Expression écrite

[sarro]

bonjours

voila j'ai une expression écrite en anglais à rendre jeudi, elle est dans le fichier joint et je voulais savoir si vs pourriez svp me corriger les fautes d'orthographe et de gammaire

merci d'avance

[Jean B]

bonjours

voila j'ai une expression écrite en anglais à rendre jeudi, elle est dans le fichier joint et je voulais savoir si vs pourriez svp me corriger les fautes d'orthographe et de gammaire

merci d'avance

[sarro]

bonjours

exusez-moi pr le mauvais sens de la feuille donc voila j'ai tapé le sujet sur l'ordi et j'ai mis des lignes pour corriger facilemant en citant les lignes, le sujet est dans le fichier joint

merci pr tou

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

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Voila le sujet :

What IS Helen ‘s feeling for her mother after reading the letter and why? If her mother was still alive what would she reproach her with?

Expression:

While clearing her dead mother’s clothes, Helen finds a letter whICH was addressed to her. This letter was written in 1965 by someone called Peter Datchett who HAD BEEN her boyfriend TEN YEARS BEFORE.(?) Peter wrote this letter to invite Helen TO dinner so THAT HE COULD explain to her the “misunderstanding” and make amends.

After reading the letter, Helen was all shoCkED, perturbed and she didn’t know what to do. She TRIED to understand if her mother had done it Involuntarily to prevent her FROM seeING Peter or if she only forgot to give her the letter. But for Helen, it was too late because her mother HAD DIED and hence the effect was the same. Helen feLT angRY against her mother because THE LATTER SHOULD HAVE GIVEN her the letter when she HAD received IT. Then, Helen FELT hatred against her mother because THE LATTER bungled her life, completely RUINED IT. If Helen HAD received the letter when IT came more THAN ten years AGO, SHE would probably be LIVING tOday with Peter and this regret makes HER hate her mother more and more.

If her mother Was still alive, then Helen WOULD certainly reproach her FOR being careless. Her mother dIDn’t care ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S businessES, and completely neglectED HER duties and responsibilities. HELEN WOULD also reproach her FOR being irresponsible because her mother HADN'T GIVEN HER the letter when she met her and the COURSE OF events would HAVE BEEN set otherwise.

In conclusion, we can say that Helen was right TO BE ANGRY at her mother because THE LATTER more or less bungled her life. HOWEVER her mother is aN AGED person, thus it’s normal she forgets THINGS, which means HELEN should forgive her mother. HER mother HAS died so it’s better FOR HELEN to forgive HER than to hold it against HER.

* Sans vouloir t'offenser, ton expression manque singulièrement de clarté, à un point tel que l'on ne sait plus très vite qui est qui, ni qui dit ou fait quoi.

Ce n'est que vers la fin que j'ai fini par me douter qu'il pouvait s'agir du scénario du film de Clint Eastwood avec Merryl Streep "Sur la route de Madison".

Mais tu t'emberlificotes tellement les pédales dans tes phrases à rallonge que je n'en suis pas certain, c'est dire.

Et qu'est-ce que tous ces chiffres viennent faire dans tout ça ?

Enfin, j'ai fait pour le mieux en tronquant parfois tes phrases.

Conseil : à l'avenir, oblige-toi à composer des phrases courtes avec deux propositions au maximum.

Evite de d'abord écrire ton texte en français. C'est une perte de temps qui te pousse à commettre de nombreuses impropriétés.

Ecris DIRECTEMENT en anglais, en pensant vovabulaire, expressions, syntaxe, composition de phrases anglaises. Le résultat sera toujours meilleur qu'un texte de français "traduit".

Bonne chance.

[sarro]

bonjours,

merci pour vos conseils.

comme la gêve a durée toute la semaine j'ai donc refait l'expression en mettant en valeur vos conseils. j'espere que vs trouvez ça mieux et que vs me corrigiez les fautes de grammaire.

merci d'avance

Expression:

After reading the letter, Helen shook, perturbed and she didn’t know what to do. She sought(=chercher) to understand if her mother had done it voluntarily to prevent her to see Peter or if she only forgot to give her the letter. As Helen's mother is dead, the effect was the same. Helen was anger against her mother for several reasons: firstly, this one had to give her the letter when she received it. Secondly,she bungled her life. And finally, she completely lost her life. Indeed, if Helen received the letter when it arrived ten years a go, she would probably be with Peter today. This regret had made that Helen had hated her mother more and more.

If her mother was still alive, Helen would certainly reproach her of being not only careless but also irresponsible. Indeed, her mum completely neglected her duties and responsibilities.

In conclusion, we can say that Helen has a right to be cross with her mother because this one has bungled daughter's life. On the other hand, Helen's mother was a person aged thus it was normal she forgot, which means that Helen should forgive her mother. In my opinion, it’s better to forgive than to hold it against (= en vouloir) someone who doesn’t even part of this world.

[Jean B]

After reading the letter, Helen WAS shoCkED, perturbed and didn’t know what to do. She TRIED to understand if her mother had done it voluntarily to prevent her FROM seeING Peter or if she only forgot to give her the letter. As Helen's mother WAS dead, the effect was the same. Helen was angRY against her mother for several reasons: firstly, THE LATTER had to give her the letter when she received it. Secondly,she bungled her life. And finally, she completely lost her life. Indeed, if Helen HAD received the letter when it arrived ten years a go, she would probably be with Peter today. This regret had made Helen HATE her mother more and more.

If her mother was still alive, Helen would certainly reproach her FOR being not only careless but also irresponsible. Indeed, her mum completely neglected her duties and responsibilities.

In conclusion, we can say that Helen has a right to be cross with her mother because THE LATTER has bungled HER daughter's life. On the other hand, Helen's mother was AN AGED person, thus it was normal she forgot, which means that Helen should forgive her mother. In my opinion, it’s better to forgive than to hold it against someone who HAS DEpartED this world.

* Si tu dois ne tenir aucun compte de mes corrections précédentes et répéter les mêmes erreurs, je ne vois pas pourquoi je continuerais à te lire.

Désolé, je ne suis pas masochiste.

[sarro]

bonjours

je suis désolé mais j'ai pri en compte votre correction précédante ce qu'il y a c que vs avez fait certaines erreurs com WAS SHOCKED car c 1 verbe irrégulier donc ça prend pa -ED, le verbe c SHAKE et au passé ça donne SHook et au participe passé ça donne SHAKEN

mais merci pour le reste

[Jean B]

bonjours

je suis désolé mais j'ai pri en compte votre correction précédante ce qu'il y a c que vs avez fait certaines erreurs com WAS SHOCKED car c 1 verbe irrégulier donc ça prend pa -ED, le verbe c SHAKE et au passé ça donne SHook et au participe passé ça donne SHAKEN

mais merci pour le reste