately loved by consumers. Now in stores we count 35 varieties. And Dunkin Donuts sells and call it Munchkins.

From 1986, all the years during approximately three months, the chains “sort” a campaign called Roll up the Rim to win : on all the cup of hot beverage there is a message at the edge and you have to look if you win a prize : there is televisions, cars (uncommon)… It’s very frequent to win a coffee or a donut. When I went to Canada, my aunt who drink everyday a coffee, won approximately three times in one week but coffee and donuts not a television!

At present, there are some 3200 restaurants in Canada and 600 in United States. And Tim Hortons is the chains that exceed all of the country. Even McDonald’s, Starbucks and subway.

Merci d'avance

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

L'erreur étant humaine par définition, je ne te condamne pas.

I’m going to present the Canadian chain of restaurant Tim Hortons. It was founded by the famous ice hockey player, Tim Horton and a businessman called Ron Joyce. But when Tim Horton died in an accident Ron Joyce bought the actions of Horton and he became the only owner.

The first Tim Hortons establishment opened in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. On The first establishment one there was just only served coffee and doughnuts <orthographe anglaise SVP with two creations: the apple fried and the Dutchie Who which stay have remained until now some of the best products up to now / so far.<Efforce-toi d'employer un vocabulaire précis sinon riche et, en tous cas, évite les simples be /have.

The big change was happened in 1976 with the TIMBITS. It’s delicious fried doughnut dough balls fried. <L'adjectif toujours AVANT le nom. When they arrived they immediately loved by consumers Customers loved them straight away as soon as they were served some. ou bien They were loved immediately by customers as soon as they started being served. <Il est grammaticalement anormal, sinon au moins curieux, pour ne pas dire erroné, de commencer une phrase par une conjonction de temps. Now in stores we can count as many as 35 varieties. And Dunkin Donuts sells and call it Munchkins.<??? Moi-y-en-a-pas-comprendre charabia !

From 1986, all the years Every year since 1986, during approximately three months, the chains “sort” carry out a campaign called Roll up the Rim to win: on all the cup of hot beverage there is a message at the edge on the rim of all cups of hot beverage and you have to look if you win a prize : there is are television sets, cars (uncommon)… It’s very frequent to win a coffee or a donut. When I went to Canada, my aunt who drinks everyday a coffee every day, won approximately three times in one week but coffee and donuts not a television set!

At present Presently there are some 3200 restaurants in Canada and 600 in the United States. And Tim Hortons is the chains that exceed surpasses all of the others in the country, even McDonald’s, Starbucks and Subway.

[lauranna]

Merci beaucoup

Et tu as raison il faut que je songe a retourné au canada chez ma famille pendant un petit moment.

Ca pourrais etre bénéfique