Es Que Qqun Peut Me Corrigé Ce Pti Paragraphe

[ama14]

Abort all we can see that teenagers are the targets of consumption. They are at the age as everybody knows to be influenced. It notes that parents may be good advice to guide them in their choice of consumption. They have experience, and are more cautious in their purchases. Furthermore, they are the ones who provide the money in most of the time. Therefore, we are obliged to listen to their opinions. However, in my opinion, parents are too old-fashioned as a result their ideas on consumption is different of the(ou from) ours. Similarly our friends may influence us in our purchases. Indeed, they are in the same age group as me and so they know the current mode. They know what is trendy or not, and can advise me. For me, this will influence my way to buy. However those who influence the more the young it's advertising. It uses slogans with the name of the brand or flashy posters. This encourages the purchase. The seductive publicity who is deceptive appeal to consumption.

[Jean B]

Bonsoir,

Corrections et ajouts en majuscules.

AboVE(?) all we can see that teenagers are the targets of consumption. They are at the age WHEN everybody knows THEY CAN be influenced. It MAY BE NOTED(?) that parents CAN GIVE THEM good advice to guide them in their choices of consumption. They have experience, and are more CAREFUL WITH their purchases. Furthermore, they are the ones who provide the money in most CASES. Therefore, we are obliged to listen to their opinions. However, in my opinion, parents are too old-fashioned.(ah bon ? ) As a result, their ideas on consumption ARE different from ours. Similarly our friends may influence us in our purchases. Indeed, they are in the same age group as me and so they know the current FASHION. They know what is trendy or not, and can advise me. For me, this will influence THE way I WILL buy. However THE ELEMENT THAT MOST influenceS the young IS advertising. It uses slogans with brand NAMES or flashy posters. This encourages the purchase. The seductive publicity WHICH is deceptive appealS to consumption.

(?) signale mon incompréhension de ce qui précède ou un gros doute.

Quelques fautes énormes superflues que tu devrais pouvoir corriger en te relisant attentivement et d'un oeil férocement critique !

Voilà, j'espère que ça av t'aider.

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