Portrait Psychologique En Anglais

[sachh]

BONJOUR , j"ai une probleme , je dois rendre un devoir en présentant le portrait psychologique d'Ana , la femme décrite dans ce texte:

Why the caged bird sings

To reach New York City, Ana crawled into the United States through a moonlit drainpipe, trudged across the Arizona desert, scrunched onto the floor of a car to Los Angeles and landed at La Guardia Airport with almost nothing. She had not planned to stay long--only enough to pay back her sister the $1,000 smuggler's fee, work off some debts in Mexico and give her some space from a soon-to-be ex-husband. She couldn't imagine separating for long from her two children, left in the care of her mother.

That was six years ago, and Ana (not her real name) has yet to return to Mexico. Now 35, she has climbed through the ranks of the service economy from laundrywoman to maid to a successful broker for illegal cleaning women. Last year Ana made $50,000, and because her business is off the books, the money is tax-free. Such success has not come without a price. Ana cannot go home. To her children, she is now just the things she sends home: the latest videogame, the piles of clothing and the wired cash that has turned her relatives into the royal--and resented--family of an impoverished neighborhood.

[...]Like most people who sneak into the United States, she was simply following a family trail. Relatives had arrived illegally a few years before, and they took her in to their apartment in the New York borough of Queens. From there, the trail led to a job-placement service that charges $100 to find you work, papers or not, usually in less than a day. "If a restaurant required papers, nobody would work there," says the boss. "Who ever heard of an American dishwasher?" Ana took a job in Manhattan folding and delivering clothes for a laundry, 12 hours a day, six days a week, for $200 a week, paid every Wednesday in cash. It was eight times what she earned in a sock factory back home.

While many undocumented immigrants cling to the world of illegals, Ana cultivated American friends. On a laundry delivery, Ana met Christina, a teacher who offered her a job cleaning her studio apartment and introduced her to friends who also needed maids. Soon Ana had enough clients to quit the laundry business. "Suddenly she was making more money than me," Christina recalls.

But back in Ana's hometown of Puebla, what she earns is practically a scandal. Using cash wired by Ana and her siblings, her family is building a sprawling two-story structure that overshadows the cinder-block shacks of her neighbors. The new home is already filled with plush sofas, stereos and television sets. As in many Mexican barrios, where the difference between poor and comfortable is a relative in the United States, her family's conspicuous consumption has bred deep resentment. Poorer kids are banned from the house out of fear that they would steal toys and food. "I don't have friends," says Angel, Ana's 13-year-old daughter. "I have money."

Ana hasn't seen her son, Misa, now 7, since he was an infant. Her daughter made the trip across the border--with false papers--to New York in 1996, but soon grew rebellious and flew home. "If I want to continue giving them a better life, I can't be in Mexico," Ana says. "I would not be able to pay the bills. I have to be here". Ana's mother sometimes wonders if the family is paying too high a price for their prosperity. Four of her eight children are now in the United States, all illegally. "It was better before," she says. "Although we were poor, we were content. Now we have everything, thanks to them, but they are not here."

Meanwhile, Ana has been sucked into the culture of consumerism. She arrived with one pair of shoes. She now has 60. The shelves of her apartment are filled with videos. She orders $3.50 cappuccinos. And she admits that it is her new taste of the good life, almost as much as her concern about her family income, that keeps her in the United States. "Mexico is a strange country to me now," she says. "I am part of here."

Merci de m'aider!

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Si tu veux que l'on t'aide, pas de problème.

Lis le texte attentivement, et surligne les mots clés concernant Ana de manière à obtenir son portrait psychologique en filigrane.

Ensuite, tu n'auras plus qu'à en déduire ses traits de caractère pour la rédaction.

Mais n'attends pas qu'on fasse TON travail à ta place.

Au plaisir de te lire.

[sachh]

j'ai fini mon devoir , je voulais seulement un peu d'aide, mais je pense qu'il contient des fautes , si vous pouviez m'aider a les corriger:

first, ana is very courageous to try the experiment is the united states: she crossed the border at night, she crowled throught a drainpipe : all without being seen. so she goes to the united states in the obsession with making money for her and her family to give them a better life.so she's a courageous women , attractedby the american dream ; but we note that ana feels a little bit guilty for leaving some of her childrens in mexico : they have no friends because of the money their mother sends them. ana is like many immigrants who want a better life in their new country: she started from scratch and finally she improved her standart of living, with being smart: se clinged to world of illegals and worked in a laundry on top of her job. we also can say that the lack of money made her greedy.

Voila, merci de l'aide..

[sachh]

ps: c'est a dire en filigrane?

[Jean B]

Quitte à te décevoir, je n'ai pas lu plus de 2 lignes de ce que tu as écrit car, ainsi rédigé, c'est pour moi illisible.

Rappel des principaux codes de la ponctuation :

- toute phrase déclarative commence obligatoirement par une majuscule et se termine par un point.

- tous les noms propres prennent la majuscule.

Quant au fond, j'ai l'impression que tu t'es contenté de relever ce que Ana a fait ou fait encore.

Certes c'est bien beau mais ce n'est pas ce qu'on te demande.

Le portrait psychologique d'une personne devrait en principe s'attacher à mettre ses qualités/défauts en valeur, non ?

Pose-toi ces questions : qu'est-ce qui caractérise cette femme ? Que dénotent les actions qu'elles a entreprises ?

Quelque chose qui est "en filigrane" est quelque chose que l'on devine en arrière-plan, qui n'est pas explicite.

C'est à toi qu'il revient de le déduire. Capiche ?

[sachh]

Pour les majuscules , j'ai oublié de les tapper mais elles sont présentes sur ma copie.

Cette femme est caractérisée par son courage, sa cupidité , le fait d'avoir tout quitté pour donner une meilleure vie a sa famille? C'est ce que j'ai mit non?