Aide à la correction

[loulouloulou989898]

Bonjour est ce que quelqu'un peut m'aider à corriger mes fautes svp! Merci énormement

If I could change one important thing about my country , it would be the school system.

I will give the following reasons to explain why I want to solve this problem.

First of all , I think that pupils here in France have too much school hours .

Indeed they have large planning because they have school in morning and in afternoon as we can see with this planning example:

In my opinion, we have to stop with this kind of system , which doesn't seem to be a beneficial one for them .

They should have less hours of school to improve their acknowledgement and to be more concentrated during classes.

Futhermore if we reduce their school hours, they will be able to spend more times with their family , their friends or their closes.

I think that we have to draw one 's inspiration from the italian or the german school system.

Indeed with these kind of system french pupils will learn in morning and have an activity for example sport in afternoon to rest and to fell better mentally and physically.

Put inside school hours problem , there is also here in france for me a problem with school elite.

Another reason why I want to change my country's school system is because of the importance of school elite today in France

Indeed I think that in France we care too much about diploma and qualifications: It's as that without it we can't success in society

For me everybody needs a chance to prove itself !

Diploma and qualifications make only pressure and competition between peoples

Morever they had done inequalities of chances and of conditions in the french school system!

In conclusion I think that the french school system is not a good one , because pupils have too much school hours , and they are all time in competion .

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

If I could change one important thing about my country, it would be the school system.

I will give the following reasons to explain why I want to solve this problem.<C'est scolaire, voire puéril, donc inutile. Tu vas donner tes raisons juste après et ton professeur sait lire.

First of all, I think that pupils here in France have too much school hours.<Le nom qui suit est pluriel ! Rectifie.

Indeed they have large planning heavy timetables because they have school in the mornings and in the afternoons as we can see with on this planning timetable / schedule example:

In my opinion, we have to stop with this kind of system which doesn't seem to be a beneficial one for to them .

They should have less hours of school courses to improve their acknowledgement knowledge and (to) be more concentrated during classes.

Futhermore if we reduce their school hours, they will be able to spend more times with their family, their friends or their closes close relatives / relations / next of kin.< close n'a que la fonction adjectif.

I think that we have to draw one 's our inspiration from the Italian or the German school systems. - L'adjectif possessif doit s'accorder en nombre avec le pronom sujet auquel il correspond. C'est à mémoriser.

- Tous les adjectifs et noms de nationalités et langues vivantes prennent une MAJUSCULE. C'est à mémoriser itou.

Indeed with these kind of system french pupils will learn in x morning and have an activity for example sport in x afternoon to rest and to fell better both mentally and physically. - À présent, c'est à toi de corriger les fautes déjà signalées que je me contente désormais de baliser.

- Révise les verbes irréguliers et corrige donc cette bévue monumentale. Il faut absolument les connaître par coeur sans la moindre hésitation, c'est primordial.

Put inside school hours problem, <??? there is also here in france for me a problem with x school elite. <Cette "phrase" est horriblement mal ficelée car trop visiblement calquée sur le français.

Reformule ce que tu as voulu dire en composant une phrase simple et compréhensible : sujet + verbe + COD + autres compléments. Et pour l'amour du Ciel, évite de traduire ce que tu as d'abord écrit en français. OUBLIE le français, concentre-toi sur les structures, expressions, grammaire, vocabulaire de l'anglais, puis rédige ta phrase DIRECTEMENT en anglais. Même si le résultat n'est pas forcément parfait, il y a fort à parier que ça sonnera un peu plus anglais.

Another reason why I want to change my country's school system is because of the importance of x school elite today in France. <my country et France, c'est redondant, non ?

Indeed I think that in France we care too much about diploma and qualifications: It's as that without it we can't success in society < C'est du charabia. Pour autant que j'aie compris ce que tu as voulu dire =>> it's as if we couldn't succeed in society without being graduated.

For me everybody needs a chance to prove itself ! < Vois plus haut l''accord de l'adjectif possessif et rectifie.

Diploma and qualifications make only pressure and competition between peoples. - faire / mettre la / pression sur qqn = to put pressure on sb

Morever they had done inequalities of chances and of conditions in the french school system! <Phrase à compléter en employant une tournure passive. =>> Moreover inequalities of opportunity and conditions ............................... in the French school system.

In conclusion I think that the french school system is not a good one because pupils have too much school hours and they are all the time in competion.