Correction

[margauxxx]

bonjour ,

merci encore d'accorder de la considération à mon message.

En ayant bien lu relu et ratta relu mon sujet jemess rendue compte quec'éatit unesorte de boographie surle rêve américain c'estpourquoi j'ai choisi bll gates. ESt ce que vous auriez l'amabilité de me dire si j'ai fait des fautes ou s'il y a de sphrases qui sont malk tournées ou je nesais pas tropquoi encore.

J'avoue que c'est assez urgent c'est pourlundi,je voulais le faire avt mais j'étais malade.merci bcp voilàle texte:

I was born on October 28th, in Seattle. I’d say that I was raised in a wealthy family by my father who was a prominent lawyer and my mother who was a school teacher, the university of Washington regent and chairwomen of united way international. I happily grew up with 2 sisters.

When I was young, I developed an important curiosity and I excelled in elementary school especially in mathematics and the sciences. I wanted already surpass the average and above my classmate.

I hoped for me the best future, that’s why I convinced my parents at thirteen years old to enrol me in the Lakeside Scholl, which was the Seattle’s most exclusive preparatory school.

During all my schooling, I evaluated in a privileged environment and that’s the reason why I had the possibility to discover in the spring term of 1968 computers. Though the computers were still too expensive to buy, the school held a fundraiser and acquired computers.

It was a revelation for me, and I really wanted to generalizing this access to others people. With some others students I became addicted to them. I finished spending more time in the computers room than in others classrooms. I am fighting with my classmates to be more efficient as they.

With theses machines, I was like an inventor; I felt I had to help in the creation of a new World. I spent all day and all nights writing programs, reading computer literature and anything else we could to learn about computing.

We were amazed by these technological feats and we neglected all including homework for them.

Despite that I succeed to enter in Harvard University in 1973. There, I met up one of my best friend Paul Allen. With him, I developed the first version of a language program, it was called BASICS. I finally managed to be more innovative than others.

I purses my studies for an year and a half but my life changed in January 1972 when I saw a cover story made by a firm named MITS.

When Allen showed me the story, I understood what I wanted to do in my life: develop computers’ programs. My passion turned into vocation.

That’s why, I decided to drop out oh Harvard, ending my academic life and beginning as a software design.

I co-founded with Allen Microsoft and we past our time to wrote programs. My main goal was to eliminate all competitors especially apple. By creating machines and software provided hope to create a monopoly around Microsoft and I impeached the use by my competitors.

I also won my personal life: I married with Melinda French and I had with her 3 children: Jennifer, John, and Phoebe and I live in one of the most expensive house of the world.

Now, I decide to give my money to foundation to ensure my Salute and the only advice I can give is to always believe in yours dreams to win in the life. You have to give yourself the means of your dreams, your ambitions and not avoid to make sacrifices to succeed.

If you follow my advice, you will succeed like me and you will be a model for future generations.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

I was born on October 28th, in Seattle. I'd say that I was raised in a wealthy family by my father who was a prominent lawyer and my mother who was a school teacher, the university of Washington regent and chairwom<e>An of United Way International. I happily grew up with 2 sisters.

When I was young, I developed an important curiosity and I excelled in elementary school especially in mathematics and <the> sciences. I already wanted <surpass>TO BE OVER <the> average and <above> SURPASS my classmateS.

I <hoped for me> WANTED the best future, that's why I convinced my parents, <at> WHEN I WAS thirteen years old, to enrol me in <the> Lakeside School, which was <the> Seattle's most exclusive preparatory school.

During all my schooling, I <evaluated> EVOLVED/WAS in a privileged environment and that's the reason why I had the possibility to discover computers in the spring term of 1968 <computers>. Though <the> computers were still too expensive to buy, the school <held>ORGANIZED/GAVE a fundraiser and acquired computers.

It was a revelation for me, and I really wanted to generaliz<ing>E this access to other<s> people. With some other<s> students I became addicted to them. I finished spending more time in the computers room than in other<s> classrooms. I <am>WAS fighting with my classmates to be more efficient <as>THAN <they>THEM.

With theses machines, I was like an inventor; I felt I had to help in the creation of a new World. I spent all day and all nights writing programs, reading computer literature and anything else we could <to> learn about computing.

We were amazed by these technological feats and we neglected <all> EVERYTHING ELSE including homework for them.

Despite that, I succeedED <to> IN <enter in> JOINING Harvard University in 1973. There, I met <up> one of my best friendS Paul Allen. With him, I developed the first version of a language program, <it was> called BASICS. I finally managed to be more innovative than others.

I pursUe<s>D my studies for <an> ONE year and a half but my life changed in January 1972 when I saw a cover story made by a firm named MITS.

When Allen showed me the story, I understood what I wanted to do in my life: develop comput<ers'>ING programs/SOFTWARE. My passion turned into A vocation.

That's why, I decided to drop out oF Harvard, ending my academic life and beginning as a software designER.

I co-founded Microsoft with Allen <Microsoft> and we <past> SPENT our time <to wrote> WRITING programs. My main goal was to eliminate all competitors especially Apple. By creating machines and software I provided hope to create a monopoly around Microsoft and I <impeached> PREVENTED <the use by> my competitors FROM USING THEM.

I also <won> SUCCEEDED IN my personal life: I married <with> Melinda French and I had THREE CHILDREN with her <3 children>: Jennifer, John, and Phoebe and I live in one of the most expensive houseS <of> IN the world.

Now, I HAVE decideD to give my money to A foundation to ensure my salute and the only advice I can give is to always believe in your<s> dreams to win in <the> life. You have to give yourself the means of your dreams, your ambitions and not avoid to make sacrifices to succeed.

If you follow my advice, you will succeed like me and you will be a model for future generations.

* Ces corrections se passent de tout commentaire.

[margauxxx]

Merci beaucoup pour les corrections j'avoue que j'ai beaucoup de difficulté. Encore merci

[Jean B]

Merci beaucoup pour les corrections j'avoue que j'ai beaucoup de difficulté. Encore merci