Creative Writing (2)

[cafécanelle]

Bonjour, après avoir suivi les conseils de anglais j'ai écrit mon paragraphe et j'aurai besoin de votre aide pour me corriger SVP! Voici mon paragraphe:

Project Description

My friends and I are going to set up a committee of fair trade in our school. On the one hand, we will set up a booth twice a week in the main area of the school with posters and pamphlets on fair trade. Thus our main goal is to raise awareness of the fair trade. On the other hand, we also support fair trade by promoting our school to use fair trade for fundraisers, vending machines, and cafeteria; spreading the word, and more…

To mark the beginning of the Fortnight fair, the committee members will be in the city centre, in order to encourage people to peel, snacks, wear it, and make Fairtrade part of their daily lives. We can sell chocolate, coffee, tea, handicrafts, garments, and more… Finally, as in high school, we can create stands information on how to become a responsible consumer and an active agent to halt to poverty.

As a result, we rely on your help to make trade fair for all.

Je vous remercie d'avance!

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Project Description

My friends and I are going to set up a committee of fair trade in our school. On the one hand, we will set up a stall/stand/booth twice a week in the main area of the school with posters and pamphlets on fair trade. Thus our main goal is to <raise> get people to become aware of <the> fair trade. On the other hand, we also support fair trade by promoting our school to use fair trade for fundraisers, vending machines, and cafeteria; spreading the word, and more…

To mark the beginning of the Fortnight fair, the committee members will be in the city centre, in order to encourage people to peel,(??) snacks,(??) wear it,(??) and make Fairtrade part of their daily lives. We can sell chocolate, coffee, tea, handicrafts, garments, and more… Finally, as in high school, we can create <stands> information stands/stalls on how to become a responsible consumer and an active agent to stop/halt <to> poverty.

As a result, we rely on your help to make trade fair for all.

* N'aurais-tu pas oublié certains élémenrs dans la deuxième partie de la première phrase du second paragraphe ? => ...to encourage people to...??...??...??

[cafécanelle]

Bonjour et merci mais j'aurai encore besoin de votre aide SVP, pour le 2éme paragraphe j'ai enlevé certaines choses mais je ne sais pas si c'est bon maintenant pourriez vous m'aider SVP?

To mark the beginning of the Fortnight fair, the committee members will be in the city centre, in order to encourage people make Fairtrade part of their daily lives. We can sell chocolate, coffee, tea, handicrafts, garments, and more… Finally, as in high school, we can create information stands/stalls on how to become a responsible consumer and an active agent to stop/halt poverty.

[Jean B]

Bonjour et merci mais j'aurai encore besoin de votre aide SVP, pour le 2éme paragraphe j'ai enlevé certaines choses mais je ne sais pas si c'est bon maintenant pourriez vous m'aider SVP?

To mark the beginning of the Fortnight fair, the committee members will be in the city centre, in order to encourage people make Fairtrade part of their daily lives. We can sell chocolate, coffee, tea, handicrafts, garments, and more… Finally, as in high school, we can create information stands/stalls on how to become a responsible consumer and an active agent to stop/halt poverty.

[cafécanelle]

* C'est parfait.