oo-Bubulle-oo Posté(e) le 13 avril 2009 Signaler Posté(e) le 13 avril 2009 Bonjour! Voilà, j'ai un sujet d'invention à faire en Anglais, et je voulais savoir si je n'ai pas fait d'erreurs de syntaxe etc... Et si oui, lesquelles. Merci d'avance à ceux qui me répondront! Je précise que c'est une scène "inventée" du livre Strangers on a train, Dans laquelle Bruno (le fils, premier personnage qui parle) explique à sa mère (deuxième personnage qui parle) ses projets de meurtres. Ce sont les seuls personnages. Bruno est fou, sa mère un peu moins, et en réalité, Guy n'est pas d'accord pour commettre le meurtre. Bon courage! - Hello Mom! How are you?? - I'm fine my darling, and you? What are you doing today my darling? - I'm fine mummy, I have a new friend! It's Guy Haines, the famous player of tennis! - I will be say it to your father! He will be happy that your friends is famous! -You say nothing to him!! Listening, you know dad doesn't love to me and I either. He is inequitable with me! - But Bruno, you know that... - Mom, please, promises you will say nothing to nobody what I'm going to say to you. - Yes? - I'm beginning my story: Guy is married to a nasty woman, she deceives him and wants to take his money, she doesn't love him, and he either. And for me, it's my "father" who doesn't love to me, and I don't love him too! He doesn't take charge well of me, he's not kind with me. You know it mom? - But Bruno, your father wants your good and... - That it's what he says, he can't says the opposite. Then, with Guy, we thought of something. Finally it's me who thought of it, and Guy agrees. - He has the kind sight this Guy! - Yes, yes, You see mom, him and me we're met in the train, we are not supposed to know either. - It is the fate! - Yes, and we have a brilliant plan). - I'm not see where you want to come Bruno... -I am going to kill Guys ' wife and.... - What!?! But it's, it's... - And he will be kill dad!! It is an infallible and brilliant plan, isn't it? - Bruno, I always knew that you are a little bit crazy child, but to kill a woman and to make kill your own father... - You're not make for me the morality now, mom! I'm an adult for a long time! I say to you my plan, but repeat it to nobody and especially not to dad! If you repeat it to him, I shall burn your paintings! - I wasn't going to repeat it to him, darling. But I say to you what I think of this story and... Imagine that you goes to prison Bruno! -Don't say idiocies, you know I'm very very clever, they're all idiot, how could they imprison me? - Yes it's true, but, it's disturbing me, my lamb... Maybe Guy is a liar and that his wife is kind. - She isn't, I have already read all newspapers. I leave you mom, I'm going to plan this project. Bye! - Bruno! -Mom, I know what I make, You don't say nothing to anybody. I'm the best! I love you mom! -Kisses my lover... Pay attention. Voilà! Merci encore!
E-Bahut Jean B Posté(e) le 13 avril 2009 E-Bahut Signaler Posté(e) le 13 avril 2009 Bonjour, Comment te le dire sans te froisser ? Tu as une forte tendance à écrire l'anglais comme si c'était du français... En rouge, je t'ai balisé tout ce qui pose problème et que tu dois rectifier en application des règles de grammaire. Quelques rares corrections en caractères gras. Bonjour! Voilà, j'ai un sujet d'invention à faire en Anglais, et je voulais savoir si je n'ai pas fait d'erreurs de syntaxe etc... Et si oui, lesquelles. Merci d'avance à ceux qui me répondront! Je précise que c'est une scène "inventée" du livre Strangers on a train, Dans laquelle Bruno (le fils, premier personnage qui parle) explique à sa mère (deuxième personnage qui parle) ses projets de meurtres. Ce sont les seuls personnages. Bruno est fou, sa mère un peu moins, et en réalité, Guy n'est pas d'accord pour commettre le meurtre. Bon courage! - Hello Mom! How are you?? - I'm fine my darling, and you? What are you doing today my darling? - I'm fine mummy, I have a new friend! It's Guy Haines, the famous player of tennis! <nom composé - I will be say it to your father! He will be happy that your friends is famous! -You say nothing to him!! Listening, you know dad doesn't love to me and neither do I. He is inequitable with me! - But Bruno, you know that... - Mom, please, promises you will say nothing to nobody about what I'm going to say to you. - Yes? - I'm beginning my story: Guy is married to a nasty woman, she deceives him and wants to take his money, she doesn't love him, and neither does he. And for me, it's my "father" who doesn't love to me, and I don't love him either! He doesn't take good care of me, he's not kind with me. You know that mom? - But Bruno your father wants your good and... - That's what he says, he can't says the opposite. Then, with Guy, we thought of something. Finally it's me who thought of it, and Guy agrees. - He has the kind sight this Guy! - Yes, yes, You see mom, him and me we're met on the train, we are not supposed to know each other. - It is the fate! - Yes, and we have a brilliant plan. - I'm not see where you want to come Bruno... - I am going to kill Guys' wife and.... - What!?! But it's, it's... - And he will be kill dad!! It is an infallible and brilliant plan, isn't it? - Bruno, I always knew that you are a little bit crazy child, but to kill a woman and to make kill your own father... - You're not make for me the morality now, mom! I'm an adult for a long time! I say to you my plan, but repeat it to nobody and especially not to dad! If you repeat it to him, I shall burn your paintings! - I wasn't going to repeat it to him, darling. But I say to you what I think of this story and... Imagine that you goes to prison Bruno! - Don't say idiocies, you know I'm very very clever, they're all idiots, how could they imprison me? - Yes it's true, but, it's disturbing me, my lamb... Maybe Guy is a liar and that his wife is kind. - She isn't, I have already read all newspapers. I leave you mom, I'm going to plan this project. Bye! - Bruno! -Mom, I know what I make, You don't say nothing to anybody. I'm the best! I love you mom! -Kisses my lover... Pay attention. Voilà! Merci encore!
oo-Bubulle-oo Posté(e) le 13 avril 2009 Auteur Signaler Posté(e) le 13 avril 2009 Ben merci beaucoup, j'ai réussi à corriger tout ce qui était en rouge, donc ça devrait aller maintenant =D Bonne pâques!
E-Bahut yveslouis Posté(e) le 15 avril 2009 E-Bahut Signaler Posté(e) le 15 avril 2009 Ben merci beaucoup, j'ai réussi à corriger tout ce qui était en rouge, donc ça devrait aller maintenant =D Bonne pâques!
oo-Bubulle-oo Posté(e) le 15 avril 2009 Auteur Signaler Posté(e) le 15 avril 2009 Ben oui, pas de problème Voilà: Bruno: Hello Mom! How are you?? the Mother: I'm fine my darling, and you? What are you doing today my darling? B: I'm fine mummy, I have a new friend! It's Guy Haines, the famous tennis man! M: I will tell this to your father! He will be happy that your friend is famous! B:You say nothing to him!! Listen, you know dad doesn't love me and neither do I. He is inequitable with me! M: But Bruno, you know that... B: Mom, please, promise you will say nothing about what I'm going to tell you. M: Yes? B: I'm beginning my story: Guy is married to a nasty woman, she deceives him and wants to take his money, she doesn't love him, and neither does he. And for me, it's my "father" who doesn't love me, and I don't love him either! He doesn't take good care of me, he's not kind with me. You know that mom? M: But Bruno your father wants your good and... B: That's what he says, he can't say the opposite. Then, with Guy, we thought of something. Finally it's me who thought of it, and Guy agrees. M: He has the kind sight this Guy! B: Yes, yes, You see mom, Guy and me we were met on the train, we are not supposed to know each other. M: It is the fate! B: Yes, and we have a brilliant plan. M: I don't understand what you want say to me Bruno... B: I am going to kill Guys' wife and.... M: What!?! But it's, it's... B: And he will kill daddy!! It is an infallible and brilliant plan, isn't it? M: Bruno, I always knew that you are a little bit crazy child, but kill a woman and want the death of your own father... B: Please, You aren't make me the morality now, mom! I was an adult for a long time! I'm telling to you my plan, but repeat it to nobody and especially not to dad! If you repeat it to him, I shall burn your paintings! M: I wasn't going to repeat it to him, darling. But I'm just tell you what I think of this story and... Imagine that you goes to prison Bruno! B: Don't say idiocies, you know I'm very very clever, they're all idiots, how could they imprison me? M: Yes it's true, but, it's disturbing me, my lamb... Maybe Guy is a liar and that his wife is kind. B: She isn't, I have already read all newspapers. I leave you mom, I'm going to plan this project. Bye! M: Bruno! B: Mom, I know what I do, you can't say nothing to anybody. I'm the best! I love you mom! M: Kisses my lover... Pay attention. ^^ Normalement, c'est bon (je crois ^^') Voilà!!
E-Bahut Jean B Posté(e) le 15 avril 2009 E-Bahut Signaler Posté(e) le 15 avril 2009 Ben oui, pas de problème Voilà: Bruno: Hello Mom! How are you?? the Mother: I'm fine my darling, and you? What are you doing today my darling? B: I'm fine mummy, I have a new friend! It's Guy Haines, the famous tennis player! M: I will tell this to your father! He will be happy that your friend is famous! B:You say nothing to him!! Listen, you know dad doesn't love me and neither do I. He is inequitable with me! M: But Bruno, you know that... B: Mom, please, promise you will say nothing about what I'm going to tell you. M: Yes? B: I'm beginning my story: Guy is married to a nasty woman, she deceives him and wants to take his money, she doesn't love him, and neither does he. And for me, it's my "father" who doesn't love me, and I don't love him either! He doesn't take good care of me, he's not kind with me. You know that mom? M: But Bruno your father wants your good and... B: That's what he says, he can't say the opposite. Then, with Guy, we thought of something. Finally it's me who thought of it, and Guy agrees. M: <He has the kind sight this Guy!> <Did you mean?> "This Guy looks kind!" B: Yes, yes, You see mom, Guy and me we <were> met on the train, we are not supposed to know each other. M: <It is the fate!> It was meant to be! B: Yes, and we have a brilliant plan. M: I don't understand what you want <say> to tell me Bruno... B: I am going to kill Guys' wife and.... M: What!?! But it's, it's... B: And he will kill daddy!! It is an infallible and brilliant plan, isn't it? M: Bruno, I always knew that you are a little bit crazy child, but kill a woman and want the death of your own father... B: Please, You aren't <make me the morality> going to lecture me now, mom! I <was> have been an adult for a long time! I'm telling <to> you my plan, but repeat it to nobody and especially not to dad! If you repeat it to him, I shall burn your paintings! M: I'm not going to repeat it to him, darling. But let me just tell you what I think of this story and... Imagine that you go to prison Bruno! B: Don't say idiocies, you know I'm very very clever, they're all idiots, how could they imprison me? M: Yes it's true, but, it's disturbing me, my lamb... Maybe Guy is a liar and that his wife is kind. B: She isn't, I have already read all newspapers. I leave you mom, I'm going to plan this project. Bye! M: Bruno! B: Mom, I know what I do, you can't say anything to anybody. I'm the best! I love you mom! M: Kisses my lover... Pay attention. ^^ Normalement, c'est bon (je crois ^^') Voilà!! Mouais...
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