Commentaire De Texte

[mel59]

Bonjour, j'ai besoin d'une correction sur mon commentaire: Un énorme merci d'avance :

This document is a newspaper article, the title is Bad teachers are main cause of pupil failure, it was published in september 1998 by the Sunday time. The autor is Judith O' Reilly. This newspaper is the more selled with a quality information, the Time is consequently a quality paper and no a tabloid.

This document deals with problem of pupil failure, The passage is devoted to this topic. The reporter's main concern is shown that pupil failure isn't only due to social condition.

First and furemost, the article refers about a survey that the main topic is pupil failure. This article is very important because it bases one's argument on a report, survey,tests. Consequently, the arguments that are explained are proved, the autor gives an account of it.

This article is very amazing because it deals with pupil failure with an another point of view. Indeed, generaly, pupil failure must have to social background, it's the only reason, the wealth and home life explain this problem. But, Judith O' Reilly shows that social background isn't the only answer.

Indeed, with a survey or a test, people like John Marks testifies and shows that the problem comes from the bad teachers. It's a new reason about pupil failure. In other words, this article is in contradiction with an another survey that exposed the only social background like factor about failure.

It's true that social background is probably a difficulty for this pupil because school isn't a main preocupation due to family problems. But, this survey shows to success at school, it's not a only history about wealth. School is challanged because it's teaching that puts problem.

Furthermore, there are a lot of differences between pupil in the same school and between schools. There is a gap more and more important. But a survey notes also that there is a gap between pupils who come from the same social background. The situation is very tragic because the gap increases more and more in the secondary school.

According to me, social background or bad teaching aren't the only reason of pupil failure. Indeed, this article don't deal with pupil's motivation. It 's a very important factor. In fact, even if pupil has a good teaching and comes from a well-off social background, it's not sure about this pupil works good, especially, if he doesn't motivated. It's very important that teaching deals with subject that interest pupils like animals, television, computer, cinema...

In addition, motivation increases with a teaching that is based to a plan, consequently pupil knows why he works,and in what aim?

Furthermore, it's more easy for a child who comes from a well-off social background because with his family environment, he learns more things, he has a basic culture. It's different with a pupils who come from a low social background. For example, generaly, he comes out very much his area. But, it's true that is pupils are more motivated, they wish for get thought.

Indeed,english school system is more adapted for motivation thanks to a lot of options. This system permit to increase envy to teach. This document casts a light on pupil failure but there are a lot of factors to explain this situation.

[mel59]

Help me!!!!

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

En te lisant et corrigeant, je retire la très désagréable impression que tu as écrit ça en pensant à autre chose ou en faisant ton jogging.

Ton texte est truffé de fautes de grammaire que je qualifierai de grossièrement élémentaires :

- sujet pluriel avec verbe singulier

- sujet singulier avec auxiliaire négatif do pluriel

- emploi de do à la place de be verbe d'état

- ignorance du comparatif de supériorité d'un adjectif court

- emploi de l'article indéfini a devant un nom pluriel

Conseil : à l'avenir, évite d'écrire d'abord ton texte en français. OUBLIE le français, écris DIRECTEMENT en anglais, en pensant tournures et vocabulaire anglais.

Le résultat sera toujours meilleur qu'un texte écrit en français et "traduit" ensuite en anglais.

A bon entendeur...

This document is a newspaper article. The title is "Bad teachers are main cause of pupil failure." It was published in september 1998 by the Sunday Times. The author is Judith O' Reilly. This <newspaper> is <the more selled with> a quality information newspaper that sells most well. The Times is consequently a quality paper and not a tabloid.

This document deals with the problem of pupil failure. The passage is devoted to this topic. The reporter's main concern is to show that pupil failure isn't only due to social condition.

First and foremost, the article refers <about> to a survey <that> according to which the main topic is pupil failure. This article is very important because it bases <one's> its argument on a report, a survey, tests. Consequently, the arguments that are explained are proved, the autor gives an account of <it> them.

This article is very amazing because it deals with pupil failure <with an> from another point of view. Indeed, generally speaking, pupil failure must <have> be related to the social background, it's the only reason, the wealth and home living condition explain this problem. But, Judith O' Reilly shows that the social background isn't the only answer.

Indeed, with a survey or a test, people like John Marks testify and show that the problem comes from <the> bad teachers. It's a new reason about pupil failure. In other words, this article is in contradiction with <an> another survey that exposed the only social background like factor about failure.

It's true that the social background is probably a difficulty for this pupil because school isn't a main preoccupation due to family problems. But, this survey shows that success at school, <it'> is not <a> only <history about> a question of wealth. School is challenged because it's teaching that <puts> creates the problem. (?)

Furthermore, there are a lot of differences between pupils in the same school and between schools. There is a <gap> more and more important gap. But a survey also notes <also> that there is a gap between pupils who come from the same social background. The situation is very tragic because the gap increases more and more in the secondary school.

According to me, social background or bad teaching aren't the only reason of pupil failure. Indeed, this article doesn't deal with pupil's motivation. It 's a very important factor. In fact, even if a pupil has a good teaching and comes from a well-off social background, it's not sure <about> this pupil works <good> well, especially, if he <does> isn't motivated. It's very important that teaching deals with subjects that interest pupils like animals, television, computer, cinema...

In addition, motivation increases with a teaching that is based <to> on a plan, consequently pupil knows why he works, and <in what aim> what for.

Furthermore, it's <more easy> easier for a child who comes from a well-off social background because with his family environment, he learns more things, he has a basic culture. It's different with a pupil<s> who comes from a lower social background. [For example, generally, he comes out very much his area.] <-- Cela n'au aucun sens. But, it's true that <is> these pupils are more motivated, they wish <for> to get through. (?)

Indeed, the English school system is more adapted for motivation thanks to a lot of options. This system permits to increase the envy to <teach> learn.<-- Je suppose ! This document casts a light on pupil failure but there are a lot of factors to explain this situation.

[mel59]

Bonjour,

En te lisant et corrigeant, je retire la très désagréable impression que tu as écrit ça en pensant à autre chose ou en faisant ton jogging.

Ton texte est truffé de fautes de grammaire que je qualifierai de grossièrement élémentaires :

- sujet pluriel avec verbe singulier

- sujet singulier avec auxiliaire négatif do pluriel

- emploi de do à la place de be verbe d'état

- ignorance du comparatif de supériorité d'un adjectif court

- emploi de l'article indéfini a devant un nom pluriel

Conseil : à l'avenir, évite d'écrire d'abord ton texte en français. OUBLIE le français, écris DIRECTEMENT en anglais, en pensant tournures et vocabulaire anglais.

Le résultat sera toujours meilleur qu'un texte écrit en français et "traduit" ensuite en anglais.

A bon entendeur...

This document is a newspaper article. The title is "Bad teachers are main cause of pupil failure." It was published in september 1998 by the Sunday Times. The author is Judith O' Reilly. This <newspaper> is <the more selled with> a quality information newspaper that sells most well. The Times is consequently a quality paper and not a tabloid.

This document deals with the problem of pupil failure. The passage is devoted to this topic. The reporter's main concern is to show that pupil failure isn't only due to social condition.

First and foremost, the article refers <about> to a survey <that> according to which the main topic is pupil failure. This article is very important because it bases <one's> its argument on a report, a survey, tests. Consequently, the arguments that are explained are proved, the autor gives an account of <it> them.

This article is very amazing because it deals with pupil failure <with an> from another point of view. Indeed, generally speaking, pupil failure must <have> be related to the social background, it's the only reason, the wealth and home living condition explain this problem. But, Judith O' Reilly shows that the social background isn't the only answer.

Indeed, with a survey or a test, people like John Marks testify and show that the problem comes from <the> bad teachers. It's a new reason about pupil failure. In other words, this article is in contradiction with <an> another survey that exposed the only social background like factor about failure.

It's true that the social background is probably a difficulty for this pupil because school isn't a main preoccupation due to family problems. But, this survey shows that success at school, <it'> is not <a> only <history about> a question of wealth. School is challenged because it's teaching that <puts> creates the problem. (?)

Furthermore, there are a lot of differences between pupils in the same school and between schools. There is a <gap> more and more important gap. But a survey also notes <also> that there is a gap between pupils who come from the same social background. The situation is very tragic because the gap increases more and more in the secondary school.

According to me, social background or bad teaching aren't the only reason of pupil failure. Indeed, this article doesn't deal with pupil's motivation. It 's a very important factor. In fact, even if a pupil has a good teaching and comes from a well-off social background, it's not sure <about> this pupil works <good> well, especially, if he <does> isn't motivated. It's very important that teaching deals with subjects that interest pupils like animals, television, computer, cinema...

In addition, motivation increases with a teaching that is based <to> on a plan, consequently pupil knows why he works, and <in what aim> what for.

Furthermore, it's <more easy> easier for a child who comes from a well-off social background because with his family environment, he learns more things, he has a basic culture. It's different with a pupil<s> who comes from a lower social background. [For example, generally, he comes out very much his area.] <-- Cela n'au aucun sens. But, it's true that <is> these pupils are more motivated, they wish <for> to get through. (?)

Indeed, the English school system is more adapted for motivation thanks to a lot of options. This system permits to increase the envy to <teach> learn.<-- Je suppose ! This document casts a light on pupil failure but there are a lot of factors to explain this situation.

[Jean B]

Ce que tu peux rédiger au brouillon en français, c'est ton plan avec ses sous-ensembles et tes idées principales avec leurs idées-satellite.

Ensuite, je le répète, rédige ton travail directement en anglais.

Ne traduis surtout pas car ce que tu obtiendrais ressemblerait certes à de l'anglais mais ne "sonnerait" pas anglais.

Do you see what I mean?

Bonne continuation.

PS Pour répondre à un message sans joindre le précédent, clique sur le bouton REPONDRE 3 lignes plus bas, entre FLASH et NOUVEAU.

[mel59]

Merci JRB, pour la première fois j'ai pris la parole spontannement en classe, grace à ma préparation, cela m'aide à me sentir moins nulle et surtout me motive, je vais faire un effort pour la prochaine fois je vais rédiger uniquement mon plan, en tout cas encore merci.

[Jean B]

Bravo, c'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron.

Bonne continuation.