Correction D'un Texte

[ludo6810]

Bonjour à tous, j'ai un devoir à la maison à rendre en anglais. Je l'ai fini mais j'aimerai que vous m'aidez à corriger les erreurs que j'ai faite car je ne crois pas qu'il est parfait loin de là. ^^

Le sujet de ce devoir est s'il on pense que les parents sont trop indulgents avec leurs enfant.

I think it’s difficult to say if parents are too easy-going because all parents are different so we can’t really give a general opinion. Nevertheless, we can say everything has been changing. Some time ago, nurturing children was different. Indeed, nowadays numerous parents turn a blind eye to their misbehaviour so children continue whereas in the past children’s resolutions depend on their mother and their father. Now, they are more easy-going, their teenager chooses many things and parents agree more easily and much more often. For example, teenagers can go out in discotheque before eighteen years-old, they can return home very late in the night… That’s why I believe that parent’s mentality changes, they become too easy-going for some people. But, I am convinced that it’s good for our children to be rather indulgent with them so that they discover the world by them and so that they learn theirs mistakes. It is really important that a child does not abuse the kindness of his parents.

Moreover all parents love their children thus, we understand why some are too easy-going with them. They have the impression that their children love them more when they agree with them. But too many liberties is very bad for them because when they become older, they will smoke, they will drink, they will consume some drug... So because of easy-going parents this child will never have had orders thus later he will continue as it. He will become a man who does not respect the law, the police and the others. To my mind, parents should think before authorize their children to do anything by letting them go out all night long, they can have problems. Even if it’s true that being easy-going parents give better relations with our children but a good education and good values will allow him to make a success of his life and it is the most important. I don’t believe that strict parents are better because our society evolved a lot, numerous liberties have been acquired. That is why it’s normal that children are more free than their parents when they were young.

In fact, I think that parents should make a mixing. Indeed, severe parents are bad because they prevent their youngster from understanding the world, from developing and when he is eighteen years old he can leave totally the house. Similarly, easy-going parents have children without limit, parents wouldn’t be able to control them any more and when they become adults, they will smoke probably drug, they wouldn’t have house and money.

We please our child by being easy-going, but in fact we destroy him! Thus if you have a child, don’t be either too strict or too easy-going because it’s really important for his future life!"

Merci d'avance pour votre aide

[Jean B]

I think it's difficult to say if parents are too easy-going because all parents are different so we can't really give a general opinion. Nevertheless, we can say everything has been changing. Some time ago, nurturing children was different. Indeed, nowadays numerous parents turn a blind eye to their misbehaviour so children continue misbehaving <(?)whereas in the past children's resolutions depended on their mother and (their) father. Now, they are more easy-going, their teenager chooses many things and parents agree more easily and much more often. For example, teenagers can go out in a discotheque before being eighteen (year-old), they can return home very late in the night… That's why I believe that the way parents think <'s mentality> changes, they become too easy-going for some people. But, I am convinced that it's good for our children to be rather indulgent with them so that they discover the world by themselves and so that they learn from theirs mistakes. It is really important that a child does not abuse the kindness of his parents.

Moreover all parents love their children, thus we understand why some are too easy-going with them. They have the impression that their children love them more when they agree with them. But too many liberties is very bad for them because when they become older, they will smoke, they will drink, they will consume some drug... So because of easy-going parents this child will never have <had> been given orders, thus later he will continue as <it> he was used to. He will become a man who does not respect the law, the police and the others. To my mind, parents should think before authorizing their children to do anything by letting them go out all night long, they can have problems. Even if it's true that being easy-going parents can give better relations with our children but a good education and good values will allow <him> them to make a success of <his> their lives and it is the most important. I don't believe that strict parents are better because our society has evolved a lot, numerous liberties have been acquired. That is why it's normal that children are more free than their parents when they were young.

In fact, I think that parents should make a mixing. Indeed, severe parents are bad because they prevent their youngster from understanding the world, from developing and when he is eighteen years old he can leave totally the house. Similarly, easy-going parents have children without limit,<(??) parents won't be able to control them any more and when they become adults, they will smoke probably drug, they won't have house and money either.

We please our child by being easy-going, but in fact we destroy him! Thus if you have a child, don't be either too strict or too easy-going because it's really important for his future life!"

C'est beaucoup mieux que la première mouture mais il y a encore du déchet.

Tu ne réussis pas totalement à toujours conserver le même nombtre, soit le singulier soit le pluriel, aux noms et pronoms que tu emploies. Sois-y attentif et ça ira.

Efforce-toi aussi de composer des phrases plus courtes, n'excédant pas 2 propositions. Tu y gagneras en clarté et intelligibilité.

[ludo6810]

D'accord merci de ton aide

Je vais essayer de mettre les pronoms au pluriel pour que se soit plus claire, mais c'était ma volonté au départ de faire singulier et quelques fois pluriel.

Je vais aussi tenté de faire des phrases moins longues.

Merci encore et merci d'avoir pris du temps pour m'aider