Correction De Rédaction

[Catie_08]

Voilà, je dois répondre à une question personnelle en rapport avec un texte. Si vous pouviez juste m'aider à corriger mes fautes. Merci

Voici ce que j'ai écrit:

If I were in the position of the women of the article, I think I chose like her. That is the humiliation. Because if I had the choice between two months in prison or two days of humiliation, I chose the shortest punishment. Even if it means wearing a sandwich board where we can read what I have done.

Then I think I am able of overcoming humiliation and accept the consequences of my acts. Whereas even if I do not know exactly how prison is, because I never do the experience, I think I would find it more difficult to stay over there during two months. Be lock up in a not welcoming background with people you do not known. That would be very hard. Compare to it I prefer stay on a parking with an humiliated board during the day knowing that I will see my family and my friends at the evening. And knowing they will be there for me and could console me.

Nevertheless the fact that I choose humiliation do not mean I accept this practice. At the contrary I am not agree with this prosecution. I think it is very degrading. The humiliated person has the impression of making an exhibition of himself. That could be also embarrassing to the other people. They could be disturb to see that.

Moreover to my mind I think it is vicious to force a person to choose between prison or humiliation. There is every chance that this person choose humiliation. Justice could say that the person chose himself his punishment so it is not cruel and this person is not right to moan of this method. We give us the impression to have the choice while we do not have it.

[Catie_08]

Déjà à la première ligne, je pense que j'aurai du mettre "I think I would choose" pareil pour "I will choose the shortest punishment".

Au 2° paragraphe: Il faut peut-être changé "how prisons are"

[Catie_08]

Déjà à la première ligne, je pense que j'aurai du mettre "I think I would choose" pareil pour "I will choose the shortest punishment".

Au 2° paragraphe: Il faut peut-être changé "how prisons are"

[Catie_08]

Déjà à la première ligne, je pense que j'aurai du mettre "I think I would choose" pareil pour "I will choose the shortest punishment".

Au 2° paragraphe: Il faut peut-être changé "how prisons are"

[Catie_08]

J'ai encore continué à me relire et je crois avoir trouver quelques fautes:

Au 1er paragraphe: _ "I think I would choose" au lieu de "I think I chose"

_ "I will choose the shortest" au lieu de "I chose the shortest"

Au 2° paragraphe: _ "how prisons are" au lieu de "how prison is"

Au 4° paragraphe: _ Je trouve ça bizarre de mettre "himself" alors que je parle d'une "person" en général dans la phrase "The humiliated person has the impression of making an exhibition of himself" mais je sais pas quoi mettre d'autre.

_ "be also embarrassing for the other people" au lieu de "be also embarrassing to the other people"

_ "They could be disturbing to see that" au lieu de "They could be disturb to see that"

Au 5° paragraphe: _ "the person had chosen himself his punishment" au lieu de "the person chose himself his punishment "

Pour l'instant c'est les seuls que je voie, mais il doit y avoir encore plein d'autre. Merci de me les montrer.

[Catie_08]

Désolé il y a eu un léger beug

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Ton expression est souvent maladroite car trop calquée sur le français. Quand tu es dans l'hypothèse, la supposition, l'irréel, il convient d'employer le conditionnel. Pour une fois, c'est pareil qu'en français... Bref, je me suis efforcé d'arranger un peu ta sauce mais c'est loin d'être parfait. Dommage, car ton analyse est de bonne qualité.

If I were in the position of the woman of the article, I think I would choose like her, that is <the> humiliation. <Because> If I had the choice between two months in prison or two days of humiliation, I would choose the shortest punishment, even if it meant <wearing> carrying a sandwich board on my back where <we> could be read what I had done. <(Attention à bien respecter la concordance des temps)

Then I think I am able <of> to overcome humiliation and accept the consequences of my acts. <Whereas> Even if I do not know exactly how prisons are, because I've never <do> had the experience, I think I would find it more difficult to stay over there during two months. Being locked up in an <not> unwelcoming background with people you do not know must be really hard. <That would be very hard.> In comparison to it, I would prefer to stay on a parking lot with a<n> humiliating sandwich board on my back during the day, knowing that I would see my family and my friends <at> in the evening, <And> knowing they would be there for me and could console me.

Nevertheless the fact that I would choose humiliation does not mean I accept this practice. <At> On the contrary I <am not> disagree with this persecution. I think it is very degrading. The humiliated person has the impression of making an exhibition of <himself> themselves. That could be also embarrassing to <the> other people. They could be disturbed to see that.

Moreover to my mind I think it is <vicious><(C'est un faux ami) disloyal/treacherous to force a person to choose between prison or humiliation. <There is every chance> It is most likely that this person will choose humiliation. Justice could say that the sentenced person had personally chosen <himself his> that form of punishment so it <is> would not be cruel and they <person is> would not have a right to <moan> complain of this method. We <give us> get the impression <to> of having the choice whereas we do not <have it>.

PS Évite de commencer tes phrases par une double conjonction, c'est incorrect et très lourd.

Fais attention à ne pas multiplier tes posts inutilement. Réfléchis d'abord !