Correction BAC

[jogy999]

Bonsoir,

voilà j'ai un texte à faire et j'aurais besoin d'un correction s'il vous plait : )

At the beginning of the extract we can see , in a bank, a man who wants to open an account that gives the right to a free gun. The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms.The bank carries out any checks required before to give him the rifle. Then we can see (trop de répétition qu'est-ce que je pourrais mettre à la place? ) a child with his first gun. As a teenager he was so good shooter that won the prize of "National Rifle Association".

Then we have an interview with a police officer who said that two men have filmed a dog dressed as a hunter with a rifle on his back just for fun. The weapon was then slipped, the dog shot and the bullet is returned to the shin of the victim. The dog was not in custody. Then I find shocking when the man of the beginning of the extract goes to the barber with his rifle in his hands and buy bullets while getting a haircut. Then we see the Michigan Militia in a camp and told that the carrying of weapons guns is an American tradition and an unarmed man is not responsible for and must defend his family and those who do not fail in his duty to America. (ici je veux dire que ceux qui ne le font pas manque à leur devoir d'américain )

In fact if you do not have weapons you're not a man, I find it completely absurd.

We also learn that everyone has a weapon in the militia even women. Arms markets and games with guns are very numerous and the children as well as seniors like to participate. In Utah a law requires all citizens to own a gun. The excerpt shows even a blind have a weapon. I find it incredible and dangerous. He can kill anyone during a burglary for example.

Personally, I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without of weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrong. The three murders that we have seen in the extract are very shocking, indeed at anytime someone can killed us in the street. On top of that the testimonials are incredible, they sent shivers down my spine ! To sum up this is a smart and very critical of America today documentary that makes us thinking .

Thanks a lot : )

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

At the beginning of the extract we can see a man who wants to open an account in a bank, that gives him the right to hold/keep/have a gun freely.- Il est toujours préférable de ne pas séparer verbe et COD.

- Sauf erreur de ma part, ce n'est pas l'arme qui est libre mais sa détention par le client.The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms. The bank carries out any all checks required before to give giving him the rifle. préposition + v-ing, c'est à mémoriser.Then we can see (trop de répétition qu'est-ce que je pourrais mettre à la place? ) a child shows himself /appears with his first gun. As a teenager, he was is so good a target shooter that he won the prize of the "National Rifle Association".Pourquoi avoir mis le passé au verbe d'état ? Il n'est plus bon tireur ?

Then we have an interview with a police officer who said that two men have filmed a dog dressed as a hunter with a rifle on his its back just for fun. The weapon was then slipped down, the dog shot rifle went off and the bullet is returned to hit the shin of the victim.Même s'il est très doué, ce n'est quand même pas le chien qui a appuyé sur la gâchette. The dog was not remanded in custody. Then I find think it is shocking / I am shocked

In fact if you do not have weapons you're not a man, I find think it is completely absurd when the man of the beginning of the extract goes to the barber's with his rifle in his hands and buys bullets while getting a haircut.Attention aux calques du français : find a surtout le sens de trouver qqch au sens propre, qqch que l'on avait perdu. Then we see the Michigan Militia in a camp and are told that the carrying of weapons/guns is an American tradition.weapons = armes <---> guns = pistolet/révolver/fusil, ce sont des quasi-synonymes. Nouvelle phrase> An unarmed man is not responsible for regarded as irresponsible and because he can't defend his family whereas he must do so, and so that those who don't do so fail in his their duty to America. (ici je veux dire que ceux qui ne le font pas manque à leur devoir d'américain ) Fais un effort sur les link words : conséquence/opposition/conséquence, comme ici. Il y en a beaucoup d'autres...

We also learn that everyone has a weapon in the militia even women. Arm markets and games with guns are very numerous and the children as well as seniors like to participate. In Utah a law requires all citizens to own a gun. The excerpt shows even a blind person has a weapon. I find think it is incredible and dangerous. He can kill anyone during a burglary for example.

Personally, I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without of weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrongly. The three murders that we have seen in the extract are very shocking, indeed at anytime someone can killed us in the street. On top of that the testimonials are incredible, they sent shivers down my spine! To sum up this is a smart and very critical documentary of America today that makes us thinking .N'oublie quand même pas qu'un modal est toujours suivi d'une BV. Bonne continuation.