Ecriture personnelle

[sushy73]

Bonjour,

J'ai écrit ça mais je ne suis pas sûre de toute mes formulations.

Pouvez vous me corriger ?

Merci.

Imagine you are on holidays overseas. You come across a different society from yours, although not quite different after all. Describe it through one or two characters and one or two events.

I'm on holidays in Spain, Barcelona. I am in an apartment that could be called "Spanish inn". First of time, I'm with a German boy : Ulrich, and a Russian boy : Tom . Both speak French to my great happy! Ulrich is blond hair, blue eyes, not very tall, Tom He is brown hair with green eyes, it is very tall. Both have different cultures and I find it very interesting to talk with them. Tom is grown he speaks five languages​​, he told me about the food of the countries he visited, but what he loves above all is to tell me the traditions of Russia. Ulrich himself, is more reserved, but I learned new things about Germany, especially on the “Oktoberfest” something well known in their country. Tomorrow we go to “La Rambla”, there is a gathering of young people who come from different countries, I find it very interesting. We will discover new cultures and new languages. Finally Thursday, we go in as a tourist to discover the traditions of Catalonia and visit many monuments.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Dès la lecture de la première phrase, il apparaît clairement que tu as écrit ça d'abord en français avant de le " traduire " ensuite en anglais. La suite de la lecture le confirme, hélas.

Il faut absolument te persuader que c'est la pire méthode qui soit puisque le français et l'anglais ne fonctionnent absolument pas de la même manière.

Qui plus est, et sans vouloir te décourager, tu commets des fautes sur des notions de grammaire du niveau élémentaire.

Par exemple, tu emploies be à la place de have, les pronoms sujet au petit bonheur et j'en passe.

Alors, s'il te plaît, oublie ton texte de français, réfléchis à ce que tu souhaites écrire en t'aidant du dictionnaire et de ta grammaire et écris-le directement en anglais.

Même entaché de fautes, le résultat sera sûrement meilleur que ce texte qui sent la traduction à plein nez.

Au plaisir de te lire.

[sushy73]

C'est exactement ce que je fais en plus, j'écris d'abord mon texte en français puis je traduis petit à petit...

Bon je vais essayer de reprendre, je pense que c'est de là que vienne certaines de mes difficultés en anglais...

Par contre la première phrase je vois pas en quoi je peux la changer? J'ai repris en changeant des expressions etc... Je suis repartie sur la base de mon texte en français, mais j'ai comment dire pensé ? écrit? en anglais. J'ai essayé de ne pas traduire...

I am on holidays in Spain. I am in an apartment which we could name " Spanish Inn ". Indeed, I am with Ulrich a German, and Tom a Russian. Both speak French for my biggest Happy great !!He is fair (a moins que je laisse blond hair), with blue eyes. He is not very tall. Tom had brown hairs and green eye. He is very tall. Both have different cultures and I find that very interesting to speak with them. Tom is very cultivated he speaks about 5 language.He likes speaking to me about the food of the countries that he visited, but what he likes by top everything it is to tell me the traditions of Russia. Ulrich, is more reserved , but learnt me of new things on Germany, in particular on "beer festival" (ou je laisse Oktoberfest?) something very known in their country.

Tomorrow, we will go to Las Ramblas, there is a meeting of young people who come from different countries.I find that very interesting. We are going to discover new cultures and new languages. To finish on Thursday, we leave (we will?) in a tourist coach, to discover the traditions of Catalonia and to visit so many monuments.

[Jean B]

Allez, c'est re-parti...!

I am on holidays in Spain. I am in an apartment which we could name " Spanish Inn ". Indeed, I am with Ulrich a German, and Tom a Russian. Both speak French for my biggest Happy great to my greatest delight / joy! He is fair-haired (a moins que je laisse blond hair) with and blue-eyed.

[sushy73]

Merci pour vos explications, a chaque fois je me fais des fiches bristols avec vos remarques

J'espere qu'a force ça va rentrer !

[Jean B]

C'est une bonne méthode en effet et merci de ta confiance.

[yveslouis]

...He is not very tall. Tom had brown hair and green eye.

Serait-il un descendant de Polyphème ?

[Jean B]

...He is not very tall. Tom had brown hair and green eye.

Serait-il un descendant de Polyphème ?