Correction D'un écrit

[cima59]

Bonjour, j'ai eu a faire un écrit en anglais sur le sujet suivant : Would you be ready to go and work in another country?

je vous demmande de bien vouloir me donner un coup de main pour corriger mes fautes.

A lot of people would like travel in other differents country but we can ask ourselves if the travel is also easy.For what reasons do the people leave? but also for what reasons do the people may be demotive?

Firstly, travel in a other country give ourselves the possibility of discover other culture, custom and tradition but too discover a different way of life of oneself.Moreover, for some people that allow people to learn the lenguage with more facility. And finally, there is a category of people whose like to venture in unknown places.

Secondly, to leave your family, after a while, perhaps difficult.Moreover, the fear to have the feeling to be abandon by the other that is don't be accept by everybody can spoil the pleasure.Last but no least, there is the fear not to know to manage in the difficult moment because I don't know places and the lenguage.

To conclude, travels can be beneficial for much reasons, the work, the pleasure, the discovery but a lot of people have been to stop bys this fear or this attachment.

[Jean B]

Bonjour, j'ai eu a faire un écrit en anglais sur le sujet suivant : Would you be ready to go and work in another country?

je vous demmande de bien vouloir me donner un coup de main pour corriger mes fautes.

A lot of people would like travel in other differents country but we can ask ourselves if the travel is also easy.For what reasons do the people leave? but also for what reasons do the people may be demotive?

Firstly, travel in a other country give ourselves the possibility of discover other culture, custom and tradition but too discover a different way of life of oneself.Moreover, for some people that allow people to learn the lenguage with more facility. And finally, there is a category of people whose like to venture in unknown places.

Secondly, to leave your family, after a while, perhaps difficult.Moreover, the fear to have the feeling to be abandon by the other that is don't be accept by everybody can spoil the pleasure.Last but no least, there is the fear not to know to manage in the difficult moment because I don't know places and the lenguage.

To conclude, travels can be beneficial for much reasons, the work, the pleasure, the discovery but a lot of people have been to stop bys this fear or this attachment.

[yveslouis]

Hello!

J'ai corrigé les fautes les plus criantes mais l'ensemble reste maladroit. Tu aurais intérêt, comme te le dit JRB, à ré-écritre ton texte. J'ajoute, après la correction, quelques conseils et des mots de liaison qui pourront t'aider.

<...> = à supprimer

MAJUSCULES = à ajourze

(???) = Je ne comprends pas

A lot of people would like TO travel in other different<s country> COUNTRIES but we can <ask ourselves if> WONDER WHETHER <the> travelLING is <al>so easy. For what reasons do <the> people leave? But also for what reasons do <the> people may be demotive (???)?

Firstly, travelLING in aNother country giveS <ourselves> US the possibility <of> TO discover other cultureS, customS and traditionS but <too> ALSO discover a different way of life of oneself (???). Moreover, <for some people> that allowS SOME people to learn <the> A DIFFERENT <lenguage> LANGUAGE <with more facility> MORE EASILY. And finally, there is a category of people who<se> like to venture in unknown places.

Secondly, <to leave> LEAVING your family,<after a while ,> <perhaps> MAY BE difficult AFTER A WHILE. Moreover, <the fear to have the> feeling <to> WE <be> ARE abandonNED by <the> otherS <that is don't> CAN'T be acceptED by everybody AND can spoil the pleasure. Last but no least, <there is the> ONE MAY fear not to know HOW to manage in <the> difficult momentS because <I> YOU don't know THE places and the lAnguage.

To conclude, travels can be beneficial for <much> MANY reasons, <the> work, <the> pleasure, <the> discovery but a lot of people have been <to> stopPED by<s> this fear or this attachment.

@+

Conseils : Ne fais pas de phrases trop longues. Deux propositions suffisent amplement. Essaye de "penser" en anglais. Mets quelques mots, qui seront un mini plan, sur une feuille de papier, puis rédige en anglais.

MOTS DE LIAISON :

to begin with = pour commencer

then = puis

besides/moreover = de plus

thus = ainsi

therefore = en conséquence

finally = enfin

in short = bref,..

all things considered = tout compte fait

to recap = en résumé

to conclude / in conclusion = pour conclure

I'd say that = je dirais que

it seems to me that = il me semble que

as for = quant à

according to = d'après (quelqu'un d'autre que moi)

to my mind = à mon avis

how can I put it = comment dire...

mind you (familier) = remarquez...

what I mean is that = ce que je veux dire, c'est que

the point is (that) = le fait est que

in other words = autrement dit

that is to say = c'est-à-dire

actually = en réalité, en fait

in fact = en fait

in a way = en un sens

to a certain extent = dans une certaine mesure

anyway = en tous cas

as a rule = en règle générale

generally speaking = en général

on the whole = dans l'ensemble

on the one hand = d'une part / d'un côté

on the other hand = d'autre part / d'un autre côté

still = quand même / tout de même

yet = pourtant

however = cependant

on the contrary = au contraire

in spite of = en dépit de / malgré

by the way = au fait...

that reminds me = ça me fait penser......

first / firstly = d'abord

next / after that = après celà

Secondly =en second lieu

also / too / as well = aussi/également

neither...nor = ni...ni

indeed = en effet

in fact/ as a matter of fact/actually = en fait

of course/ naturally/ (quite) obviously = bien sûr/ évidemment

OPPOSITION :

but = mais

nevertheless. however = cependant, toutefois

yet = pourtant

on the contrary = au contraire

on the other hand = en revanche

On the one hand...on the other hand = d'une part...d'autre part

(al)though = bien que

in spite of/ despite = malgré/ en dépit de

whereas/ while = alors que/ tandis que

CONDITION:

If/ provided/providing (that) = si/ à condition que

supposing = à supposer que

in case = au cas où

even if = même si

except if/ unless = à moins que

TIME:

When = quand/lorsque

while = pendant que

whenever = chaque fois que

before = avant que

after = après que

since = depuis que

till. until = jusqu'à ce que

as soon as = dès que

as long as = tant que

meanwhile/ in the meantime = en attendant/ entretemps

PURPOSE : (but)

(in order) to/ so as to = afin de

with a view to = dans l'intention de

in order that/ so that = afin que/ de sorte que

CAUSE :

because = parce que

as = comme

since = puisque

for = car

because of/ owing to/ due to = à cause de/ en raison de

thanks to = grâce à

what... for = pourquoi/ dans quel but ?

CONSEQUENCE:

so/ thus = donc/ ainsi

therefore/ accordingly/ consequently = par conséquent

hence = d'où

thereby/ as a result (of which) = de ce fait

so/such...that = si/ tellement que

so that = de telle sorte que

CONCLUSION:

in short/ in brief/ in a word/ to sum up = en un mot/ en résumé

eventually = à la fin

last (of all)/ lastly/ in the end/ finally = enfin/ en dernier lieu

in conclusion/ to conclude = en conclusion

@+ )