The Compaign's Brightest Star

[lizza]

Bonjour, je dois passer un oral mais j'ai besoin d'aide concernant mon analyse de test, pouvez vous me corriger les fautes ? Un grand merci d'avance.

This article is taken from the british newspaper: The economist. It seems that the newspaper gives a quality of information. Indeed, it's the leading source of analysis on international business and world affairs.This article was published in 14 june 2007 and the title is "The compaign's brightest star".

This headline is very suggestive, it sets the tone of American presidential campaign. So, this article refers to a political event but it was written in 2007, it's the campaign beginning.

This extract is divided into three parts illustrating the Barack Obama character.

Firstly, before to refer this article, it seems important to talk about American politic system. Indeed, in United States of America are two main political parties: the Democrat and Republican.

The Democrat are thought to be more concerned with sociale equality and the importance of the state whereas the Republicans are more likely to follow and individualistic line. The Republicans Party also called the "Grand old Party", they favour restrictions on central power.

Like this article puts the emphasis on MR Barack Obama, it's important to say that his Party is the Democrat and 2007 is a race for Democratic primary voters. Indeed, each Party chooses a candidate for presidential election.

This article shows to Mr Obama appears like a important presidential candidad, he matches Hillary Clinton, New York senator.She was the president Bill Clinton's wife, therefore she was the first lady of United States of America from 1993 to 2001. Indeed, president is chosen in a national election for a mandate of four years, he may be re-elected only once.

The second paragraph presents Mr Obama like a local politician in Illinois. There are a lot of compliments about him and his family. Indeed, polical men are have to give a good picture as well as their family. Medias talk about a lot of canditates, they become stars and their family have to be a model for all Americans. During the campaign Michelle Obama is very observed by medias. Picture give obtain voters. (? l'image que l'on donne de soi permet d'obtenir des votes)

In the second time, I talk about paragraph calling "Race and the race". the author talks about a mentality change regarding the skin color of Mr Obama. Indeed,Mr Obama comes in history, now, we know that the fourteen fourth President of United States of Ameriac is black, Mr Obama wins the presidential election the 4 november 2008. He will take his power the 20 january 2009. It's the first time that president is black. But, this article was written in 2007 says that Mr Obama cann't match Hillary Clinton for primary election.

The author says that Mr Obama have a lot of charisma , more serious lika Mrs Clinton but he doesn't think Mr Obama like a presidential candidate. The author does forecasting.

Finaly, this article refers the political thought of Barack Obama compared with Mr Clinton. In this keynote speech, he recalls the war on Iraq, he says President job is promoted free world. This idea is the most important because Mr Bush has received a lot of critical about the Iraq war.

To conclude, this article analyzes the polical situation in United States of America about event that goes to be a break for presidential history, it's a lead in the mentality.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Il est assez étonnant de vouloir préparer un oral en rédigeant un texte structuré. A toutes fins utiles, je te rappelle qu'un oral ne consiste pas à lire quoi que ce qoit mais à parler devant un examinateur ou un jury. Cela implique des hésitations de ta part mais aussi probablement des interruptions de la part du jury par des demandes de précisions ou autres. Penses-y pour bien te préparer.

Il semble que tu aies des problèmes avec les articles. Tu as tendance à ne pas les mettre quand il en faut. Particularité : the United States, toujours avec l'article défini.

Bonne chance pour ton oral.

Bonjour, je dois passer un oral mais j'ai besoin d'aide concernant mon analyse de texte,<(Non ?) Pouvez-vous me corriger les fautes ? Un grand merci d'avance.

This article is taken from the British newspaper: The Economist. It seems that the newspaper gives a quality <of> information. Indeed, it's the leading source of analysis on international business and world affairs.This article was published on 14 june 2007 and the title is "The compaign's brightest star".<(Je sais bien que les majuscules ne « se voient pas » à l'oral mais prends quand même l'habitude de les mettre quand il le faut.)

This headline is very suggestive, it sets the tone of the American presidential campaign.<(Obligation d'emploi de l'article défini, il n'y a qu'une seule campagne , elle est forcément déterminée.) So, this article refers to a political event but it was written in 2007, <it's> the campaign was beginning.

This extract is divided into three parts illustrating <the> Barack Obama's character.<(Surtout pas d'article défini devant le possesseur dans un cas possessif.)

First<ly>, before< to> referring to this article, it seems important to talk about the American political system. Indeed, in the United States of America there are two main political parties: the Democrats and the Republicans.<(Tu ne te relis donc jamais ?)

The Democrats are thought to be more concerned with social<e> equality and the importance of the state whereas the Republicans are more likely to follow an individualistic line. The Republican<s> Party is also called the "Grand old Party", they favour restrictions on central power.<(Attention à la nature de mots tels que Democrat et Republican. S'ils sont adjectifs ils restent invariables. S'ils sont noms ils peuvent prendre la marque du pluriel. Si tu mets un s quand il n'en faut pas, ça s'entend à l'oral ! Sois-y attentive.)

<Like> As this article puts the emphasis on Mr Barack Obama, it's important to say that his Party is the Democrat and 2007 is a race for Democratic primary voters. Indeed, each Party chooses a candidate for the presidential election.

This article shows <to> that Mr Obama appears like an important presidential candidate, he matches Hillary Clinton, New York senator. She was <the> president Bill Clinton's wife, therefore she was the first lady of the United States of America from 1993 to 2001. Indeed, the president is chosen in a national election for a mandate of four years, he may be re-elected only once.

The second paragraph presents Mr Obama like a local politician in Illinois. There are a lot of compliments about him and his family. Indeed, polical men <are> have to give a good picture as well as their family. Medias talk about a lot of canditates, they become stars and their family have to be a model for all Americans. During the campaign Michelle Obama is <very observed> much watched by the medias. <Picture give obtain voters>. (? l'image que l'on donne de soi permet d'obtenir des votes)Giving a good picture of onseself can win voters.

<In the second time> Then I will talk about the paragraph called "Race and the race". the author talks about a mentality change regarding the skin color of Mr Obama. Indeed,Mr Obama comes in history, now, we know that the forty-fourth President of the United States of Ameriac is black, Mr Obama won the presidential election <the> on 4 november 2008. He will <take his power the> be sworn in next 20 january 2009. It's the first time in history that the president is black. But this article <was> written in 2007 said that Mr Obama couldn't match Hillary Clinton for primary election.

The author says that Mr Obama has a lot of charisma , is more serious <lika> than Mrs Clinton but he doesn't <think> see Mr Obama like a presidential candidate. The author does forecasting.

Finally, this article refers to the political thought of Barack Obama compared with Mr Clinton. In this keynote speech, he recalls the war on Iraq, he says that the President's job <is> has promoted a free world. <(??) This idea is the most important one because Mr Bush has received a lot of criticism about the Iraq war.

To conclude, this article analyzes the polical situation in the United States of America about an event that is going to be a breakthrough <for> in presidential history, [it's a lead in the mentality.]<(??)

[lizza]

Merci beaucoup pour la correction je pars plus confiante pour l'oral, effectivement mon professeur me laisse faire ma présentation (sans notes juste le texte) puis ensuite il me pose des questions pour approfondir et échanger. J'ai pris note des remarques, pour ma derniere phrase je les reécrite: It's a importante advance in the mentality.

Encore merci pour la correction. Comme on dit il n'y a plus cas!

[Jean B]

Merci beaucoup pour la correction je pars plus confiante pour l'oral, effectivement mon professeur me laisse faire ma présentation (sans notes juste le texte) puis ensuite il me pose des questions pour approfondir et échanger. J'ai pris note des remarques, pour ma dernière phrase je les réécrite: It's an important<e> advance in <the> peoples's mentalities.

Encore merci pour la correction. Comme on dit il n'y a plus qu'à !<Exactement !