Correction d'un texte

[lauranna]

Bonjour,

J'ai un oral sur une personne ou une entreprise de celebre. J'ai choisis Tim Horton et j'ai bien peur de faire trop compliqué et evidement je ne pense pas que ce texte soit parfait. Serait-ce possible d'avoir une correction ?

The Tim Hortons chain was founded in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canadaby Jim Charade businessman and ice hockey player Tim Horton professional. The chain's focus on top quality, always fresh product, value, great service and community leadership has allowed it to grow into the largest quick service restaurant chain in Canada specializing in always fresh coffee, baked goods and homestyle lunches.

The first Tim Hortons restaurants offered only two products - coffee and donuts. The selection of donuts was highlighted by two original Tim Hortons creations, the Apple Fritter and the Dutchie. They became the most popular donut choices in the 60's, and remain two of the most popular today.

As of July 1st, 2012, Tim Hortons had 4,071 systemwide restaurants, including 3,326 in Canada, 734 in the United States and 11 in the Gulf Cooperation Council.

Tim Hortons commands 76% of the Canadian market for baked goods and holds 62% of the Canadian coffee market compared to Starbucks, in the number two position, at 7%. The chain accounted for 22.6% of all fast food industry revenues in Canada in 2005.

Each March, Tim Hortons holds a marketing campaign called Roll Up the Rim to Win. Over 31 million prizes are distributed each year, including vehicles, televisions, and store products. Customers determine if they have won prizes by unrolling the rim on their paper cups when they have finished their drink.

The Roll up the Rim campaign was first held in 1986.

Merci d'avance

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Puisque tu t'es contentée de faire un simple copié/collé du site Tim Hortons, tu te passeras de mes services.

J'ai pour habitude de ne corriger que les travaux originaux, pas les simples copies.