Correction Exposé D'anglais

[mylene64]

Bonjour à tous les correcteurs!!!

Je vous demande à nouveau votre aide pour m'aider à corriger mes erreurs...Après l'intro de mon exposé, voici maintenant la conclusion! Pourriez vous m'aider à l'améliorer?

Merci beaucoup par avance!

Voici le texte :

In conclusion, we can say that atherosclerosis is one of the most widespread diseases which can silently evolves during some decades before revealing itself when a serious accident occurs, caused by its complications. Throughout the world, the number of deathes caused by cardiovascular diseases more and more increase because of the ageing of the populations and the fact that they adopt more and more a western lifestyle. Facing the scale of these diseases, a lot of Researches are on going in order to better understand the mechanisms implicated in the formation and the evolution of the atheromatous plaque and in order to develop new therapies.

We can add that in the United States of America and in the Western Europe, the complications of atherosclerosis have decreased of 30 per cent the last thirty years thanks to both the progresses of the risk factors prevention and the medicinal and surgical advances.

Mylène

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

In conclusion, we can say that atherosclerosis is one of the most widespread diseases. <which> It can silently evolve <(Toujours une BV après un modal, toujours) <during some>over several decades before revealing itself when a serious accident occurs, caused by its complications. <(Les phrases à rallonge, "à la Marcel Proust", sont à éviter) Throughout the world, the number of deaths caused by cardiovascular diseases <more and more> increases <(Le sujet est singulier) more and more because of the ageing of <the> populations and the fact that they adopt more and more a western lifestyle. Facing the scale of these diseases, a lot of researches are ongoing in order to better understand the mechanisms implicated in the formation and the evolution of the atheromatous plaque and in order to develop new therapies.

We can add that in the United States of America and in <the> Western Europe, the complications of atherosclerosis have decreased <of> by 30 per cent over the last thirty years thanks to both <the> progresses <of> in the risk factors prevention and <the> medicinal and surgical advances.