Exposé D'anglais

[mylene64]

Bonjour à tous les correcteurs,

Je voulais tout d'abord remercier JRB, qui depuis que je suis inscrite à ce forum, a toujours pris le temps de m'aider! Je sollicite à nouveau votre aide pour m'indiquer les erreurs que j'ai pu commétre dans ces quelques phrases d'anglais! Merci beaucoup par avance de votre aide qui me sera certainement très précieuse!

Voici le texte proposé :

"Heart diseases research scientists found that smoking is a major cause of diseases of blood vessels.

On top of ten cigarettes a day, nicotine addiction is a very important risk factor. The smoking intoxication multiplies by three the risk of myocardial infarction. On top of twenty cigarettes a day, this risk is multiplied by five and those of sudden death by six. The nicotine encourages the arterial sudden narrowing

Smoking also doesn't allow enough oxygen to reach the body's tissues. The tobacco supression permits to decrease of fifty per cent the vascular original mortality.

Coronary artery diseases pertain to the affect of coronary artery that is to say the arteries that irrigate the heart. Symptom will be different depending on wether the artery obstruction is partial or total.

Angina pectoris is caused by a partial obstruction of a coronary artery. It is manifested by chest pain and/or a sensation of thoracic oppression, occuring at ease or during an effort. It's a warning signal. The blood output is then inadequate compared with the nead : heart does not receive enough oxygen to normally work. It can be a sign of heart disease.

The myocardial infarction is the first reasen of death in the world according to the World Health Organization ; it represents "encore" more of ten per cent of death in France. A clot obstruts an coronary artery and it's infarction! Affecting more often the "seniors", these heart attacks impact nearly 120000 french people every year, whose more of one third dies.

The myocardial infarction is the instant consequence of the total obstruction of a coronary artery or one of its ramifications. Suddenly deprived of oxygen, the downstream part of heart dies. Blood and oxygen and so the energy essential at the heart work are not carried. Moreover, the necrosis of myocardial cells, occasioned by the oxygen absence, come to the liberation of enzymes in the blood, which ruin "à son tour" the tissues near the injury.

This phenomenon is gone, most of the time with thoracic pain comparable at cramps. If the lack of oxygen just affects a little part of myocardium, the recovery is possible. But according to the importance of heart attack and the myocardium place where attack occurs, the infarction can cause disablement and even death. "

Mylène

[Jean B]

Bonjour à tous les correcteurs,

Je voulais tout d'abord remercier JRB, qui depuis que je suis inscrite à ce forum, a toujours pris le temps de m'aider ! <(C'est avec plaisir. /uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png">/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png">/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png">/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png">/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png">http://www.e-bahut.com/uploads/emoticons/default_biggrin.png' alt=':D'> ) Je sollicite à nouveau votre aide pour m'indiquer les erreurs que j'ai pu commettre<(S'écrit comme "mettre") dans ces quelques phrases d'anglais ! Merci beaucoup par avance de votre aide qui me sera certainement très précieuse !

Voici le texte proposé :

"Heart diseases research scientists found that smoking is a major cause of diseases of blood vessels.

Over ten cigarettes a day, nicotine addiction is a very important risk factor. Smoking intoxication multiplies by three the risk of myocardial infarction. Over twenty cigarettes a day, this risk is multiplied by five and those of sudden death by six.. Nicotine favours/causes arterial sudden narrowing.

Smoking also doesn't allow enough oxygen to reach the body tissues. Eliminating tobacco permits to decrease vascular original mortality by fifty per cent.

Coronary artery diseases pertain to the affect of coronary artery that is to say the arteries that irrigate the heart. Symptoms will be different depending on whether the artery obstruction is partial or total.

Angina pectoris is caused by a partial obstruction of a coronary artery. It manifests itself in chest pain and/or a sensation of thoracic oppression, occuring at ease or during an effort. It's a warning signal. The blood output is then inadequate compared with the need: the heart does not receive enough oxygen to work normally. It can be a sign of heart disease.

Myocardial infarction is the first reason of death in the world according to the World Health Organization ; it still represents more than ten per cent of deaths in France. A clot obstructs a coronary artery and it's infarction! Affecting more often the over-fifties these heart attacks impact nearly 120000 French people every year, more than one third of whom die.

Myocardial infarction is the instant consequence of the total obstruction of a coronary artery or one of its ramifications. Suddenly deprived of oxygen, the downstream part of the heart dies. Blood and oxygen and so the energy which are essential to the heart work are not carried. Moreover, the necrosis of myocardial cells, caused by oxygen absence, results in the liberation of enzymes in the blood, which in their turn ruin the tissues near the injury.

This phenomenon is gone<(??) appears ?? most of the time with thoracic pain comparable with cramps. If the lack of oxygen just affects a little part of the myocardium, recovery is possible. But according to the importance of the heart attack and the myocardium place where the attack occurs, infarction can cause disablement and even death."

Mylène