Sketch à corriger ou à modifier

[ghiz]

Coucou a tous ! je suis nouvelles, je ne sais pas encore comment fonctionne le site, mais je me lance !

voilà, j'ai besoin d'aide pour la correction d'un "play" en anglais, et si possible, si vous sentez qu'il faudra rajouter quelque chose n’hésitez pas à me l’écrire, je vous en serait très reconnaissante !

se sketch avait pour but d'être rigolo, mais il faut avouer ce qui est réel : je n'ai pas d'humour ! donc si quelqu'un par chance en a n’hésitez pas non plus à m'en faire don.

voilà donc mon écrit;

Play : Revenge of Bridesmaid

1st scene: the bride chamber

1. (Johara) Wow! you're very pretty in there, this dress is really beautiful on you (hypocrite)

2. (Ghizlane) Is it true? Oh thank you so much guys, I’m glad that you're here for my wedding; I did well to choose you as bridesmaids! Also your dress looks great.

3. (Hajar, Sakina, Johara, Sophia) Yeah, we think so.

4. (Sophia) Sniff, I think that I will not take a long time before I explode (said by leaning close to sakina) my ex fiancé is going to marry this trout! Oh my god, what have I done to deserve this? Why me? Why my damn future husband leaves me for that turkey who does not even know matching colors? For money? And why have I accepted to wear this canary yellow dress? Am I stupid? Does she contaminate me by her stupidity?

5. (Sakina) Do not worry about it sweetie, we will take revenge!

6. (Ghizlane) Wait me there, I'll go see what my mother makes, restyle you girls, you do not look like anything more! And you, stop crying! The bridesmaids are the most important in a marriage.

7. (Hajar) Don’t worry about it dear, go ahead we will join you later (the bride leaves the room)

8. (Johara) Who did she think is? Barbie? She doesn’t even have the character!

9. (Sophia) Nor even beauty!

10. (Hajar) Don’t worry about it Sophia, your fiancé must surely regret marrying another minx at the time it is.

11. (Sophia) Sniff, yet he did not seem to regret it!

12. (Sakina) Then we will make it to be! Come on girls! I have an idea about what we can do to avenge us ...

2nd Scene: Police Inspector, after the husband's kidnapping...

1. (Ali) Well, it's simple, or confess me what happened and you give me the names of those who have participated to his kidnapping, or I'll put you _ all in jail and you will stay there until the one of you abdicate to my requests!

2. …

3. …

4. …

5. …

6. (Hajar)I don’t understand why we're here Mr. Inspector, who tells you that it is us who have made such a mess at the wedding?

7. (Johara) Yeah it's true! We know the groom for so long; it is our friend why we would do something like that?

8. (Sakina) She was his ex fiancé (pointing Sophia who starts to cry) we would never do anything to him.

9. (Ali) That’s why your friend is the suspect number one, because she was his fiancé before her.

10. (Ghizlane) So why am I here? (the bride)

11. (Ali) Because you’re the bride, the first person concerned, so you have to stay here for your deposition.

12. (Sakina) And us? If she is the suspect number one (Sophia) why are we here?

13. (Ali) Is she not your friend?

14. (Johara) Yes, but it is not a reason for us to go to jail because of her!

15. (Sophia) What did you say?

16. (Hajar) What else! The inspector said that you are the suspect number one, why should we stay here with you?

17. (Sophia) But I did nothing! It was you who did it! Moreover, it is even Johara who wrap him in the carpet!

18. (Johara) Yes but it was Hajar who got the idea of the carpet, I just wanted to help you, and then the one that had the idea of revenge, it is not me but Sakina!

19. (Sakina) We all agreed!

20. (Ali) Okay girls you are all suspicious now!

j'espère que vous ne vous ennuierez pas à me lire ! merci d'avance pour votre aide ! et puis bonne journée à tous ^^

PS: le sketch doit normalement durer entre 5 à 10 min, je ne sais pas c'est le cas, donc dites moi si je dois rajouter d'autre phrases ou non. merci beaucoup pour votre aide !

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Play : The revenge of the bridesmaid ou mieux The bridesmaid's revenge.

1st scene: the bride's chamber (bed)room

1. (Johara) Wow! you're very pretty in there, this dress is really beautiful on you (hypocrite)

2. (Ghizlane) Is it true? Oh thank you so much guys, I’m glad that you're here for my wedding; I did well was quite right to choose you as bridesmaids! Also your dress looks great.<Attention aux calques du français !

3. (Hajar, Sakina, Johara, Sophia) Yeah, we think so.

4. (Sophia) Sniff, I think that I it will not take a long time before I explode (said by leaning close to sakina)<??? my ex fiancé is going to marry this trout! Oh my god, what have I done to deserve this? Why me? Why my damn future husband leaves me for that turkey who does not even know how to match colors? For money? And why have I accepted to wear this canary yellow dress? Am I stupid? Does she contaminate me by her stupidity?

5. (Sakina) Don't worry about it sweetie, we will take revenge!

6. (Ghizlane) Wait for me there, I'll go and see what my mother makes is doing, restyle you do your hair girls, you do not no longer look like anything more on earth! And you, stop crying! The bridesmaids are the most important persons in a marriage.

7. (Hajar) Don’t worry about it dear, go ahead we will join you later (the bride leaves the room)

8. (Johara) Who did does she think she is?<Pourquoi ce preterit tout à coup ? Barbie? She doesn’t even have the her character!

9. (Sophia) Nor even her beauty!

10. (Hajar) Don’t worry about it Sophia, your fiancé must surely regret marrying another minx at the this moment in time it is.<Attention encore aux calques du français !

11. (Sophia) Sniff, yet he did not seem to regret it!

12. (Sakina) Then we will make it to be come true! Come on girls! I have an idea about what we can do to avenge us ...

2nd Scene: Police Inspector, after the husband's kidnapping...

1. (Ali) Well, it's simple, or either you confess me what happened and you give me the names of those who have participated to in his kidnapping him, or I'll put you all in jail and you will stay there until the one of you abdicate to answers / complies with / my requests!

2. …

3. …

4. …

5. …

6. (Hajar)I don’t understand why we're here Mr. Inspector sir, who tells you that it is us who have made such a mess at the wedding?

7. (Johara) Yeah it's true! We have known the groom for so long; it he is our friend why would we do something like that?

8. (Sakina) She was is his ex fiancée (pointing to Sophia who starts to cry crying) we would never do anything to him.

9. (Ali) That’s why your friend is the suspect number one, because she was his fiancée before her.

10. (Ghizlane) So why am I here? (the bride)

11. (Ali) Because you’re the bride, the first person concerned, so you have to stay here for to sign your statement / deposition.

12. (Sakina) And what about us? If she is the suspect number one (Sophia) why are we here?

13. (Ali) Is she not your friend?

14. (Johara) Yes, but it is not a reason for us to go to jail because of her!

15. (Sophia) What did you say?

16. (Hajar) What else! The inspector said that you are the suspect number one, why should we stay here with you?

17. (Sophia) But I did nothing! It was you who did it! Moreover, it is even Johara who wrapped him in the carpet!

18. (Johara) Yes but it was Hajar who got the idea of the carpet, I just wanted to help you, and then the one that had the idea of revenge, it is not me but Sakina!

19. (Sakina) We all agreed!

20. (Ali) Okay girls you are all suspicious suspects now!

PS: le sketch doit normalement durer entre 5 à 10 min, je ne sais pas c'est le cas, donc dites moi si je dois rajouter d'autre phrases ou non. merci beaucoup pour votre aide !