Deux Petites Expressions écrites

[CarenHermy]

Bonjour,

I'm currently in 1ère ES and the teacher gave us two little letters to write in English. Could you just let me know about my mistakes without correcting them ? Thank you in advance for your help.

1st letter (formal) :

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have lastly received an advertisement about a summer camp you organize. I am interested in it because I believe it could be very beneficial to me, but before making up my mind, I would like to get more informations about this adventure course in Scotland. First of all, I would like to know where do participants sleep and what kind of accommodation is this ? Then, have you foreseen a special program for people who do not succeed in doing activities ? Moreover, I would like to ask you the length of each day and if we sometimes have free times. I would be thankful if you could tell me the price of this trip and what is included in. Are the sea and the land course the same price ? To finish, would you be kind enough to tell me whether I have to fill an application form to participate to the land course ?

My thanks in advance for your reply.

Yours faithfully,

***** *****

2nd letter (informal) :

Dear xxxxx,

It was great to hear from you and I'm glad you're alright. However, my holiday doesn't happen as well as yours. A lot of pathetic things happened to me lastly. To begin with, I broke my legs on the first day. I was coming downstairs and all of a sudden I missed the two lasts steps. I have been very painful ! Then, my mother carried me to the hospital and I was told my leg was broken. There's nothing better to start the holiday, I promise ! In the end, I've had my leg in plaster and I stayed in my bed all the two first weeks long because I couldn't take the most of anything. I tried everything to pass the time : reading, watching TV, chatting and I did my homework for school, do you realize this ? That's totally amazing !

Otherwise, Amélie and her boyfriend came to me. This was the only positive thing that happened. I hope that things are going to be better. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.

All the best,

xxxx

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Tes désirs étant des ordres, tu trouveras les éléments à revoir balisés en rouge .

A toi donc de trouver pourquoi.

1st letter (formal) :

Dear Sir or Madam,

I have lastly received an advertisement about a summer camp you organize. I am interested in it because I believe it could be very beneficial to me, but before making up my mind, I would like to get more informations about this adventure course in Scotland. First of all, I would like to know where do participants sleep and what kind of accommodation is this ? Then, have you foreseen a special program for people who do not succeed in doing activities ? Moreover, I would like to ask you the length of each day and if we sometimes have free times. I would be thankful if you could tell me the price of this trip and what is included in. Are the sea and the land course the same price ? To finish, would you be kind enough to tell me whether I have to fill an application form to participate to the land course ?

My thanks in advance for your reply.

Yours faithfully,

***** *****

2nd letter (informal) :

Dear xxxxx,

It was great to hear from you and I'm glad you're alright. However, my holiday doesn't happen as well as yours. A lot of pathetic things happened to me lastly. To begin with, I broke my legs on the first day. I was coming downstairs and all of a sudden I missed the two last<s> steps. I have been very painful ! Then, my mother carried me to the hospital and I was told my leg was broken. There's nothing better to start the holiday, I promise ! In the end, I've had my leg xxx in plaster and I stayed in my bed all the two first weeks long because I couldn't take the most of anything. I tried everything to pass the time : reading, watching TV, chatting and I did my homework for school, do you realize this ? That's totally amazing !

Otherwise, Amélie and her boyfriend came to xxx me. This was the only positive thing that happened. I hope that things are going to be better. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.

All the best,

xxxx

[CarenHermy]

Merci beaucoup de votre aide !

[Jean B]

Merci beaucoup de votre aide !