Fanny-A Posté(e) le 14 janvier 2009 Signaler Posté(e) le 14 janvier 2009 Bonjour/Bonsoir J'aimerai un peu d'aide pour corriger mon expression d'anglais, il fallait inventer la fin d'une fable que voici: Once upon a time there were two chipmunks, a male and a female. The male chipmunk thought that arranging nuts in artistic patters was more fun that just piling them up to see how many you could pile up. The female was all for piling up as many as you could. She told her husband that if he gave up making designs with the nuts there would be room in their large cave for a great many more and he would soon become the wealthiest chipmunk in the woods. But he would not let her interfere with his designs, so she flew into a rage and left him.. “The shrike will get you,” she said, “because you are helpless and cannot look after yourself.” To be sure, the female chipmunk had not been gone three nights before the male had to dress for a banquet and could not find his studs or shirt or suspenders. So he couldn’t go to the banquet, but that was just as well, because all the chipmunks who did go were attached and killed by a weasel. The next day the shrike began hanging around outside the chipmunk’s cave, waiting to catch him. The shrike couldn’t get in because the doorway was clogged up with soiled laundry and dirty dishes. “He will come out for a walk after breakfast and I will get him then,” thought the shrike. But the chipmunk slept all day and did not get up and have breakfast until after dark. Then he came out for a breath of fresh air before beginning work on a new design. The shrike swooped down to snatch the chipmunk, but could not see very well on account of the dark, so he batted his head against an alder branch and was killed. A few days later the female chipmunk returned and saw the awful mess the house was in. She went to the bed and shook her husband. “What would you do without me?” she demanded. “Just go on living, I guess,” he said. “You wouldn’t [http://dgtized.net/pages/thurber_shrike] Et voici mon travail: «You wouldn't do without me! Look at you, you are in bad shape!» she told him. After this words she tidy the house and warms him: «If you don't change, I leave you but this time forever! Begin by having a wash and dressing up!» The male chipmunk was aware of he went too far and for saving his marriage he could do some efforts. The next day, the female re-watched her husband at the six o'clock in the morning and forced him to went outdoors for doing sports. «Go! You must lose weight! You are not any more as I knew you!» she told him for motivate the male but that had an depressing effect on him. A week later the male chipmunk became like the female chipmunk would that he was, but he was unhappy too. In effect he spent all days at tidy the house, do sports, do odd jobs, pile up nuts... as well as other boring duties. He regretted his old life, but his wife was delighted. One day, him it had enough, quarrelled with his wife, and stayed in bed all day long. In her custom she went outdoors to make her morning jogging but she never returns... On the road she had crossed a shrike which attacked and killed her. Morality: to stay in bed all day long and to make nothing is much less dangerous and that can save lives! Merci d'avance! Fanny.
E-Bahut Jean B Posté(e) le 14 janvier 2009 E-Bahut Signaler Posté(e) le 14 janvier 2009 Bonsoir, Supprimer ce qui est en rouge entre <--->. Les corrections suivent en caractères gras. Bonjour/Bonsoir, J'aimerais un peu d'aide pour corriger mon expression d'anglais, il fallait inventer la fin d'une fable que voici: Once upon a time there were two chipmunks, a male and a female. The male chipmunk thought that arranging nuts in artistic patterns was more fun that just piling them up to see how many you could pile up. The female was all for piling up as many as you could. She told her husband that if he gave up making designs with the nuts there would be room in their large cave for a great many more and he would soon become the wealthiest chipmunk in the woods. But he would not let her interfere with his designs, so she flew into a rage and left him. “The shrike will get you,” she said, “because you are helpless and cannot look after yourself.” To be sure, the female chipmunk had not been gone three nights before the male had to dress for a banquet and could not find his studs or shirt or suspenders. So he couldn’t go to the banquet, but that was just as well, because all the chipmunks who did go were attacked and killed by a weasel. The next day the shrike began hanging around outside the chipmunk’s cave, waiting to catch him. The shrike couldn’t get in because the doorway was clogged up with soiled laundry and dirty dishes. “He will come out for a walk after breakfast and I will get him then,” thought the shrike. But the chipmunk slept all day and did not get up and have breakfast until after dark. Then he came out for a breath of fresh air before beginning work on a new design. The shrike swooped down to snatch the chipmunk, but could not see very well on account of the dark, so he batted his head against an alder branch and was killed. A few days later the female chipmunk returned and saw the awful mess the house was in. She went to the bed and shook her husband. “What would you do without me?” she demanded. “Just go on living, I guess,” he said. “You wouldn’t Et voici mon travail: «You wouldn't do without me! Look at you, you are in bad shape!» she told him. After <this> these words she tidied up the house and warned him: «If you don't change, I shall leave you but this time forever! <Begin by> Go have a wash and dress up!» The male chipmunk was aware <of> that he <went> had gone too far and <for> to <saving> save his marriage he could <do> make some efforts. The next day, the female <re-watched> woke up her husband at <the> six o'clock in the morning and forced him to <went> go outdoors <for> to <doing> do some sport. «Go! You must lose weight! You <are not any more> no longer look like <as I knew you> the one I knew!» she told him <for> to/in order to/ motivate the male but that had a<n> depressing effect on him. A week later the male chipmunk became like the female chipmunk [would that he was]<??, but he was unhappy too. In effect he spent all days <at> tidying the house, do sports, do odd jobs, pile up nuts... as well as other boring duties. He regretted his old life, but his wife was delighted. One day, <him it> he had enough, quarrelled with his wife, and stayed in bed all day long. <In her custom> As she would do every day her, she went outdoors <to make> for her morning jogging but she never returned... On the road she had crossed a shrike which attacked and killed her. <Morality> The moral is: <to> staying in bed all day long and <to make> doing nothing is much less dangerous and that can save lives! Merci d'avance! Fanny.
Fanny-A Posté(e) le 17 janvier 2009 Auteur Signaler Posté(e) le 17 janvier 2009 Merci encore une fois pour ton aide! C'est très gentil d'avoir pris le temps d'expliquer mes fautes. Passes une bonne journée. Fanny.
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