Demande De Correction

[Papaye]

Bonjour à tous,

La première fois que je suis venue sur ce site, j'ai été ravie du retour que j'ai eu. Donc, je me suis dis pourquoi une seconde fois?

J'ai un texte d'environ 350 mots à faire sur une entreprise du nom de MODDIS. Cette entreprise a des problèmes avec ses fournisseurs étrangers et souhaite construire sa propre usine dans un pays émergeant.

3 questions me sont posées :je dois

* faire une analyse SWOT (outil permettant d'évaluer une situation d'une entreprise afin de prendre les bonnes décisions).

* savoir si la société doit construire une grande ou une petite entreprise

* comparer trois localisations et dire laquelle je choisis et pourquoi

Je désirerai savoir si l'un d'entre vous peut m'aider à corriger les fautes d'orthographe et de constructions des phrases. Je dois rendre ce devoir pour la rentrée, le 5 janvier.

Voici le texte que j'ai fait :

MODDIS

Strengths: MODDIS is a company which assembles computers in Canada. The group has a good perception of the market which is helpful to forecast the customers demand. Moreover the personnel is mobile.

Weaknesses: MODDIS sources abroad and has had problems with their suppliers.

Opportunities: Most analyses express a growth of the market in the next few years. They study strategic location for their new factory abroad.

Threats: Nevertheless controlling a factory in a foreign country causes lot of problems. Besides, they are not enough inquired on their competitors

MODDIS has to enhance reliability of two processes: purchasinsg and procurement. The strategy of offshoring must be controlled in order to have all the composants with the same standard of quality. Thus the efficiency of the assembly line could be mastered, producing economies of scales.

It needs to build own production facility abroad in order to reduce the cost and the problems linked with too many suppliers. It has to construct reliable company capable of supplying the whole assembly line in Canada. A only point of sourcing increases the risk so MODDIS should have a big factory with talent personnel.

Kana should not choose Europe as the location of the new factory. Even if the government is stable, the initials cost, taxes and transportation facilities are too expensive. MODDIS could not be competitive in this region.

In America Latina suffers from a brain drain to the USA. We should notice that they have as good as transport infrastructures. However, the cost of wages and constructions are higher than Asia. Earthquake risk and inflation could damage the business's performance.

In my opinion, MODDIS should implement its new factory in Asia. The costs are the lowest of the market. Moreover the government is quite stable. The culture of the country is adapted to MODDIS's sector. They master English language and will be quickly capable of working. The only disadvantage is the lack of port facilities, regarding to the distance to Canada.

Merci, d'avance

[louli02]

bonjour

ton texte m'a air bon il n'y a pas de fautes mais si tu veux être sur regarde sur le traducteur voila

bonne fête et bonnes vacances

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

MODDIS

Strengths: MODDIS is a company <which> that assembles computers in Canada. The group has a good perception of the market, which is helpful to forecast their customers' demand. Moreover the personnel <is> are mobile.

Weaknesses: MODDIS sources abroad and has had problems with their suppliers.

Opportunities: Most analyses express a growth of the market in the next few years. They study strategic location for their new factory abroad.

Threats: Nevertheless controlling a factory in a foreign country causes lots of problems. Besides, they <are> have not enough inquired on their competitors.

MODDIS has to enhance reliability of two processes: purchasinsg and procurement. The strategy of offshoring must be controlled in order to have all the components with the same standard of quality. Thus the efficiency of the assembly line could be mastered, producing economies of scales.

It needs to build its own production facility abroad in order to reduce the cost and the problems linked with too many suppliers. It has to construct a reliable company capable of supplying the whole assembly line in Canada. <A> One/An only point of sourcing increases the risks so MODDIS should have a big factory with talented/skilled personnel.

Kana should not choose Europe as the location of the new factory. Even if <the> European governments are stable, the initial<s> cost, taxes and transportation facilities are too high/expensive. MODDIS could not be competitive in this region.

<In> Latin America <Latina> suffers from a brain drain to the USA. Yet we should notice that they have as good <as> transport infrastructures. However, the cost of wages and constructions are higher than in Asia. Earthquake risks and inflation could damage the business's performance.

In my opinion, MODDIS should implement its new factory in Asia. The costs are the lowest of the market. [Moreover the government is quite stable.]<(Il te faudrait préciser quel pays car l'Asie est un vaste continent et les entités qui le composent sont loin d'avoir toutes des gouvernements stables. Les 3 phrases suivantes en dépendent aussi, ne l'oublie pas.) The culture of the country is adapted to MODDIS's sector. They master the English language and will be quickly capable of working. The only disadvantage is the lack of port facilities, regarding <to> the distance to Canada.

A ne pas perdre de vue :

L'adjectif épithète reste toujours invariable et se place avant le nom.(cf. initial cost, etc., Latin America)

Bonne chance.

[Papaye]

Merci beaucoup JRB,

Je n'avais pas vu le message. Merci de m'aider pour les corrections, il est très facile de comprendre ton système de correction. Merci encore beaucoup. C'est agréable de pourvoir compter sur quelqu'un.

Meilleurs voeux pour cette année 2009

[Jean B]

Merci beaucoup JRB,

Je n'avais pas vu le message. Merci de m'aider pour les corrections, il est très facile de comprendre ton système de correction. Merci encore beaucoup. C'est agréable de pourvoir compter sur quelqu'un.

Meilleurs voeux pour cette année 2009