Correction Mon Essai

[albert84]

Slt a tous,je dois rendre pour mardi une expression puis étant trés nul en anglais, j'aurai besoin que quelqun corrige mes fautes si ca ne le derange pas.je vous remercie par avance.

voici mon expression:

The United States is a very developed country, because it is the first worldwide potency, but also because it is a renowned country to assure its future. I am going to give my motivations which make me plan to go to live in the United States and the disadvantages which make that I shall not like to live there. I would like to live for a while in the United-States to be able to learn the language because I have a lot of basic problems with English. I think that to be studying in the United States is very interesting because there is a vast choice of good universities and they are acknowledged, what will later allow to find a good job in France or there because there are a lot chance of success.

I would also like to live there to discover landscape, culture and history of this country because they say that it is splendid and that everything is immoderate, very big.

I shall want to make new meetings, then also because the Americans are nice. The United States is a country very developed therefore moved forward at the level of technology what allows them to benefit first of all the world of innovative products.

But, I won’t like to live in the United-States because we meet far from our family and our friends what is for my necessary. More living conditions differ, and there is not social equality what is very important in France. The war in Iraq shows that the United States are not in a climate of peace.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Corrections et ajouts en majuscules

The United States is a very developed country because it is the first POWER IN THE WORLD, but also because it is a renowned country to assure its future. I am going to give THE REASONS WHY I COULD go AND live in the United States and THOSE WHY I COULDN'T live there.

ON THE ONE HAND, I would like to live for a while in the United-States to be able to learn the language because I have a lot of basic problems with English. I think that studying in the United States WOULD BE very interesting because there is a vast choice of good universities and they are acknowledged, WHICH WOULD later allow ME to find a good job in France or there because there are a lot of OPPORTUNITIES.

I would also like to live there to discover THE landscapeS, culture and history of this country because they say that it is splendid and that everything is immoderate, very big.

I WOULD LIKE to MEET new PEOPLE, then also because (0) Americans are nice. The United States is a very developed country, therefore moved forward(?) AS REGARDS technology, WHICH allows IT to benefit FROM innovative products BEFORE ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

But ON THE OTHER HAND, I WOULDN'T like to live in the United-States because I WOULD BE STAYING far from MY family and friends, WHICH is necessary for ME. MOREOVER, THE living conditions differ, and there is not SUCH social equality AS in France, WHICH is very important TOO. The war in Iraq ALSO shows that the United States IS not LIVING in a climate of peace.

Quelques remarques :

- L'emploi du conditionnel s'impose toutes les fois que tu te trouves dans l'irréel, le non-accompli, tout comme en français d'ailleurs.

- Which doit être employé et non what pour résumer la proposition qui précède. Ce relatif traduit ce qui/ce que. A savoir, car tu l'emploies souvent.

- "The United States", bien que pluriel, commande un verbe singulier. On considère la Fédération des 50 états comme une seule nation.

Voilà, j'espère que ça va t'aider.

[albert84]

Merci bcp bcp JRB,tu as vraiment géré.l'anglais et moi ca fait 2 comme ta pu le voir :P

[Jean B]

Merci bcp bcp JRB, :P